To be deeply offended by being referred to as poisonous

[Suxapril]

Will save you all the long story.

SIL and I do not get on. At all. First time she ever met me she told me she has never liked any of DP’s gf’s. Knew then what I was working with and suffered her batshittery for years before eventually going NC last year.

Latest rant in which she messaged DP calling me poison and poisonous.

Of all the things she has said over the years, this actually stings a bit. I’m actually annoyed that it does as I like to think of her the least amount of time.

Is it as bad as I feel?

You dislike each other, why would you expect her to say anything other than negative things?

when faced with this type of behaviour, I resort to the good old fashioned childish retort ‘well it takes one to know one’ 😁

Or, ‘thank you’ 😁

I'd be upset to be called that too, it is such a nasty attack on your character.

"Latest rant in which she messaged DP calling me poison and poisonous"

My question is why is your DH allowing this behaviour to continue? Why is he still taking calls where she rants and insults his wife? It's up to your DH to shut her down - how has he responded to this?

And yanbu that's pretty nasty but equally she sounds like she doesn't really know you on a personal level for her words to hold any weight.

Neither of you are the victim here. You just don’t like each other. I bet you have given as good as you have gotten.

He is very low contact but she often just sends a tirade of nonsense. This started with her asking a favour to which DP said no and left it there and she launched this tirade of how he is being poisoned by me, this was ignored, so she just kept following up with how awful I am, how sorry she feels for him, how I am poisonous and she knows he is desperately unhappy with me 🙄

Tbh, I bowed out pretty gracefully of our contact and I think that’s half of the issue, she hates the fact she has lost control over her ‘queen bee’ status in the family as she knows I won’t tolerate her crap like other do for ‘a quiet life’

Is it as bad as I feel?

No-one here can really answer that.

There's two sides to every story and you two just don't get along so I wouldn't give her opinion of you another thought.

Totally understandable to be offended. Given how awful she is though, maybe you should view it as a compliment. You’re clearly under skin. Let her wind herself up into a fury while you ignore her.

Why is your DP telling you what she's saying? I'd be asking him to keep it to himself. If he doesn't believe her it doesn't need to be discussed beyond a basic mention that she's at it again.

How would you know that?

I am not really sure, I think he thinks he is being transparent with it all. I also think he feels sorry for her in some ways. She is alone with no children (she is 48 now). He always said he would never cut her off completely because he is his sister and has always been like this. But I have asked him not to tell me if she continues to text

Let her. Don't let her words have power over you. They don't mean a thing. It's an opinion, not a fact. You sound like the sort of person who is only interested in facts.
In any case, is 'poisonous' really the best insult she can come up with? It's hardly original. I'm sure you could come up with something much better, even if you just keep it to yourself!

Latest rant in which she messaged DP calling me poison and poisonous.

What was the rant about?

A Father Jack style thank you!

OP I hope your DH stuck up for you

Why is your husband relaying her messages? What's wrong with him?

She asked a favour DP said no, I am the reason everything is terrible in the world (in a nutshell)

God knows. I think he hopes that she may see she is in the wrong some day, but he does also ignore her at times.

You need to leave the pair of them to it and remind your DH that as you've gone NC with her, you don't want to hear about her or her rants.

Why is he shit stirring OP? Why is he telling you what she's saying behind your back and why is he encouraging her? Is he getting off on the drama?

Who cares? She’s a nutcase. Who you’re letting get to you. She’s winning her stupid pointless war

Just let her go and don't take it to heart. Let your DH deal with her (and he should be shutting down this nonsense).

I do like the suggestion of saying 'thank you' though. haha

You need to get him to stick up for you a bit more… “Sister, please don’t say things like that to me about my wife. I don’t want to hear it. Next time you say something like that I’ll be blocking your number.”

Agree he needs to take this stance. He is a big part of the problem here. Why is he feeling sorry for her, when she seems to enjoy spewing bile and pushing people away? Where is his sympathy and empathy for you? I would be making it clear I don't want to hear a single word about her. Ever again. Otherwise what's the point of going NC with her?