To think you should never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to?

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People say “there’s no such thing as a stupid question,” but isn’t asking something you genuinely don’t know just admitting ignorance? The smartest people seem to ask questions to test others, confirm what they suspect, or guide a conversation - not because they’re clueless.

If you have to ask, doesn’t that mean you’ve already lost the upper hand? AIBU to think that in many cases, asking questions is just exposing a weakness?

A big part of my job involves asking questions that I don't know the answer to, I very often find that the people who should know the answers to those questions don't.

If I don't ask the questions, they get away with not finding out, and that is not good. There is no reason I should (or could) know the answers, btw, it's up to them to provide them.

You are assuming the other person you are talking to is less intelligent. It’s often quite obvious when someone is only saying what they think others want to hear or going along with the popular opinion etc. Trying to convince people you know something you don’t know?! without needing to ask would either make for an extremely awkward encounter or an extremely dangerous one if you were in certain job roles. If a person could genuinely pull this kind of thing off and get away with it I’d be wondering if they had a psychopathic personally.

Although, I have noticed that gen zers who have nearly entirely been brought up with social media find it much harder to have a clear opinion of their own on thing perhaps because of the pressure to appear to be perfect and effortless. If you express your own opinions they/you can be challenged and an online world of trolls makes that feel scary.

I disagree that asking questions is a sign of weakness, because imo it's a sign of both intelligence and interest in the subject matter.
If I take my dog to the vets, for example, and the vet tells me my dog has an illness, I will ask lots of questions, so that I am best prepared to deal with it. I don't concern myself with who has 'the upper hand' as my vet is the expert and I pay him for his expert knowledge. I also know, based on past experience with a very old Labrador of mine, that if required my vet will in turn consult a specialist at one of the Veterinary Colleges for a second opinion or advice when dealing with the more unusual cases. This was very reassuring to me at the time and meant my old Lab received the best possible treatment in the final months of her life.
Every day is a school day!

You sound like a highly paranoid person.

It is also important to gather other perspectives. Asking others what they would do (or what do they think you should do) or what they think is the issue or what they think are the priorities, is really important for getting more information about a situation you think you understand. Many times I've asked about priorities and been surprised when something I thought was trivial turned out to be significant to others.

I ask a lot of questions so that I have more information and can make better decisions. You could try it.

What an odd premise. I think most people ask questions because they just want an answer. If there is a section of the population that only ask questions because they are testing their opponents in a battle of wits, I think it is probably a very, very small section.

I had a boss that wasn’t bright and he used to say this. It was really embarrass watching him ask a question in a meeting that had been mentioned several times. You could see the looks of ‘was he just not listening at all? We’ve only spent an hour discussing that exact point!’

I ask questions.

I have never felt inadequate or that my intelligence is compromised. I'm sure people can tell by my voice and demeanor that I'm not daft.

But then, I'm pretty secure in myself and I'm not keen on game-playing.

Your AIBU has absolutely no resonance to me.

I'm about to start a new job.

Op, I really hope that you don't work there.

Same here, although the exception is where you don't know the answer but whatever they say will be helpful to you (e.g. with an inconsistent story you might want to say "were you lying then, or are you lying now?". But we don't do that to come across as clever, we do it because that's how you control evidence in a very niche setting.

I agree with @Fleur405, wouldn't do this in real life. If I don't know something (and have made reasonable efforts to find out myself if I don't want to waste someone's time) I will of course ask an expert. Supreme Court judges ask (genuine) questions all the time. Secretaries of State ask for information advice and clarity from those around them, even very junior people, to get the right or best answer.

If I came across someone who never asked a real question either as a tactic to get the upper hand or because they were worried about perception I would think they were a bit sneaky, or a bit dim, or possibly both.

Nobody knows everything! How else do people learn but by continually questioning their knowledge? Yes you can read, watch videos, etc. but then you need to test your understanding by discussing with and questioning people who are more expert than you.

