To think that being in a good shape requires a daily effort and constant discipline

[Croissantsfordinner]

Especially when you are not in your 20s anymore.

I fell off the wagon and blame having a small DC and a FT job but I know nothing will ever change unless I make this a non negotiable priority.

AIBU to think that the only way to stay in a good shape in your 40s, when you work an office job especially, is to make it a daily "job"?

What do you do to keep healthy, fit and to generally feel good with yourself and your body?

I think it does get harder, I’ve just got back to exercising (5 times a week) and I am bloody tired. I have weight to lose but I’m not really counting calories. I don’t eat breakfast, I have a high protein lunch thats circa 500 calories and then hope for the best. I really don’t have the time or inclination to weigh everything. I’m a SAHM though so exercise as soon as mine is out the door for school but there are a lot of holidays and days off which is difficult to work around so have resigned myself to the fact there are days I will have to get up at five to get a workout in.

It is a job in that it does need to be part of the daily routine, I suppose. I get up early 4/5 workdays to work out with weights. Sometimes I go for a run. I practice intermittent fasting but that’s not hard as I don’t care for breakfast anyway so not a job at all. I did count calories while I was losing weight but now I’m at a weight I’m happy with I don’t pay any attention to them, just try to eat a balanced diet but I do eat as much as I want and more or less whatever I want.

I eat as well as I can, meaning that the majority of my food is organic, and I make most of my meals from scratch. I don't drink alcohol, or fizzy drinks like coke, tango etc. I have never been overweight, so that is not an issue. I am unable to exercise due to my disabilities, but I try to walk to try to maintain some semblance of fitness. I am not in the best of health due to the effect of my disabilities on my body, but I dread to think how much more poorly I would be feeling, if I had a horrendous diet.

I do weightlifting & cardio at the local gym 3 mornings a week & weekly Zumba & yoga classes, & mainly cook myself healthy food from scratch.

Breakfast is usually overnight oats with yogurt, kefir, fruit, nuts & seeds. I’m hungry in the mornings & that fills me up, then meal at lunchtime, usually something with beans or tofu, & snack in the evening.

I don’t have kids & I wfh four days a week, which I know all makes things far easier.

Yep it’s hard work! I do a manual job plus have 4 high energy dogs so walk a lot but it’s still hard work. I eat a balanced diet, very rarely get a takeaway and most meals are from scratch. I don’t drink alcohol or fizzy drinks. I’m in my 40s and a healthy weight but it takes alot of exercise and healthy eating to keep it this way.

God yes!

Nearing 40, 3 young kids, full time job and 2 kids in competitive sports that require 20 hours training a week.

Ive lost 2 stone and now im starting to tone up, its the best ive ever looked but it has been a daily constant effort of 10k steps a day, strength training 3 times a week then a cardio session at the weekend and dont get me started on the protein and calorie tracking.

I like to look at it as a huge effort with a huge reward and take my hat off to anyone thats doing it.

I'm 55 and staying in shape, fit and well hoovers up a lot of time and headspace that I'd prefer to be using on something else. I have to pay close attention to the amount I eat, the calories and nutrition of each meal, otherwise I gain weight and feel sluggish. I also have to walk briskly up hills for at least 30 minutes a day to avoid aches and pains, manage my weight and keep a level of fitness that means I'm not breathless doing things I want to do. It feels tedious and restricting at times, but my quality of life in older age will depend heavily on how 'in shape' I am, so I keep plodding on. Im lucky that my lifestyle gives me the time to do it.

But why wouldn’t you try? It’s about ongoing health more so than looking good. You can’t dodge some health issues, inherited genetic issues or if you have an accident. But you can do your best to prevent them. I know I am prone to type 2 diabetes, it’s killed more than one person in my family or caused awful issues.

My siblings haven’t because they haven’t looked after themselves. All overweight and all had diabetes by around 50. I’m almost 59 and have dodged it so far by being careful. I watched my brother die from diabetic complications in his sixties. As controversial as it is they have annoyed me greatly. We were always told about the risk our Mother lived till her nineties and managed to not develop it, it took some effort.

