To think you should never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to?

[QuickPlayer]

People say “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” but isn’t asking something you genuinely don’t know just admitting ignorance? The smartest people seem to ask questions to test others, confirm what they suspect, or guide a conversation - not because they’re clueless.

If you have to ask, doesn’t that mean you’ve already lost the upper hand? AIBU to think that in many cases, asking questions is just exposing a weakness?

That’s not even remotely the same thing.

Possibly THE most ridiculous thing ever posted on Mumsnet.
But clearly the OP knows that, or they wouldn’t have asked.

Well you've just asked MN a question OP so are you a weak person for asking? Complete load of drivel.

What if you thought you knew the answer but you were wrong, or there is a different perspective of looking at it?

We should always be questioning everything, it is how we get improvement.

And yet you just have....

Why on earth are you opening this thread with a bloody question, then?
Following your flawed logic, you’d be revealing your inferior intellect.

<<declines to answer a question to which you already know the answer>>

Just don't waste your time playing games, it makes you come across as a nob. If you're being "strategic" to advance your own position rather than move your business/team forward then people can see that and you will lose out on other opportunities.

I agree, cause I was taught this.

I see myself as reasonably intelligent, I studied psychology then a maths/computer science masters and I am confident in asking questions when I’m not clear. Whereas I think my colleagues (who don’t have degrees, it’s a point of contention for them as I’m more senior at a younger age), feel I’m dumb for even thinking about questions.

I think you’re reading too much into this, comes across like shitty armchair psychology😬

Ultimately no one can really comment unless you give specifics ie context/question asked.

Generally, asking questions is simply a tool of communication. You go on about being strategic and perception…yet asking questions can definitely fall into that - it’s not the case that not asking questions always makes you come across as better. Sometimes it’s not about the answer given but gauging how someone feels about things and what the fixed opinion is/how open that is to being changed.

I think it’s more strategic to ask all the questions, get all the information then come to a judgement about something especially if perception matters. I’m not going to risk my job over vibes and assumptions.

I started a new job recently and besides practical things I asked very few questions at the start. I listened and observed instead. Admittedly I know the job very well to start with.

What smart people do, is they find the shortest, quickest way of getting something done. That means finding the right people to help.

Intelligence isn’t measured by how much you know or how good your general knowledge is.. it’s about your capacity to learn, problem solve, understand. Intelligent people ask questions.

I see partly what OP is getting at. There are some situations where asking a question too nakedly and without care to the framing reveals your own bias and perspective. This can often be too revealing if you genuinely want to open a dialogue and find out about something. Being more careful about how you ask, or whether you ask at all, is actually a way of cleaning up your own thoughts and holding yourself back from swamping the interaction with your own partial perspective.

I still think questions are vital and I don’t only ask when I know the answer , but I try to ask in a nuanced way, presupposing the answer might be currently hidden to me because I lack a perspective they have.

For instance...

I think my husband might be taking too long over bedtimes with the kids because he just can't be arsed to hurry them up and doesn't value my sleep. I could ask "Why do you feel the need to spend ages talking with Fred in the living room at 11.45pm? Didn't you know what the hell the time was?"
Or I could say "I noticed Fred wasn't in bed until midnight, and you seemed like you were having a good chat - what was going on?" Which doesnt close it down as quickly and I can at the right moment say my piece about needing the kid to be in bed sooner, and find out if there's another reason they were talking.

Or at work - I wanted my employee to bring me a solution to something at the end of an hour meeting. I thought it well long enough to review the options and provide an answer. She didn't, instead wrote some random thing about how we should think about decision making. I wanted to ask "How do you think we can operate if you can't make a simple choice in a time efficient way, and why didnt you send me what I asked for?" But that would have put her back up massively. So instead I asked what did she want me to take from the thing she'd sent and why had she written it, etc etc. Not revealing my prejudice or letting go of my strength (I still needed the thing done) but allowing myself to be open to other views. She didn't see the thing as being as simple as I did. She was actually lacking in experience and over complicating it... but asking the questions allowed me to see that and coach her, in a more subtle way than I could have done otherwise.

Conversation isn't combat.

Asking questions because you want to know something you don't already is perfectly fine. If the person answering thinks their knowledge gives them the upper hand they're a dick.

Don't let your life be ruled by people who are so insecure that they can only acquire any self esteem from belittling others.

yabu. Who needs or wants to be seen to know everything.

Who doesn't love a zombie thread? 🙄

Exactly this.

@QuickPlayerYou’ve misunderstood.

The phrase applies to barristers cross examining in court. Because they are asking the questions for the benefit of the jury. They already know the answers.

It doesn’t apply to real life.

Think about it. It would be madness if people only asked questions they knew the answer to