To think that being in a good shape requires a daily effort and constant discipline

[Croissantsfordinner]

Especially when you are not in your 20s anymore.

I fell off the wagon and blame having a small DC and a FT job but I know nothing will ever change unless I make this a non negotiable priority.

AIBU to think that the only way to stay in a good shape in your 40s, when you work an office job especially, is to make it a daily "job"?

What do you do to keep healthy, fit and to generally feel good with yourself and your body?

Agree OP. My diet in my twenties and early thirties mostly consisted of sandwiches from the work canteen, chips from the pub, Pinot grigio and Marlboro. I remained the same size, if my clothes started to get a bit tight I'd lay off the chips for a week or two. Easy. But, I guess my main concern was being slim so that was the motivating factor.

Once I'd had kids and turned 40, weight has been easy to put on and harder to loose, but I do eat significantly better, drink less alcohol, exercise at least 3 times a week and feel better mentally (probably because I'm not drunk or hungover all the time). It's a juggle with the kids, work, the house, DH but it's worth it for being healthier.

It is totally another job. I have recently taken my health more seriously in my late late 40s, had slipped a couple of disks, was in significant pain for 18 months, stressful job, 2 teens 1 has ASD and needs lots of management, had so many aches and pains, needed to loose a lot of weight etc... it had all just slipped south for me, I was no one’s priority, not even my own.

Last year i decided to make a change and make myself my project. I started cutting out UPF and cooking from scratch just about everything. It’s time consuming and a faff, but it has changed my life. I also do intermittent fasting, my eating window is 1pm - 8pm. Works really well for me. If I am out out then I just ignore it, you have to live!

I also now workout 6 days a week, strength 3 days / cardio 3 days but only 30 mins a day. I get up at 6am to fit it all in but it’s totally worth it. I am in the best shape of my life, I sleep well and although I am constantly on the go I am not tired. I used to suffer terribly from mid afternoon energy dips, but now I don’t eat as much sugar, I really notice it isn’t a problem.

So long winded way of saying I agree with you, for most of us that are not genetically gifted it is just another plate to keep spinning.

You're right, it is habit. It's just something I have to do, like housework or personal hygiene. Bit of a chore at times, but I don't allow not doing it to be an option. So there I am, on holiday while the family has a lie in, up and getting my steps in, getting it out of the way before I start the day. Sadly over the last few years I've seen a few examples of older people who's lives have been made so much more difficult and unpleasant because they are heavy or weak or unfit. Where its made the difference between whether they can leave their homes or not, how much care they needed, even whether they can get up from the chair or toilet by thenselves. We can't dodge every illness or avoid all decline, but I want to give myself a fighting chance.

Watch my weight and aim for 10,000 steps a day. But if yoga. That’s it really. Never been one for the gym.

Yes its harder to stay in shape without a conscious effort. I come and go in spurts.. gym classes, good meal prep, cutting out sugery crap and alcohol. Tge more I succeed the keener I am to keep going. Its the starting off thsts hard... think holiday or big occasion you can aim for and do it on small hslf stone chunks. Join Slimming World too.

I exercise every day but that's because I enjoy it and want to, it's a pleasure, not a job.

Will also echo its habit built over the years

now if I don’t get out for a walk at the least I feel terrible

if I end up eating takeaways or out I also often feel quite bad , unsatisfied and often a grumble tum

its easy now - kids grown and retired

i always managed to fit things in - run whilst the kids in clubs , dance or yoga or weights with YouTube , classes and gyms when I had the chance , the same 5 healthy quick to cook eaten by all meals on repeat .. argh the tedium and compromise on taste

20 mins to half and hour most days most weeks should see you ok. It doesn’t need to be the hardest or world beating , just something

I aim to carry out regular exercise but it's boring! I do moderate exercise per week because I can commit to that. I think there has to be a balance of work/life/fitness and this ebbs and flows

I think, once it's a habit, it's not so much work - there isn't the 'shall I shan't I'? mental struggle - you just get your exercise shoes on and get out, or eat plenty of veg, like you clean your teeth or shower every morning.

