Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

[Fstt1978]

Had an interesting experience this week after watching this at the weekend

sanctioned 4 boys this week with a demerit each - for pushing and shoving in the corridor- swearing loudly and generally being gobby to me.
All 4 boys parents have written emails to say it's unfair/ I'm picking on them etc etc. As it was 4 of them- none of them can be singled out.
We also have a boy caught on CCTV physically assaulting a much younger student unprovoked - it is categorically an assault- with the victims parents pressing charges. He has been permanently excluded and his parents have instructed a solicitor to contest this.

What is going on with parenting boys? Girls sanctioned rarely have parents like this - this is NOT a goady thread- I am genuinely really interested , and open to discussion about it

Loads of people in the UK would think that the victims "press charges" since we see that phrase used on TV. In this country the police tend to ask whether the victim wants them to pursue the matter in borderline cases or cases where there is likely to be limited evidence or in less serious cases where minors are involved - but victim consent is not the overriding factor (or in fact a factor at all) in serious cases.

Yes completely agree with the Op - IME parents will challenge EVERYTHING- so what happens is (well in my last school) many teachers just gave up giving sanctions knowing that any sanction no matter how small would result in a call / email from an irate parent (who would also only have one side of the story).
This resulted in those teachers who did follow the school policy look as though they were being extra strict.
Students had no consistency so could easily complain about their unfair treatment.
If such parents (and it is a majority) put as much effort in ensuring their DC had the right equipment / monitored HWK etc ….

I really respected the teachers in Adolescence - I thought it showed how amazing they were for facing all that every day, how compassionate they were, and how the first year new teacher was being understandably broken down immediately by it.

@Bringmeahigherlove I think you’re right about toxic masculinity and I say this as someone without DC in state schools anymore. The 80/20 line in the series sent a shiver down my spine as my 13 year old DS (attends an independent school) had said it to me a few months ago... These toxic messages have not just permeated to deprived areas where DC are painted as having little hope and a justification for their anger. They’ve infiltrated the relatively privileged.

@Justapunta psychologist

Wow I hope schools aren’t like adolescence, fantastic show though and I worry about my children even more after watching it.
As the mum of 4 boys and in regards to the op I think boys are blamed more generally than girls. One of my teenage boys came home one day to say every boy in the class was sanctioned because of the behaviour of a few, but none of the girls were. He has never forgotten it and is still upset about it (he hates anything he sees as unjust).
There’s not as much guilt by association with girls as there is with boys.
Boys tend to be more physically aggressive and more reactive in protection of themselves. I don’t think girls fear eachother as much physically and so their aggressions are much more subtle and less likely to get them in trouble.
Boys ime are also less likely to defend themselves to a teacher but will to their parents, so then the parent takes it on (or doesn’t)

Was she bullying him? I felt she was calling him out on the fact that because she’d been “porn shamed” by having her topless photos shared and ridiculed he thought she’d be grateful that he was interested in her.

I haven't watched it yet but as DS is about to turn 13 I will be. I do however recognise some of the descriptions here of parents attitude to school and the teachers. On the school FB group there's a long chat about the criteria of being eligible for prom. Putting aside whether you think prom should be used as a reward, so many parents cannot comprehend kids having to behave to get an invitation.
One of the criteria is no more than 10 behaviour points and no more than 10 late marks in the HALF term leading up to the invitations being sent. There are loads of parents saying how ridiculous that is as their kid can't possibly be expected to not get more than 2 behaviour points a week, and be on time every day. For context DS has had 2 this year, which is similar to most of his friends and they're a fairly average bunch of kids.
Is it really too much to expect kids to behave for a half term?
There are daily complaints and parents saying they're not letting their kids go to corrections, or they call on to dispute every behaviour point. There seems to be no sense at all that actions have consequences.

I work in Primary and it's the same there. If kids are sanctioned then parents complain. They believe everything their child says and believe they can do no wrong!

Yes this is what I meant

Not seen this, but have heard about it.

I think the problem is that some schools have very nonsensical rules for the sake of it. They are not based about being a respectful human being but making life easier for teachers (which I get as it is a fucking difficult job) and blanket rules. It's no wonder that makes the kids not see context in situations and be vulnerable to more dualistic views. A fair number of MNetters on here are the same, can't see any complexity in a situation because it is either 100% right or wrong. I agree that parents are a bit gullible and believe their child too much too though.

I am not in teaching but when my son was at school we always backed the school up in front of my son, a bit like you do with your partner/dh in front of the kids! I didn't always agree with the school and over the years had many a private conversation, but as far as my son was concerned, at home we made the rules, at school they made the rules and he was expected to follow them. If he didn't there were consequences. He has some specific learning difficulties, but he was never allowed to use that as an excuse to not do/do something he should not.

I also think that a lot of boys in particular do not have a positive male influence around them. Which means they look elsewhere for that male influence and then because their brains are not developed enough to choose the right things they go off the wrong way.

The other thing I see, is that a segment of parents seem to rely on the school to teach their kids everything. You see it in primary (predominantly female teachers) where 4/5 year olds are still in nappies, can't use a knife and fork, don't know how to interact appropriately with other kids or adults, parents expect the teachers to do all the sex ed talk, teach them about money, dangers of the internet, teach them how to cook. It's never ending.

Parents are failing to parent to their kids. Let's face it, it's hard work raising children and some parents opt out very early. Children like and feel safe with rules and boundaries, but they are hard to maintain so for some people it's easier not to bother and those kids are the disaffected ones, who have learned they just need to shout a bit louder and longer to get their own way. That then means they are easy pickings for lots of bad influences either in person or online.

