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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

518 replies

Fstt1978 · 19/03/2025 14:47

Had an interesting experience this week after watching this at the weekend

sanctioned 4 boys this week with a demerit each - for pushing and shoving in the corridor- swearing loudly and generally being gobby to me.
All 4 boys parents have written emails to say it's unfair/ I'm picking on them etc etc. As it was 4 of them- none of them can be singled out.
We also have a boy caught on CCTV physically assaulting a much younger student unprovoked - it is categorically an assault- with the victims parents pressing charges. He has been permanently excluded and his parents have instructed a solicitor to contest this.

What is going on with parenting boys? Girls sanctioned rarely have parents like this - this is NOT a goady thread- I am genuinely really interested , and open to discussion about it

OP posts:
Dolphinnoises · 19/03/2025 14:49

I really must watch Adolescence.

Aren’t you asking the wrong people? Teachers will know no more than you about what makes these sorts of parents tick. You would be better off asking mums of boys surely?

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:49

My sister is a teacher at my children’s’ secondary private school (with children there herself) said very very little in her experience resonated with adolescence. She has taught at two private schools only

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:50

It’s not a “goady thread” op

it is a bizarre non sensical one

marsaline · 19/03/2025 14:52

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:49

My sister is a teacher at my children’s’ secondary private school (with children there herself) said very very little in her experience resonated with adolescence. She has taught at two private schools only

Interesting. My sister is a teacher and head of year at a state comprehensive and said it was one of the best and most accurate portrayals of a state comprehensive she's ever seen on TV

Fstt1978 · 19/03/2025 14:54

Dolphinnoises · 19/03/2025 14:49

I really must watch Adolescence.

Aren’t you asking the wrong people? Teachers will know no more than you about what makes these sorts of parents tick. You would be better off asking mums of boys surely?

yes possibly- there may be an overlap I guess

OP posts:
Fstt1978 · 19/03/2025 14:55

marsaline · 19/03/2025 14:52

Interesting. My sister is a teacher and head of year at a state comprehensive and said it was one of the best and most accurate portrayals of a state comprehensive she's ever seen on TV

it was a bit more rough and shouty than mine but not dissimilar

OP posts:
Fstt1978 · 19/03/2025 14:55

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:50

It’s not a “goady thread” op

it is a bizarre non sensical one

No worries, if it doesn't make sense to you, dont engage

OP posts:
Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:56

marsaline · 19/03/2025 14:52

Interesting. My sister is a teacher and head of year at a state comprehensive and said it was one of the best and most accurate portrayals of a state comprehensive she's ever seen on TV

Depressing

stanleypops66 · 19/03/2025 14:56

I have been in a lot of secondary schools at different times of the day and I didn’t recognise how it was portrayed. I’ve also done countless observations in classrooms and none of it resonated. I’ve seen the odd young person being verbally and physically aggressive but this was in alternative provisions/ special schools.

Phunkychicken · 19/03/2025 14:58

DS is 16 and watched it last night - this morning said it was the most realistic school he's ever seen on TV. He's at an academy (in Croydon), bright but weekly detentions for talking/being in wrong place/not doing homework etc and rarely get involved with trying to get him out of them. Actions have consequences.

I can't bear to watch it as I'm of a fragile disposition, but think it's great that the DCs are and love the discussions it's triggering.

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 14:59

stanleypops66 · 19/03/2025 14:56

I have been in a lot of secondary schools at different times of the day and I didn’t recognise how it was portrayed. I’ve also done countless observations in classrooms and none of it resonated. I’ve seen the odd young person being verbally and physically aggressive but this was in alternative provisions/ special schools.

What is your position out of interest?

T34ch3r · 19/03/2025 15:00

I left teaching for the usual reasons…

I started watching it with my Y11 last night, but we’re only about 30 minutes in, so I haven’t seen the school scenes yet. I taught in comprehensives in deprived areas, so it will be interesting to compare.

Following to come back later.

GarlicStyle · 19/03/2025 15:00

Surely the big point about Adolescence was that none of the adults had detailed insight into the 'manosphere' and its influence on boys. It wasn't just the emoji codes and catchphrases; it's the entire, vicious philosophy and the fact that it is deliberately targeted at teenage boys.

The drama naturally explored - very lightly - some of the family and social dynamics that might render some boys more vulnerable to it than others, but that's conjecture. There's no evidence that kids from one demographic are more easily radicalised than others.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 19/03/2025 15:01

That hasn't been my experience - equal numbers of girls' parents making excuses for them and saying it's not fair - but I can't speak for this situation

Fstt1978 · 19/03/2025 15:02

Actions have consequences
This is going in schools- we give out our rules and school contract, then parents still insist their child gets several chances AFTER that

OP posts:
Justapunta · 19/03/2025 15:04

Do you enjoy your job op?