And the effort of staying fit and healthy is NOTHING compared to the effort of living 24/7 with an overweight, weak or sluggish body!

Habit and a desire to stay fit into old age. I find 90 year olds who run and exercise inspirational.

Some days I view exercise as a necessary evil, other days I view it as the ultimate act of self-love.

I’m closer to 60 than 50, and see my peers starting to struggle with everyday movement and it scares me.

Not sure I would say weekly but it certainly requires more effort.

I have to plan out my exercise for the week otherwise all my gym slots get taken with work. I aim for 5 sessions so that might be 1 on the weekend that I need to plan around the kids activities, 2 early mornings so need to make sure OH also doesn’t want to leave the house early those days, and then 2 lunchtimes which need to be arranged around work commitments. These may actually end up being any time in the working day depending on meeting schedules.

With diet, for me it’s about make sure I have a decent stock of healthy food in and limiting the availability of snacks in the house. Meal planning helps me.

So it’s not a daily activity but more requires planning for the week ahead.

Thanks all for the comments. Just wanted to share my situation and clarify a couple of things.
I have always exercised regularly in life pre DC, usually did fitness classes x3 a week and generally enjoy them, so I am not new to fitness or sport and it's not even something I dislike, I am just struggling to fit it into my current routine with DC and work. I guess that's just up to me to make it happen but it means I have to go out in the evening and not be with the family for dinner sometimes as it's the only time of the day when I can go.

I have tried several times to work out at home and generally find it very boring and lack motivation and never stick with it. I should try and become more disciplined about it, even if it's just 20 mins a day to start with I guess - any tips on this would be welcome (yes I know all the youtube channels, I just mean I never want to do it mentally).

I walk to/from the station for 30 mins each way 3-4 times a week and I try to be out and about walking as much as I can during the weekend, unless the weather doesn't allow. But I do have an office job so the walking isn't enough to outweigh the sedentary lifestyle I have 9 hrs a day.

Food: I love eating and also cooking but having little time in my hands means I do rely on ready made meals more than I should. And we have a take away once a week more or less, usually at weekends. I don't buy or eat cakes, fizzy drinks, alcohol, chocolate etc so it's mainly a matter of eating more clean and batch cooking more I guess.

It is very tough!
I ride horses twice a week and I cycle 4 miles to work and back twice a week to help me, as I have a 2 year old getting to gym isn't easy.
I try and eat well but usually have (vegan) chocolate buttons every day 😒

Do you get a lunch break where you could exercise, OP?
I mean time and logistics wise (shower, not completely rigid work hours)?
Being able to run in my lunch hour when my kids were in nursery was all that I could manage for a while.

Don't beat yourself up though - the 4 (or so) miles walking 3 or 4 times a week should keep things ticking over until you do have more time, especially if it's a good brisk walk.

I also have never enjoyed home workouts. I tend to hit the lampshades. My exercise time is my time to get out of the house.

@rosemarble I don't have enough time to walk to the gym, exercise, walk back as that alone would be more than 1 hr, unless I only go to the gym for literally 20 mins, which I could but I might as well train at home if that's all I go for, I guess.
The only things I could do on my break are either workout at home (which I have never found real motivation to do but I think I should just do it as seems a no brainer really) or running, which I really don't like so won't stick with it.

It definitely has to become routine. I exercise 6 or 7 days a week, combination of strength & cardio. Always reach 10k steps a day through the exercise and adding on a walk if needs be. I rarely drink alcohol, I sleep well, I plan my meals and focus on protein, fruit, veg, whole foods. I batch cook at the weekend. It does take discipline to be like this every single day but for me it is worth it for how if makes me feel. I use exercise as an anti depressant so feel bad if I skip it, which helps me stay on track. This has been my lifestyle for the last 3 years or so, as children now older and I can go to classes in the evening. With little children it was much harder and I was far more tired, so never exercised that much then.

I try to stand at my desk rather than sitting all day.

I eat until I'm full.

Try to get to an ærobics class once a week.

