Teachers who have watched 'Adolescence'- what are your thoughts?

[Fstt1978]

Had an interesting experience this week after watching this at the weekend

sanctioned 4 boys this week with a demerit each - for pushing and shoving in the corridor- swearing loudly and generally being gobby to me.
All 4 boys parents have written emails to say it's unfair/ I'm picking on them etc etc. As it was 4 of them- none of them can be singled out.
We also have a boy caught on CCTV physically assaulting a much younger student unprovoked - it is categorically an assault- with the victims parents pressing charges. He has been permanently excluded and his parents have instructed a solicitor to contest this.

What is going on with parenting boys? Girls sanctioned rarely have parents like this - this is NOT a goady thread- I am genuinely really interested , and open to discussion about it

I think that is rubbish, education is extremely important for boys as well as girls, the problem for the boys is not that they should be hunting and gathering, the problem is that too many fall behind and are not given enough help to succeed. And their response is to become aggressive and antisocial and that makes it harder to help them, and because they are met with endless punishments and demerits rather than being helped.

The boys who are good at academic work are the boys who have been taught the skills, had access to a wide knowledge, and given all the help they need until they can fly on their own. I see boys in DC's class and I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I could spend some time teaching them learning skills and help them catch up, they would be motivated and their behaviour would improve. And if I could wave a magic wand and get them off screens and get them away from easy access to porn and other disgusting internet content all the better.

Teens need structure and activity and high expectations matched by help where they need it.

No they weren't, there anecdotal observations, again, it's the truth as I observed it but admittedly a sample size that is anecdata.

And your language was atrocious. You can respond without using the F word as every other word!

i completely agree with you. DC is similar and he has commented on negative treatment of boys compared to girls since he was around five - as you say, constant negative language. And I agree also about the completely pointless demotivating punishments - the child asleep you mention should be getting extra help either with tuition or motivation or self confidence.

Your observation is that mothers of children who go to independent school don’t work and just sit at home having treatments and plastic surgery. And you think that isn’t misogynistic and offensive?

You’re wrong.

The thing is, sincerity politics is out of fashion, ideals are out of fashion and are dismissed as 'woke'. If more parents had those ideals I think society would look very different but they can't really be disagreeing too much can they if their off spring are spouting this nonsense.

No, you've deliberately misconstrued my post so I'll start again. People have suggested on the thread that this doesn't exist in private schools, I think that is deluded based on my anecdata where the values of the house were the man earns the big bucks and the women stay at home, and receive treatments. The messaging in these cases has been very much sexist and it is not a surprise that their offspring think the same about women. I said some, I said it was anecdata. Don't acknowledge it but what is the point of denying it, how does that help discussions about a societal problem.

It’s two different issues. The behaviour shown in the school is highly unlikely to be seen at a private school since they tend to be strict on discipline and have fewer disruptive kids since they simply get asked to leave.

The societal issues with social media/andrew Tate/alpha males and incels are seen in teens in general wherever they go to school.

Your comments about mothers of private school kids not working and sitting at home getting plastic surgery remain misogynistic.

I agree with what you say to an extent but I disagree with your assertion that my opinion is ‘rubbish’. School is NOT for everyone. It’s a one size fits all system which pits everyone against everyone else. Yes education is important but what is education? Who says it should all be academic and sedentary. We’ve defined education into a very specific box and told those that don’t fit that mould they’re failures.

Many boys/males need to be using their bodies not their academic ability all day every day.

I am by the way a primary school teacher and have seen it over and over how school is a terrible fit for so many, especially boys.

Again, don't know why you keep misinterpreting what I stated. It is anecdata, these Mums did have that family dynamic and did enjoy their treatments. I don't say All private school mums as WELL YOU KNOW! What's isn't true is that private school children do not sign up to these ideologies, that just isn't true.

So it's not seen in the school, so what, so they have the agreed with the manosphere ideology behind closed doors- that's alright then isn't it as long as they are well behaved in school🙄

I didn’t say it isn’t seen in private schools. I said the exact opposite, that it affects all teens wherever they go to school.

i said the general bad behaviour portrayed on the tv show is not what you would see in most private schools because disciplinary standards are high and disruptive children get asked to leave.

im not going to continue to discuss the private schools mothers just get plastic surgery bollocks

If you trust a school and it’s staff to have care of your children if seems pretty unreasonable to have an opinion on something which happened at school which you didn’t see! I have had my kids come home and complain about an “unfair detention”. My advice has always been to said child -seek out the teacher/send a note to their pigeon hole or arrange a meeting with them to explain their concerns about why they have been unfairly treated. Undermining teachers only adds to pupils misbehaving in my opinion.