ILikeCheeseandBiscuits · 19/03/2025 15:04

I have a few teenagers in different schools, and I felt it was quite accurate, particularly with the schools that are in more deprived areas. Lots of shouty teachers and students who just don’t care.

Fair enough, not all teachers and students are like that, but many are. There is a lot of pressure put on kids to behave by teachers, but then a lot pressure from other students to be cool and have girlfriends. And many of the parents believe their kids can do no wrong and they are being persecuted by their teachers.

Iloveagoodnap · 19/03/2025 15:05

I don’t think it is just boys’ mums. I know a fair few girls’ mums who won’t believe that their little angels are capable of bullying or misbehaving. But generally girls don’t get into physical fights as much as boys.

I think parents, and society as a whole, are becoming more entitled. Plus it’s easier for them now to communicate with the school. In the past they would have to phone the school to argue against punishments and lots of people don’t like talking on the phone. It’s easy to email. Maybe schools should be stricter on how and when parents can contact them.

Phunkychicken · 19/03/2025 15:05

I know it is - I frequently speak to HoY etc about DS and am aware that they feel constantly undermined. I did draw the line that kids must spend all lesson with their hands on the desks ('active listening') sat up straight and any infringement was an automatic detention. For a kid with scoliosis and ADHD it's torture

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 19/03/2025 15:05

marsaline · 19/03/2025 14:52

Interesting. My sister is a teacher and head of year at a state comprehensive and said it was one of the best and most accurate portrayals of a state comprehensive she's ever seen on TV

My friend who is a comprehensive teacher said the exact same thing. She is recommending it to everyone

B1indEye · 19/03/2025 15:11

You mention pressing charges in your OP so I'm guessing you're maybe not in the UK so a different culture, my children's state school isn't like the one portrayed but it couldn't be further from an inner city large secondary (state school), I think we are lucky in that regardand it will probably catch up in time

Justapunta · 19/03/2025 15:12

it is categorically an assault- with the victims parents pressing charges.

Presumably you’re not in the UK OP

WearyAuldWumman · 19/03/2025 15:12

I was in two minds about watching, but shall now have a look at it.

I retired from my permanent post about 7 years ago. I was in middle management, so much of my time was taken up with dealing with discipline.

By the time I quit my job, it had become noticeable that more and more parents absolutely refused to accept their children had done wrong: it was the fault of school staff; staff were lying/picking on their child; the child had a difficulty which explained and/or excused their behaviour.

I recall one child who obsessively used some kind of portable computer game. When told to put it away, he'd angrily assert that he was allowed to use it because of his ADHD. I think that that translated into his parent giving in for a quiet life.

I found out that the boy had shoved another child against a wall in Woodwork and had held a screwdriver against their throat. There was no suspension.

I keep expecting to see his name in the paper some day.

Latterly, parents and their children would claim that we had to be more understanding because the children had "behavioural issues" as if this were some kind of professional diagnosis.

I had one boy in S3/Y10 who swore at me every single day that he was in my class. It turned out that he was a free transfer [managed whole school transfer] from our neighbouring school.

He'd been in the habit of beating up other children. One day, a boy two years younger had been successful in defending himself. According to the bully's parents, their son was the victim...so he landed in my class.

it was clear that he was dismayed to find himself in a position where a woman had authority over him. Normal strategies didn't work. In the end, I resigned myself to calling for a duty manager any day the boy attended my class. It didn't make me popular with the SLT, but I reasoned that I wasn't going to tolerate being sworn at by a teenager.

SLT: "Was he actually swearing at you? Were you meant to hear it? Maybe he said it while he was walking away?"

Teacher too old to care: "Yes, he was swearing at me. I told him to take a time out. [Our classrooms had windows open to the corridor, so you could give a 2 minute time-out whilst still observing the pupil.] He was yelling 'Fucking bitch!' whilst banging on the window and threatening me."

He was still at the school when I went back on supply. By then, he was on a reduced timetable, agreed with the parents. (I'm not sure whether that happens in England. It seems to be happening more and more in Scotland. The school can't cope; the parents won't back the school, but they'll agree to a reduction in the child's time in school.)

Liondoesntsleepatnight · 19/03/2025 15:14

The parents of both girls and boys that I know expect far less from the boys. Less discipline and more “he wouldn’t do that” attitude.

ScreamingFrog · 19/03/2025 15:16

Recently left teaching after 18 years, I’m only up to episode two so no idea what’s to come, but the second episode is the most accurate portrayal of a school I have seen.

Took a pay cut to leave the profession, and work longer hours but so much happier.