Wife did embarrassing thing in hotel, now DD is copying – WWYD?

[pbopkg]

Posting here because I genuinely don’t know how to handle this without causing WW3 with DW.

We were on a family weekend away a couple of weeks ago, staying in a nice(ish) hotel. DW has this (in my opinion) mortifying habit of calling out “Housekeeping!” in a sing-song voice before entering a room, including our own hotel room. No idea why, she thinks it’s hilarious.

Anyway, fast forward to this week and now DD (4) has started doing it CONSTANTLY. Every time she walks into a room at home, at PIL’s house, even at nursery drop-off! This morning she did it in M&S toilets when someone was actually in there, and I nearly died of embarrassment.

I gently mentioned to DW that maybe we should stop encouraging it, and she got all huffy, saying it’s just a bit of fun and I need to lighten up. But I can’t be the only one who thinks this is just Not A Thing normal people do??

AIBU to want this to stop before DD starts doing it at school? WWYD?

Oof, that’s a bit of a brutal question! Yes, I do like my wife she’s funny and a great mum. This is just one of those things that I find inexplicably cringe, and I think it bothers me more because DD is picking it up.

I do get what you mean, though if I were in a better mood, maybe I’d find it funny rather than embarrassing. And I appreciate the perspective that people wouldn’t bat an eye at a kid doing it. Maybe I need to just let this one go (but I still reserve the right to cringe when DW does it in public!)

We do this sometimes. It’s from a film - Home Alone in New York if I remember correctly - when Tim Curry’s character says it. Get a grip!! You’ve led a sheltered life of this is mortifying.

Dp sounds like a bit of an idiot but a 4 year old doing it wouldn’t bother me.

remember my dd at the same age shouting cock every time she spotted a clock. The post office was her favourite because it was a really bit cock.

Oh I like this. OP teach her to say it arselicking in a fake French accent.

Now that would be 🤣 funny.

Can I just ask OP does your wife do this at home or just hotels? At hotels we sometimes knock and say room service in a strong French accent. We like it.

I like the sound of your wife she sounds fun. Sorry OP you sound a bit stuck in the mud to me. Laugh along life’s too short to be serious all the time.

I thought it was going to be sudden uncontrolled urination or deliberately flashing the window cleaner. Saying ‘housekeeping’, not even ‘fucking housekeeping’ or ‘housekeeping you shagging bastards’ is mildly entertaining but would be hilarious in a four year old.

Well, you must be a bundle of laughs at home and on holiday.

oh I just realised it should have been arsekicking oops

I feel a bit bad for your wife, there's nothing worse than when a loved one makes you feel self-conscious about something you do or the way you say something.

Both arsekicking and arselicking have cracked me up 😂

Also - lighten up OP.

I'm struggling to understand why it's embarassing. Is this some kind of weird class thing? You don't want your wife pretending to be a "servant" or "the maid" or something?

I mean, I don't find it in the slighest bit funny, but then DH makes jokes all the time that I don't find funny. They're not embarassing though. They're just not always funny.

And if thi sis so mortifying for you I do recommend bucking up. The list of embarassing things chidlren say in public is LONG and this wouldn't even appear on the top 100000. It wouldn't surprise me if there are some threads in Classics about embarassing thing children say. I remember a friend telling me once she nearly fell through the floor when her DD, about the same age as yours, said to her (loudly, obviously) in a shop - "oooh, mum, look, that lady's bum is even more droopy than yours."

seriously?!! @pbopkg don't worry no-one is judging you 💐

I'm going to adopt this into my evening.

DS is in year 11 and I'm trying to do nice things for him. One of these is to make him a cocoa about an hour before bed.
I always knock and call out something like "incoming Mother", but I think I'll say "housekeeping" now, which is quite apt as there's usually at least a glass & mug that needs to be taken downstairs.

[Yes, he's more than capable of making cocoa and taking his cups downstairs before anyone asks.]

OP has your DD never inadvertently embarrassed you in public before?

I think the real issue here is that you find it so incredibly cringe that your wife kept doing it. When something is already annoying you to that level (and any little quips can when they are repeated so often, with the only person laughing being the person doing it) and then you find your child copying - so you hear it double as much - the grating becomes next level.