She probably means press charges.

I worked in a primary school (rural, mixed intake) and I have to agree.

It is marked that classes where the parents are mostly supportive of the school and the staff, and are prepared to draw boundaries for their DC themselves, are much, much 'easier' (easier to control, easier to teach, easier to have fun with because they don't behave idiotically, easier to discipline) than the ones where several parents are prone to arriving like avenging angels whenever their kid gets sanctioned.
'He never done it.'
'He's got ADHD, he's just not got a diagnosis yet.'
'She can't help it, her dad walked out.'
'It's her anxiety, that's why she hit her.'
'His needs aren't being met by the school' (child with no EHCP getting at least an hour of 1:1 TA time a day; decided he didn't like the TA; mother put in a complaint against the TA, caused the TA a term of needless stress.)

Some parents were and still are a constant drain on SLT and teacher time. And, as I always say on thread like this, I'm NOT having a go at the parents of DC with genuine issues who fight to get them EHCPs and support them every step of the way. Some parents are legitimately terrible: over-indulgent; willing to excuse any poor behaviour rather than consider if perhaps their own behaviour contributed in some way, or if they could make an effort to help to resolve it; do what they want rather than considering their DCs' needs for security and stability.

Some of them seem to be actively destroying their DC's life chances, so yes, I do wonder how that is going to effect the local secondary schools, as well as the poor bloody DC themselves, when they're in Y11.

Yes. He just said he “doesn’t know”, which was my worry. If it had been that he heard it somewhere I could have dealt with it, but not knowing suggested that it was something more ingrained in his thoughts. I could be overthinking things, but having taught so many children over the years and seeing small behaviours steadily grow into bigger things, it worries me.

Well that's good as it is really tedious how you are deliberately misunderstanding my post. I'll say it again, I never said All private school Mums. Why are your comprehension skills so poor! (That's rhetorical by the way)

Absolute rubbish.

I apologise for the word "rubbish". I think we are talking about different things in some respects. Education is about learning about various academic subjects, science, history, maths, language, literacy, culture, politics etc etc etc and this aspect of learning is sedentary. This sort of education opens minds, opens doors, fires imagination, helps children make sense of the world around them, and have more control, creates opportunities, helps with communication with others and also developing self concept and teaches skills to allow children to know their passions and follow their passions.

Though most of this is sedentary and can be complimented by time spent learning and playing sport, travelling, visiting new places.

I would agree with you that most schools don't provide this or anything like.

I don't agree that education isn't for the vast majority of boys and girls though. And I don't think any boys should just be seen as hunter gatherers.

I have worked in secondary schools and had 3 dcs go through them too and the school episode was so accurate! When the detective said" Nobody is learning anything. These are just holding pens" he was spot on.

I think % of mums having “treatments” is about equal state vs private.
just a guess, but state mums seem as concerned about appearance as private.

So casually said at the end, as if everyone has the money to privately educate their children 🙄

I went to private school. It wasn’t at all behaviourally like what was portrayed but there was still a lot of toxic masculinity and more covert bullying etc.

Laura Bates is great anti sexism activist and she has loads of resources about the manosphere and has been in lots of schools to challenge the narrative and support young men to advocate for themselves and their female peers.

Jamie could have been any child, that’s the point. Yes some situations make it more likely than others but no child is immune from negative influence.

I agree I was shocked at 13yo children out late at night, but they explained the parents were working, and at 15 I was out late in London despite being from Surrey as we went to gigs, even on weeknights and the rule that was so long as we made it to school the next day it was fine. My parents trusted me and that worked, so it’s a hard balance between allowing their freedom and chance to be out there on their own whilst maintaining safety. It’s not easy as parent, or I’m sure as a teacher, to know what is right in each situation. There are deep societal issues at play. Misogyny was just as rife when I was at school but there wasn’t such influence of social media.

What, you think that Harley Street is a common choice amongst state school Mums? I'm referencing a particular set of people I have encountered.

Wow. You’re pleasant.

It's a factual observation, it doesn't have an emotion attached to it. In the context of this discussion where people are deluded if they think private school is a sanctuary for equality!

However, like others on here you probably aren't interested in the actual discussion, just deflect and pull out of context! What are you opinions on the thread title again, I missed what you thought as I can't see any other posts from you?🙄

Only if they're barely adequate males to start with. Dh is my equal in every way, although I earn more. He's never felt emasculated by equality. He's a cracking role model for ds and for both dc in terms of what a relationship should look like.