To not want my grandkids to come over because they make me ill?

[MrsSlocombesCat]

I hate being ill, I have a son with ASD who depends on me. I also have a problem with alcohol.I have been really good at not drinking since the old new year resolution but I have my two grandchildren over once a week and just lately I have gone down with a cold after every visit. I feel privileged to have this, my son, their dad, moved to Scotland and these visits are precious to me. In the last few weeks I have caught something from them every time they visit. Last winter I caught a cold and ended up with pneumonia. When I feel ill I end up drinking which isn't ideal. For my own good it would be better if I didn't see them which would be really hard. I have asked them not to come if they have a cold but they just try to conceal it. Any advice appreciated.

It's funny because it's only happened in recent weeks, all through winter I was fine until then. Actually I was drinking regularly throughout that time! It's only since I stopped that I have been catching the colds.
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OP you are lying to yourself and to us. The problem is not your family it is you and your addiction

Dont know why people are suggesting young kids arent full of germs, I have them and we are constantly sick. Kids who go to school or nursery, especially younger ones are constantly sick, me and my mum friends talk about how rough this winter has been- me and baby were sick from nov to feb, got 3 weeks off and now have a V&D bug, it's horrible.

That being said you cant blame the drinking on you having a cold, I cant imagine anything worse than drinking when sick.

Just tell them you arent well

You’re making excuses to drink OP. Having a cold doesn’t make people with a healthy attitude to alcohol start drinking.

I'm surprised your son and wife/partner want their children anywhere near someone with an alcohol problem.

They do get ill. My toddler gets a new bug most weeks, but even with the liberal application if sneezes and coughs directly into my mouth, food and whatever I still don't catch all of it and it's usually a mild head cold. Don't get me wrong there are some stinkers in there but they're not predominant.

But OPs grandkids are 11 and 13. Almost teenagers, not young kids. Well past the age of constant nursery bugs and very much capable of basic hygiene. They can use tissues, cover mouths, wash hands.

I think you have nailed it WRT the sickness. OP needs to specify not to come if they have any symptoms at all, even just feeling run down, as that may be a precursor to illness. Then apply covid rules, including ventilation and distancing. Not masks though!

Yes. And if you’re an alcoholic your grandchildren would be better off not spending time with you.

You're lucky You're allowed to see them at all being an active alcoholic. Do you drink before seeing them/ when they're around?

Wear a mask.
Wash hands frequently.

Take vitamins - your drinking might be interfering with your nutrition or absorption of nutrients.

Talk to your GP about your drinking problem. Yes, you have a problem there.
Consider whether Alcoholics Anonymous would be a good idea for you.

Are you really bothered by the grandkids' visits or do you just want to be left in peace to drink?

You are phobic about getting ill, you actually say so,so this is what needs to be addressed.
You have no evidence it was your grandchildren who made you ill.
Drinking for comfort when ill seems weird to me, surely you just feel even worse.
Drinking heavily is a huge problem, whatever time of day it is, and will further weaken your immune system making getting ill more likely

You are setting up a false protection to falling off the wagon. You believe being ill makes you drink and your DGC make you ill, ergo avoid your DGC and you won't drink. I think you will find this isn't the shield you think it will be. So my advice is to work through what really makes you drink (illness is your excuse not the cause) with support. Take vit D and C, eat well, do what excercise you're capable of, practise good hygiene and see your DGC. Your relationships with your family may be quite fragile given your alcoholism, so I think you need to protect them.