I’ve voted YABU because staying in good shape isn’t necessarily difficult. I’m in my 40s, slim, objectively in good shape. But I don’t have time to exercise. I eat a lot of chocolate. I would love to have time to exercise and cook/prepare healthier food as I would like to be healthy, not just bothered about the shape/appearance.

At 46, it feels like Im paying into a pension - do I want a chance of a comfortable, healthy retirement?

Yes, absolutely. So I save my money & I invest in my health now.

I absolutely do consider a workout or run as work, or at least as important as work, and I put it on my jobs list.

Yes, I think so. Obviously it's different if you are retired but working with young dc I find it very hard to see friends, extended family, husband alone, have family time, facilitate dc's activities, have time with dc, bake, cook from scratch, eat together let alone fit in much exercise!

As a first step I would make sure your NHS boxes are ticked, It sounds like for now it is strength that is missing?

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/physical-activity-guidelines-for-adults-aged-19-to-64/

If so I would tackle that - if you have done Pilates before, that could be two home workouts a week (I think if a beginner you prob need in person), box ticked. You could pay for eg Lottie Murphy paid channel - she has loads and paying a bit for something with structure, focus and challenges may make you more likely to commit than the thousands randomly on youtube?. Likewise, I subscribed to Les Mills at home in the pandemic and they have weekly plans and challenges and so on, so perhaps easier to commit. You can also pay for programmes from trainers - again you would want to know what you were doing if flying solo.

Or see if you can commit to one f2f strength based class (cd be Pilates, cd be weights, cd be small group park sessions etc etc - but with a real strength focus) at the weekend, as a start? Two would be better in a week but needs must.

Given your limited time, I would be brutally clear about what it is you are missing and how to achieve it to meet the NHS baseline/your immediate health needs and start there. You can always build up if and when you have more time and flex.

I have to add to my post that I have a very active dog. So my five mile run each day is a necessity just to keep the dog quiet. I find if there's an imperative (like needing to exercise the dog), it makes it easier to get out, because even if it's raining or sleeting the dog still has to go out. So it means I can't give myself the excuse of 'oh, I'll wait until the weather improves' (which would mean going out about twice a year). She HAS to go out, so I HAVE to go out.

Which is probably why people use running to the office or walking to the shops as their imperative. It can't be avoided, so it's built-in exercise.

Yes to it being a constant effort.

I'm sedentary which means eating less than most people would like and very little junk food.

A typical week would see me skip breakfast half the time and eating lunches and dinners like jacket potato and beans, the fabled mumsnet massive salad, bread and butter, overnight oats, curry without rice or naan, soup, stir fry, noodle bowls, tapas.

I do have a milky coffee and chocolate every day, but like pp, usually just a bag of buttons. Takeaways only a couple of times a year.

I don't eat meat or dairy and I eat minimal upf. I also eat high quality stuff which I think helps a lot e.g. a posh olive bread roll with butter, not a torn up bap from a cellophane packet, so the actual nutrient density and flavour helps me feel satisfied .ore than the volume iyswim.

I have now started going to the gym to maintain muscle mass as I'm just hitting 40 and need to keep on top of that.

It's not easy, no, and it annoys me when people say I'm lucky to be slim. I'm not lucky- it's constant effort! I used to be big 20 years ago so it raises my hackles a bit because I feel like it undermines the effort. That said, it's worth it to me because it's not just about fitting into jeans, I want healthy knees and lungs for hiking when I retire and so I'm now more focused on doing the work that will help me in 20 years time. I wish 20 year old me had done the same!

I'm just 60 (sob) but have managed to stay pretty healthy and a good weight, but it does mean trying to exercise a bit and watching what I eat fairly relentlessly, and not drinking much alcohol.

What you have to do op is to have exercise in your schedule and work Around that. Not try and shoehorn the exercise into your schedule. Sometimes that means setting an alarm much earlier (and trust me I’m no lark!) or getting up and out in the evening because that just what you do.

I hear you though. It’s hard.

im 57 btw, work FT and go To the gym 5-6 times a week (cardio / strength / classes).