AIBU or is this selfish move

[quirkyquerty]

5 yo DC was sick this evening. I took him upstairs, cleaned him up and got into bed with him to help him to fall asleep.

I then went in to my own bedroom where my DH was, and told him I was going to grab something to eat, did he want anything? DC then woke up and was sick again. I change the bedding, put a wash on, mop the floor, clean the loo and have a shower because he'd got a fair amount on me, too.

I get DC back to sleep in a different bed for now, then go to dry my hair.

DH comes up with a fancy little platter of breads and goats cheese and sliced pears for himself. I asked if he had thought to do something for me, too, to which he said no. I said I'd go and do it myself if he keeps an ear on DC, to which he replied there's no ingredients for it left, he'd used it all.

A bit later I've gone down to get a cup of tea and in the fridge - pears, goats cheese, and on the side some nice bread. When I asked DH, he said he wanted it for his lunch tomorrow, so told me it had all gone.

He can't see why it's upset me- and I'm not sure why it has upset me so much, perhaps because there's nowt else in the fridge because food delivery is first thing tomorrow, perhaps because it would never happen the other way around.

I don't think I'm selfish person, and struggle to get my head around the logic when he does things like this

OP, he is horrible, unbelievably selfish. Does he show this in other ways?

That is really quite staggeringly selfish of him on so many fronts!

Not doing anything to help with DS
Making himself food and you none
Not handing the plate over to you and going back to get some for himself when your asked him about it
Lyjng about whether there was any more so he could have that too!

Did he expect you to just have nothing?

If my husband did this I'd wonder if he even liked me

Absolutely.

I would really struggle to get over this.

There have been some dreadful threads this week on mumsnet about appalling behaviour from male Partners and husbands. Eg the husband who didn't want to go on holiday overseas, and others. But your post has actually upset me the most. You are dealing with a young child who is vomiting. It's horrid, we've all been there. You have to clean the child up, the bedding and probably other parts of the room. And then of course, if it's a bug they're sick again.
But your husband instead of helping, makes his own tea, doesn't even think to ask if you would like any, then lies to you about what is left. What a disgusting individual. Smothering with a sicky pillow - the Mumsnet patio with full alibis is always available.

Wow the lying about the leftovers would have fucking pushed me over edge

Astonishingly selfish. You offered to make him did, assume you would have shared any available for with him. But he didn't extend that courtesy to you because he decided it would fulfil two meals for himself and you could have nothing at all.

Could you ask sicky child to lick the bread and cheese and then, when you DH gets sick, treat him with the same cold selfishness he has shown to you?

Yes that's selfish

DH did something similar recently and also didn't get it

We take in turns to make dinner and it was his turn. The night before I'd made a chilli and there was enough for an another dinner. He couldn't be bothered to cook so said he'd have the chilli. I said fine we'll both have that even though I'd planned to use it for dinner the following day. He said there's only really enough for him. I questioned because there had been loads. He then explained he'd had some for lunch as well... so there were two portions and he'd had one for lunch and planned to have the other for dinner and leave me with nothing even though it was his turn to cook and I had to go out so would be late back and wouldn't have a lot of them to cook something.

I ate it and he had something else. In the past I'd have caved and felt guilty but some people will take if you let them and unfortunately my DH is one of them.x

Horrendous piece of shit man! I feel the rage for you, but you should find it too because that is not normal behaviour. It's uncaring and spiteful.

Selfish, lazy, mean. What a horrible man.

He doesn’t help his own child when ill.
He doesn’t help his own wife help their child when ill.
He doesn’t do any clean up.
He sorts his own dinner out.
He doesn’t make anything for his wife.
He lies about the food left as his own appetite for his lunch tomorrow is more important than his wife getting some dinner.
Such an utterly revolting individual.
There are NO excuses that justify any of it.
Leave him.

I'm not sure why it has upset me so much

That's the most strange part of your post, tbh! I can't imagine being with someone who did this.

I would spit on it and bin it all and then tell him where to go. Is he kidding. If you look up selfish twat in the dictionary his picture would be displayed next to it. What a horrible small minded individual. Tell him the next the the child gets sick it’s on him to take care of it. Also get up really early in the morning and just leave, leave your phone home too. Just tell your mom or a friend where to get in touch with you if needs be. Then have yourself a huge luxurious breakfast. And then see a lawyer. This a big ick for me.

What a selfish man. You are not being unreasonable to be upset.

Bloody hell OP, can this be real?
Absolutely unbelievable.
A Class A, selfish, lazy, nasty prick.

Shit father, shit husband.
What are you doing wasting your one precious life with someone like this?

God that is horrible. Outright lying to you about it as well. Really really nasty selfish behavior. I couldn’t stand it!

Kick him out of the bed. Throw up on him too. Make his life as good as yours is right now. Asshole

Is he usually this self centred?
What did he expect you to eat?

He's a selfish prick. Whyy wasn't he helping with DC? I'd struggle to have any respect after this. Seriously, unless this is a complete one off (he's still a wanker), I'd be gone.

This!

I would kill someone for this than this OP and I am not joking!! What a massive selfish prick. You were running around looking after a sick child while he was sat on his fat arse and then you were good enough to offer to make him food. I would have been saying 'can you make us some food while I sort DC out'. The fact that he LIED about the food......now that is when I would have been going to get a shovel to stove his head in. I am raging for you. You need to stop being so accommodating. Start getting as petty as he is.

That greedy liar!

You were taking care of your sick child while he noshed away without helping then he lied about being any for you.

He's a selfish arsehole. You're stuck looking after a sick kid and doing all the heavy lifting in that regard, while he 'hides' the nice food so he can have all of it to himself.

What a dick.

This is such shitty behaviour. I can't believe it is the only time he has behaved so badly. I bet there are loads of other 'little' things that add up to a big piling heap of crap. Honestly OP, you don't deserve this at all

Eat it then complain to him about the goats cheese and say it wasn't the nice type and can he get the log type or the soft type, whichever it isn't, next time. The only thing more annoying than someone eating something you wanted is knowing they didn't even enjoy it 😂