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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this selfish move

69 replies

quirkyquerty · 16/03/2025 21:13

5 yo DC was sick this evening. I took him upstairs, cleaned him up and got into bed with him to help him to fall asleep.

I then went in to my own bedroom where my DH was, and told him I was going to grab something to eat, did he want anything? DC then woke up and was sick again. I change the bedding, put a wash on, mop the floor, clean the loo and have a shower because he'd got a fair amount on me, too.

I get DC back to sleep in a different bed for now, then go to dry my hair.

DH comes up with a fancy little platter of breads and goats cheese and sliced pears for himself. I asked if he had thought to do something for me, too, to which he said no. I said I'd go and do it myself if he keeps an ear on DC, to which he replied there's no ingredients for it left, he'd used it all.

A bit later I've gone down to get a cup of tea and in the fridge - pears, goats cheese, and on the side some nice bread. When I asked DH, he said he wanted it for his lunch tomorrow, so told me it had all gone.

He can't see why it's upset me- and I'm not sure why it has upset me so much, perhaps because there's nowt else in the fridge because food delivery is first thing tomorrow, perhaps because it would never happen the other way around.

I don't think I'm selfish person, and struggle to get my head around the logic when he does things like this

OP posts:
user9632579 · 16/03/2025 21:15

YANBU. Selfish prick.
It's bad enough that you had to do all the clean ups but then he didn't make any for you then lied about it.
Arsehole.

AtlasPine · 16/03/2025 21:17

Kill him.

(I’m joking. Maybe.)

Stompythedinosaur · 16/03/2025 21:17

Totally selfish, what a nob!

Bruisername · 16/03/2025 21:17

Is this unusual for him? Because he is a twat and not a team player from this example.

dudsville · 16/03/2025 21:17

That's shockingly awful of him!

Barrenfieldoffucks · 16/03/2025 21:18

Agreed. Not doing his share, not making you any dinner, and then lying so he could have what little was left tomorrow? The icing on the cake, What did he think you were going to do for dinner?

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 16/03/2025 21:18

I hope you ate it.

quirkyquerty · 16/03/2025 21:19

Thanks, I'm on my period so quite easily feeling annoyed this weekend, but glad to have someone validate my perspective

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 16/03/2025 21:20

Eat it, go and eat it, he can fuck off and get lunch somewhere else tomorrow the fucker.

Fountains · 16/03/2025 21:20

Eat the lot, then go upstairs and suffocate him with a pillow.

quirkyquerty · 16/03/2025 21:21

@Fountains normal pillow, his fancy pillow, or kids sicky pillow?

OP posts:
shoofly · 16/03/2025 21:22

That's absolutely horrible. He's a selfish toerag. What on earth is the point of him?

farmlife2 · 16/03/2025 21:22

Very selfish and uncaring of him. Please eat it all for yourself.

user9632579 · 16/03/2025 21:23

You say you're not sure why it has upset you so much. It sounds like you're being gaslit.

WhatDidIComeInThisRoomFor · 16/03/2025 21:23

That’s astoundingly selfish of your DH. What is up with all the awful men being written about on this site? If he’s always like this OP you’d be better off leaving him - sounds like you do all the child-related work anyway. At least in your own you know what’s in the fridge and can eat what you want without some greedy selfish bastard pretending it’s all for him.

takealettermsjones · 16/03/2025 21:23

Oh my god. I'd eat the lot and I'd eat his lunch tomorrow too. Wait until he's made it, tell him there's a big helicopter outside and he must look immediately, and then steal his lunch and run.

Simbaonedaythiswillallbeyours · 16/03/2025 21:23

Eat it all in front of him, selfish wanker. He can clear up any more sicks as well.

I hope he has some redeeming features as he sounds revolting. Liar, lazy and uncaring. What a prince.

Merryoldgoat · 16/03/2025 21:23

Honestly - everything about that is awful.

Did he just sit in another room whilst your child was vomiting?

DontWantNoScrub · 16/03/2025 21:23

What a cock!

Fountains · 16/03/2025 21:24

quirkyquerty · 16/03/2025 21:21

@Fountains normal pillow, his fancy pillow, or kids sicky pillow?

Oh, I like your style. Sticky pillow, obviously.

Iloveacurry · 16/03/2025 21:24

Has he always been selfish?

Bruisername · 16/03/2025 21:25

You also say he does this regularly? Does he have any good points?

when my teen got the vomit big last year my DH and I shared it. I did the cuddling/bucket holding/sleepless night and he did the clean up! He’s not husband of the year but he does always pitch in with the kids as he should.

Lollipopsicle · 16/03/2025 21:27

Fountains · 16/03/2025 21:24

Oh, I like your style. Sticky pillow, obviously.

I second this.

calanaiscailleach · 16/03/2025 21:28

Awfully selfish behaviour. Jaw droppingly selfish Angry

Auldy · 16/03/2025 21:30

That's bad. Like really bad. If my husband did this I'd wonder if he even liked me. Honestly! A normal, loving husband would have helped to clean up the sick (actually my husband was always the one to sort out vomitty sheets because I just couldn't....I could do all the shit and pee and blood but unless we wanted me to vomit everywhere too he had to do it). He would have absolutely made us both food whilst I was showering. He would never lie to me or hoard food for himself. This doesn't make him some kind of prince amongst men....it makes him a normal loving man.