There will always be an element of some kids are just bad, but parents need to take the blame as well, for not setting and keeping fair boundaries, not teaching their kids right from wrong, not making sure they have positive influences in their lives. If we could somehow sort that out, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Has anybody seen Gareth Southgate’s Dimbleby lecture?
Its on the iPlayer and you can read the full text on the BBCnews pages.

It’s really pertinent at this time. He talks about boys needing positive role models that support them to deal with failure.

Amongst lots of stuff, he says “ if we make life too easy for young boys now….we make life harder when they grow up to be young men.”

As someone who has worked in schools for over 30years, I feel this is the thing we’re all (parents and educators) missing.

I’m not saying children with additional needs shouldn’t be supported. I’m not saying children should be “left to it” to deal with difficult situation. But I do think we’re so worried about children not feeling negative emotions that we protect them from failure, losing sight of its role in building resilience and grit.

In my part of Scotland, it's been a long time since we were allowed to suspend a pupil for swearing at a teacher. Permanent exclusions don't exist at all - the best we can manage is a whole-school transfer to another school in the area.
Temporary exclusions are brief - not even a school week.

Most schools in the area no longer allow even a brief written punishment; instead, teachers are expected to hold a "brief restorative conversation" - whilst simultaneously looking after the rest of the class.

I believe that schools in England are still allowed to use traditional sanctions, but I do see Education Twitter/X complaining that "restorative justice" is being used more and more in England and Wales. (It first reared its head in Scotland in the noughties.)

Or maybe some parents have found their voices. The bullying was rife in my school growing up and teachers gave zero fucks (I could tell you some shocking stories including about a particular pupil who was suicidal and got into trouble for being bullied. The teacher in charge is now HofS). Now my son is experiencing bullying and his school haven’t been supportive. But the other nearby school has a worse reputation for bullying with a lot of distressed kids and parents.

This isn’t a ‘it’s all the parents fault’ problem as teachers love to rattle off. It’s not the ‘it’s all the teachers fault’ either, we need an educational reform. But bullying and behaviour is a big problem in this country and both the parents and schools are at fault in my experience, with governing bodies and the government as less than useless.

I don't work in a school, but don work with children (8-13yo). The parents are usually quite caring and involved... would class themselves as good parents.

Many have no idea what their children do online. That bit about thinking the boy was safe in his bedroom with his computer? Definitely true. Many of my 8/9yos have their own smartphones.

My DDs school sent out an information sheet on the manosphere etc last year. They were definitely taking seriously as it came by post. I admit I hadn't fully realised how much it was affecting early Secondary children

In our school, staff have been called 'c*nts' to their face and its been a 20 minute break time detention

I don't recognise any of this but mine are in private school. The children are definitely better behaved (have plenty of friends with kids in state and some of the stories curl my hair). We've put 4 dc's through private school and only two of them ever had a detention for not handing in homework on time which they attended no question and got a bollocking from us.

Move to private OP?

I left teaching two years ago.

we didn’t use videos or tapes much in the classroom (although I suppose foreign languages probably did) but in terms of the behaviour it was spot on.

Jamie rang very true to me. I’ve taught many many kids like him.

A few years back, I lost an excellent teacher who was doing us a favour by agreeing to work part-time.

She was conducting an exam board internal assessment. A boy kept interrupting by asking for help. As he well knew, he wasn't allowed help for that assessment - but he kept interrupting.

The teacher implemented the then allowed sanction procedure: warning, final warning, p ex.

The boy's mum phoned in to complain: she had told her son that he should always ask for help; he'd been off the previous week. (The test was an unseen textual analysis and he'd already had all the prep for it.)

Of course, the parent's main concern was that a p ex meant that the boy couldn't go on the end-of-term reward day out.

The SLT rescinded the punishment. My teacher resigned.

that teachers just whack a video on and hope for the best>

As a mother of boys that was never my experience of primary at all!
Firstly it’s proven that boys demand more of the teachers time in class. Secondly young children all need nurturing in the same way, regardless of sex. Lots of play, lots of time spent outdoors, creative lessons where they can grow and apply their knowledge at the rate that suits them and kind teachers.
Maybe my kids primary was exceptional but I thought it was wonderful.
High school nearly broke them ( one in particular) and yes the culture of boys and girls being vile to each other and probably teachers was rife. My kids had the odd detention (not for anything really serious) and my reaction was always “ don’t do it again” and if they protested innocence that old standby “life’s not always fair” . I would only have intervened if there was genuine bullying from a teacher.
Im glad high school is over now though.

@Justapunta

"secondary private school

very little in her experience resonated with adolescence. She has taught at two private schools only"

🤔go figure?

I don’t believe it is just parents that are the issue. I feel this has developed over a period of time. People now complain about anything and everything, nothing is ever their fault anymore.
You go out for a meal and don’t enjoy it?
Past - chalk it up to a bad experience and not return
Present - let’s complain, demand a refund and spread it over social media.

Teacher gives you detention?
Past - what did you do? Clipped ear
Present - lets phone and complain to the school

Only need to read papers/social media and certain threads on here to see the lack of respect for the police or any authority for that matter.

A child has behaviour issues? Can’t possibly be the bottle of prime/greggs sausage roll they had for breakfast. Can’t possibly be because I shout and swear at my children? No way is it because there are no consequences for their behaviour at home. Let’s now seek a diagnosis to excuse this as it can’t possibly be anything I have done or am doing.

The whole world is essentially screwed because nobody will stand up for what is right anymore for fear of bad publicity or complaints.

Adolescence was brilliant. It was harrowing and showed that anyone, even those least expected can be caught up in today’s knife culture.

I’m not a teacher,you will get posters saying it not the case in their schools,depends entirely what area you are from,it will happen in more deprived areas,although I have know the middle class/rich boys be far worse.