And discussing things with junior colleagues is really helpful because they see the world so differently. Even if they agree with me I have usually discovered something I didn't know before.

Asking questions is fun and exciting. Who wouldn't want that?

No. That's the type of attitude that insecure arseholes who desperately need people to believe they're smarter than they are have.

There are certain times in the workplace - particularly when working with clients - where asking questions that you should already know the answer to comes off poorly because it demonstrates a lack of expected preparedness or attentiveness. There are also times when you should take the time to look up information that is readily available to you rather than frequently asking someone else to spend their time explaining it to you, because expecting others to continually spoon-feed you simple information that is available to you suggests you don't respect their time and aren't able or willing to problem solve or utilize resources appropriately. But that is completely different than not being willing to ask questions you don't know the answer to out of fear of losing dominance or looking weak or whatnot - the latter comes across extremely poorly and tends to result in mistakes and wasted time.

You are overthinking this. Perhaps you have watched too much television and fancy yourself an intellectual.

perhaps in a court room, police interrogation or high stakes negotiation there might be some truth in your hypothesis. However in general day to day life it simply doesn’t work.

i am going to a meeting tomorrow to discuss a project that has gone wrong. I will ask a lot of questions that I don’t know the answer to. To find out what went wrong! I will not look stupid for asking - I will look like I am establishing the facts. That is perfectly normal.

In everyday life arrogant people ask questions to test others. It's useful as all us normal, interested in learning people can see who to avoid.

The smartest people seem to ask questions to test others, confirm what they suspect, or guide a conversation - not because they’re clueless.

wot?? a person who tests others, to confirm what they suspect, or guide a conversation sound obnoxious with limited social ability and grace. the most intelligent people do ask questions.

Surely the only thing dumber than asking a question that you don't know the answer to, is asking a question that you do know the answer to 🤨 That's the purpose of a question 🤔 try looking up the meaning of the word. Hth.

Are you just talking about in work situations? I'm sure we've all sat in meetings not really understanding what the speaker has said, and wanting to ask questions but feeling a bit unsure about asking, especially if you've felt your concentration wandering at times and been thinking about what to have for dinner that night. 😆 You then run the risk of asking a question which had already been discussed and then it becomes obvious to the rest of the attendees that you weren't listening. You don't want a rep as someeone who doesn't pay attention.

Equally if you're new to an organisation and wanting to impress, it's a fine line between asking questions because you're keen to learn, and asking so many that you appear to be really lacking knowledge that it was actually assumed you already had when you took the job.

If you're talking about social situations, I wouldn't trust a person who asked me or the person I was with questions which I KNEW they knew the answer to. Nobody wants to feel like they're being put on test. My suspicions would be raised immediately as to their intentions. I just wouldn't like to have someone that disingenuous as friend.

If you don't know ask - otherwise how do you understand what you're listening to?
If you don't ask then you'll look even dafter when it becomes obvious you were pretending to understand.

Any number of times asking the question lets you see that others were equally ignorant - so you're contributing to general understanding.

If you're talking about police interviews then yes, often the police know full well what the real answer is. And yes, they will absolutely want to guide the conversation, confirm what they suspect or see if someone lies.

Your first post is just too general a question, OP. Context is everything.

But then I suspect you already know the answer to your question, and are just testing your own theory. 😂

No-one likes a know it all though.

I prefer honest people.

I judge the former but not the latter.

At this point OP just try to settle for asking the question you actually want to ask.

The danger of this line of reasoning is that people are afraid to show they don’t know something; that only clever people ask clever questions. I think we’ve all been in situations where ‘questions’ are actually carefully-posited displays of knowingness, which serve nobody except the smug inquirer.

I think most of the time a question is asked in order to find out things

Like when you posted a question on this forum

Sometimes a question may be asked where indeed you know the answer. For example - Am I still on drugs ? Or, Is this thread batshit ?