to bloody well hate the fact I’ve been lumbered with effectively two shifts

[qrs]

I work 8-4.

Then get the children from nursery. Then have to get them bathed and in bed.

I absolutely fucking HATE it. It’s bloody exhausting. And takes ages.

DH is quite happy working. He will swan in at half seven to children either asleep or nearly asleep.

oh and I then have to get them ready for nursery and to nursery the next day too.

What are his working hours?

Slightly more than mine. 830-530. But his commute is about 90 minutes and I do suspect he stops on the way back although I’ve no way of knowing that for sure.

What hours does he work, why does he need to be out from (I assume) at least 7am to gone 7pm every day?
Do you get a lie in on weekends?

So dh gets back and clears up the kitchen and does a little housework or the weekly shop ….

How can he participate in the nursery runs and pick ups if he’s not there though? Can he change his hours?

I obviously realise that @feathermucker … I reserve the right to be exhausted and pissed off by it though!

What time do the kids go to bed? And what time do they need to leave to be at nursery?

Can he work from home at all? Flex his shifts? Compress his hours?

Sounds like your DH needs to get a new job that’s not 90 minutes away. That’s not really a reasonable commute when you have young children and a partner who works full time.

He should want to see his children and help out with bedtime. If he is stringing his commute home out, he’s a very sad, pathetic man. Sorry OP. It just makes me sad when I rrad about these dads who just don’t seem to want to spend time with their children.