I think it’s fair enough to say “DW, I know it’s actually very harmless but it’s been really getting on my nerves hearing it so often. This isn’t a fault with you, but it’s how I’ve been feeling.”
You should also accept that everyone has levels of cringe, and this may just be your wife’s.

Your DD doing it should not be embarassing at all, and is actually quite objectively funny. Her being so young removes all the inherit cringe. Purely adorable and hilarious, in any setting.

Please encourage this at doctor's surgeries. Especially if any students are in. It would make everyone's day.

.

Teach her to say, 'Police! Stop or I'll shoot!' instead.

Ah, that makes sense! I hadn’t actually made the connection to Home Alone 2, but now you mention it, that does ring a bell. Maybe that’s where DW picked it up from in the first place.

And fair enough, “mortifying” might have been a bit strong I just have a bit of a secondhand embarrassment problem! Clearly, I need to lighten up a bit.

Same. I was envisaging your DW curling out a jobby in the sink or getting mortal on ouzo at breakfast.

Your wife would annoy me.
Once is slightly amusing ( maybe) but to do it everytime. I'd be telling her to bore off!

It is not particularly funny from your wife but I can't see it is mortifying. Even if your kid did do it at the doctors - so what ?
You must have a very low threshold for embarrassment. I thought you were going to say your wife got pissed out of her head and tried it on or insulted your boss or something and now it was the talk of your workplace - two - people one a 4 yr old saying housekeeping is nothing.

Does your wife do this for any room OP or just hotel rooms?

Because I can’t imagine why you’d do it outside of a hotel, but during a hotel stay I reckon it’s obligatory at least once. Although usually in the context that someone else is actually in the room rather than just walking into the empty room altogether.

Also obligatory (this one is most common in hotels/ on holiday but not confined to those situations) is to ask the other person if they have the key, and when they confirm ask if they also have the secret.

It probably is cringe but also so common I can’t imagine anyone being mortified by it, and it’s definitely cute and acceptable in a 4 year old.

I’d do nothing. Cos IME the quickest way to get a kid to keep on doing something that is low-grade annoying (or even nuclear-grade) is to overtly make an issue out of it. My DD ( then aged 4/5) once went round to a family member’s house and started saying all the rude words she could think of. It coincided with them sitting quietly reading their book. This was a bold move cos they’re not renowned for their GSOH. They continued to read for a while, then got up and said why don’t we do x (ie. an activity that wasn’t sitting on the couch reading/saying sketchy words). Didn’t do it again (probably cos it obtained zero reaction, and neither censure or any perceived reward, either immediately or latterly).

I think she probably did that cos she was feeling like no-one was paying her enough attention in the moment. Or maybe she just wondered what might happen. Nothing did, so no point doing it again, then. Isn’t overly given to profanity either, many years later. Phew.

It’s not quite the same but I wonder if your DD knows it bothers you. Or if your DD likes the feeling of being funny and thinks it’s funny when her mum does it and funny you don’t like it. Maybe she’s looking for a reaction. Or subconsciously asserting her right to yell housekeeping 😂 Maybe it makes her feel close to her mum. Kids do copy us, for better or worse, little sponges.

You’d be best placed to guess which it is. Either way I would put my own desire to make her stop it behind ensuring she is getting enough positive attention and is allowed to express herself freely in socially appropriate ways. Small children are wild in the mind, but ‘housekeeping!’ isn’t rude or hurting anyone (nor is it hurting her). Obviously if she was greeting strangers with ‘ello you shower of absolute cunts’ you’d need to have a think but - she’s not. Your job as a parent could actually be harder if she internalises early your anxiety about everyone judging her for little foibles. If this is the worst of it, you’ve got a cute story! Why waste these precious days with vicarious embarrassment? You might miss her little person zest for chaos one day, when she’s all big and serious and worried about exams.

I also agree this little gag is at the benign end of 4 y.o behaviour and while it’s not exactly a rib-splitter from an adult, cute from a small child. Heard much much much much worse from 4 y.os (I used to live across the road from a school) 😵‍💫

OMG @Ursulla 🙈 😂

What are sexual interiors when they're at home?. You don't get them at IKEA

Oh please do share some of the shit your kids did, to show OP just how ridiculous it is to be mortified by this obviously😁