I had a full on 35 year career and still made exercise a priority but more than that I took notice of what I ate and drank. That’s the bottom line and what in a developed society people ignore far too much. We also expect the NHS to sort us out when we have abused ourselves.

68, and everything 5128gap says is spot on. But eating well and exercising regularly has become so intrinsic to the way I live that it has stopped being effort. It's habit. You'll get there too @Croissantsfordinner and your older self will bless you for the work you put in now. Looking around at our friends and acquaintances who are less fit than me, I know their effort would need to be tripled.

Yes, I do think staying in good shape takes effort, but how much of an effort it feels depends on so many factors.
Ideally, exercise would be part of your daily/weekly routine just like brushing your teeth, preparing food, paying your bills.
Ideally, we'd all eat nourishing meals, and get enough sleep.
And we'd enjoy exercise and eating nourishing food and getting to bed early.
The reality is that when you factor in time, money & motivation it's not so easy.

Personally, I love to exercise. For me, that's my social and down time. So it's easy for me to prioritise it. I am a lone parent to a 15 yo and my time is coming again after years and years of not being able to get out. I have made a concerted effort to join a weights class because I know that's good for me (I'm 54).

I do have time and the money to buy and prepare good food. I don't particularly enjoy cooking, but I know it's important and always feel good when I've batch cooked or made some other effort. DS is a gym/fitness rat so he helps with all that.

I am however, chronically sleep deprived because in order to fit those things in I end up staying up way too late.

I am tall and slim and when I've had periods of non exercise (young children) I stay the same, just less toned/muscular, so I do have genetics on my side.

Yes u do it everyday and deffo becomes a habit !
I have lost the weight 3stone quit smoking and go for daily hour walks and don’t sit down to much ! And eat clean fruits vegs protein and wholewheat foods !
I don’t drink alcohol anymore !
I feel 100% better doing these things !
I will b 49 this year and I thank god I changed my ways I don’t think it’s ever to late either .
Best to use the body or u lose it and having mobility problems (I have psoriatic arthritis) it’s very important to keep moving !

You are not being unreasonable but i would say there are some that manage to stay fit and healthy without having to revert to diets and exercise. My partner is one of those. Never done a days exercise and eats whatever, whenever. Has a pretty balanced diet though and doesnt have any issues with walking etc.

Me on the other hand got to a point a couple of years ago where i looked at my father and how he is struggling to breathe and get around and my brothers who are quickly getting fatter and older and i decided i was going to try to slow things down a bit. I lost 20kg+ and got fit.

My diet is 100 x better and i exercise 5-6 x per week. The thing is i dont exercise to stay in trim anymore, thats just a benefit. I exercise because it makes me feel better. It clears my head and i actually enjoy what im doing now.

Agree that the trick is creating habits and routines until the effort just becomes what you do. My personal trainer - an incredibly fit woman who has made a career out of fitness - says that 15% of the time she loves exercising and working out, 15% of the time she dislikes it, and 70% of the time she Just Does It - because it’s simply become what she does to live her life.

You don’t have to eat the elephant all at once. Start with small bites. Get off the bus or tube a few stops early on your commute and walk; begin Couch to 5K; if you’re going to the shops for only a few things you can fit in a backpack, cycle rather than drive; stop drinking alcohol on weekdays and only at weekends or special occasions; swap out an item of your lunch everyday for fruit or vegetables. Then keep putting all those pieces together.

Absolutely agree that it takes a lot of work, and there's no magic bullet. It's so worth it though. I was a smoker, heavy drinker, sugar addict and exercise refuser until I turned 30, then cleaned up my act and have kept it up for the past 15 years. I feel and look so much better now

Health and wellbeing stuff for me means weights at the gym 3 times a week, walking 4-5 times a week, yoga 2-3 times a week, cooking from scratch most of the time with plenty of plants, protein, fibre and watching the sugar and alcohol. Diet is 80:20 - some indulgence at the weekend but not going wild. Aiming for minimum 8 hours sleep a night. Lots of water. Lots of therapy helped to get my head in a better place. It all takes effort and planning and nothing happens by magic!

Walk 3 miles every morning after coffee. Eat 3 x per day, only v occassional snacks between.
No carbonated drinks (don't like, too sweet!)
Alcohol only at weekend.

You need to find some exercise that you enjoy- then it's not such an effort. I like to swim - but work hard in the pool and "reward" myself with a sauna and take nice shower stuff for afterwards so it feels like a treat. I play netball once a week- it's very very low key but I go with 2 friends and the session is relaxed and sociable. We have one quick drink afterwards once a month.
I look forward to my exercise. It's not an effort and doesn't require discipline. I hate running, I find weight training boring, so I have never stuck with them.
Do you like dancing? Could you do a dance based class?? or anything with friends to make it more fun.

YANBU that it is the case that you require these things to be in a good shape but it's unreasonable to generalise that this is the case for everyone. Lots of people maintain a healthy body naturally with no "effort" or "discipline" required - they are just wired that way.

Yes it requires self discpiline, but different forms of exercise feel very different and if you look around a bit you might find something you actually really enjoy and /want/ to do.
Swimming, aerobics, free weights, dancing, running, power walking, yoga, circus, team sports, rowing - some of these I love to do and others I hate (and that's hardly an exhaustive list).

I think a lot is luck.
I'm in my mid 40s I run 4 x a week and do weights once a week. I don't eat many upfs but otherwise I don't really monitor what I eat (and seem to eat double what the average MN eats! ) I weigh about the same as I did I'm my late 20s.

Nope, it’s the exact opposite. You find a way that you enjoy. I train 6 times a week (running and strength), work full time, have 2 DC and between DH and I we have next to no help with childcare (as in one or maybe two child free nights a year). I love running, and I don’t mean that lightly, I look forward to every run and race, love the whole essence of it, how shoes work, how to fuel it etc. I genuinely love it. Food wise I largely eat what I like, cook from scratch but I’ve learnt to control my portions and built a positive relationship with food (my parents don’t have that and it took me years to figure it out). I’ll probably eat crisps and chocolate tonight as it’s a Friday treat. I don’t see any food as “bad” because no individual food is bad.

Oh… I was hoping it would get easier.

Im obese; diagnosed with T2 diabetes early December, so decided to lose weight. Lost 14kg so far, but oh my goodness, I still find it hard. Walk 10k steps a day now; but I still have to put effort in to make myself do it (can be found at 11pm on the treadmill making the steps up)

I used to cycle to work daily, 100m of cycling a week that was part of my daily routine, since Covid I've worked from home and got fat, one day I'll get an office job again!

I don't know whether it has to be as full on as many pp find, not that exercising and eating well daily isn't good for you of course. I find when I've tried this, it puts me in a 'diet' and 'good vs. bad / right v. wrong' mindset that isn't mentally healthy and definitely not maintainable.

I absolutely find it takes more work now in my 40s, and I feel the effects of not eating enough fruit and veg, and junk food - it really zaps my energy. Ditto if I don't get out the house, but being outside is part of it for me, not just the exercise.

I try and walk every day, stretch when I remember and swim twice a week though this doesn't always pan out. But for me this is mostly achievable around a busy life, and stops me falling into the 'fallen off the wagon mentality so I might as well chow down a load of cheesecake too' - which I might do if I tried and failed to get up early every day to do a workout.

Food wise I mainly cook from scratch with the odd quick dinner for life ease but have puddings a couple of times a week on average and drink a couple of times a week too, takeaways / eating out maybe once or twice a month. The main thing I've noticed that affects my energy levels now is alcohol, so I need to cut back really😭

This all keeps me at a similar weight, but I notice how easily it creeps on over Christmas, holidays, birthdays etc. Luckily it still comes off fairly easily but I have to be disiplined for this, cutting out above puddings etc.

I'm 64 and finally have the time to be fit and healthy. I run 5x a week, spin and do Pilates, but then I only work 3 days a week and it's hard enough to fit in activity only working 3 x late shifts. I don't know how the full time workers and those with kids manage at all. When my kids were young life felt like a desperate scramble just keeping on top of everything.

But I stand in living proof that it's never too late to get sorted, so don't beat yourself up, just do what you can when you can.

60 now and have always managed to stay in shape even with full time job and family.
however, exercise has always been part of our lives both for husband, me and the kids.
We just took it in turns to fit it all in but yes it does need discipline