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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teaching- any other jobs that make you cry regularly?

363 replies

Whosaidthattt · 16/03/2025 00:21

I quit teaching last year, after years in a negative, toxic environment, which I thought was my fault.
Most days, I cried on the way to work, at lunchtime in a cupboard or driving home. I now see that this was the culture rather than me. It took changing a 20 year career to see this.
Is there any other job out there that has staff regularly crying before/during/after work? It's so wrong!

OP posts:
sommerjade · 17/03/2025 20:12

@mbosnzHaving just had to be with my sick cat as she was sadly pts, I don’t understand people who don’t care enough to be with them. How awful. The vets and receptionists at my cat’s vet practice were so lovely.

I get upset in my job as a part time healthcare assistant when I feel I can’t provide the care I want to give patients due to lack of time / staff / lack of care from certain colleagues.
Also deaths and suffering patients are upsetting to see, as an HCA you can’t do anything except try to advocate for your patients to the people who CAN help alleviate their suffering which is the staff nurses & doctors.

naffusername · 17/03/2025 20:31

Nursing. After 25 years, I'm done.

In reality, I started questioning in my education. But I was so far in student debt that I had to finish.

I found that I loved surgical nursing just before I graduated.

Unfortunately, when I qualified only nursing/care homes were hiring. I cried getting dressed, in the parking lot before my shift, and on the way home. The aides were horrible to new nurses. The families had totally unrealistic expectations of staff providing care. Old people are not sweet and respectful. I was bitten, scratched, nipped and had old men put their hands up my uniform.

I found joy when the local hospital hired me for surgical services.

Post Covid times have changed people.

I just can't anymore.

Zezet · 17/03/2025 20:34

The consular people who had to do the triage at the Rafah border crossing as to who was allowed out of Gaza had a pretty rough time with it.

Ski4130 · 17/03/2025 20:37

GP receptionist. If it’s not being shouted at by irate, often irrational patients, it’s the sadness of seeing much loved elderly patients deteriorate and pass away, or reading awful safeguarding reports, ditto horrific ambulance reports.

Sometimes there are glimmers, and 80% of our patients are lovely, kind & appreciative, 10% of them I can understand why they’re rude, aggressive, or irate (it’s usually because they’re in pain, have MH issues or there’s a backstory causing them to act so rudely) and then there are the 10% who think that just the very fact of me being a GP receptionist, means they can treat me and my colleagues with disdain, contempt and rudeness. Luckily our amazing NHS salaries compensate us royally for the abuse we get every day 🤬

Suzuki76 · 17/03/2025 20:48

I had some awful experiences in fashion retail merchandising as mentioned previously by other posters but I am amazed that nobody else has mentioned financial services. The last 5 years in mortgages has been a complete shitshow and people can be at their worst when buying property.

Scrimblescromble · 17/03/2025 20:49

Social work

Wotrewelookinat · 17/03/2025 21:09

Veterinary surgeon.

wishiwasjoking · 17/03/2025 21:11

Probably better to ask what jobs don't make people cry, it's a very short list.

Heyhoitsme · 17/03/2025 21:12

Police. It's a terrible job and you are not allowed to cry at work.

QueenBee22 · 17/03/2025 21:25

Already mentioned but I don't know how anyone can work in a NICU and hold it together.

I don't work in one, but my baby spent 3 weeks there. You go in and see the tiniest babies you can imagine, fighting to stay alive. A lot are intubated with tubes and wires everywhere, relying on a ventilator to breathe. My own baby couldn't cry properly, he squeaked he was so tiny as did other babies in the unit. I saw staff drawing blood from the tiniest veins no matter how long it took. I am in awe at the doctors and nurses who treat these babies and keep them alive.

I am struggling to hold back the tears thinking about it, I don't know how staff hold it together day in day out.

Stepfordian · 17/03/2025 21:26

Law, the constant worry that if you make a mistake or accidentally say the wrong thing the client will complain and you’ll be investigated and fired, but also you have a caseload of twice as many clients as you should have, constant phone calls and emails to the point you can’t actually do work because you’re having to spend so much time just replying to clients to tell them what work you’ve got to do. I could easily
spend just spent my contracted 37 hours at work answering emails and I would never have a clear inbox.

hazelowens · 17/03/2025 21:27

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 16/03/2025 00:38

Every job I have ever had lol.

Barmaid, supermarket till operator, nanny, nursery worker.

A lot of people are really shit and unnecessarily rude. The stories I can tell about being a nanny specifically, are appalling.

Supermarket checkout during COVID I was working 40+ hours a week and crying almost every shift as people are horrific

Solaire18381 · 17/03/2025 21:34

As others have said, the NHS. Sick of hearing the phase "I could be dead by then". That's an awful thing to say to someone when you have no control of the situation.

Usually it's patients' relatives who can be the ones shouting the most. By it's nature, everyone is so self-centered.

Also, as it's under such high pressure, colleagues can be so nasty and petty. All in all, not a nice place to work and has only become worse in the last several years.

Rightsraptor · 17/03/2025 21:40

Nursing and midwifery.

DiduAye · 17/03/2025 21:45

Palliative care

VeraWangTea · 17/03/2025 21:49

Child protection social work. When I used to try to calculate how to crash my car on the way to work to not hurt myself or anyone else but have some time off work.

Out of it now thank God.

Frugal24 · 17/03/2025 22:08

Surroundedbyfools · 17/03/2025 19:31

I’m sure there are plenty. Somehow teachers seem to think they have the hardest job in the entire world and complain constantly

I never complained - just carried on and then left with no job to go to.

BobbySox71 · 17/03/2025 22:09

Prettybubblesintheair · 16/03/2025 01:16

Healthcare receptionist. Regularly shouted at for things that are out of my control, not my fault or because my hands are tied by government requirements. Do you really think I get a kick out of asking you to fill in a form, do you think it’s a hobby I do for fun? I speak to 100+ patients a day and generally repeat the same things over and over. I’m sorry your healthcare provider is running late, they aren’t even in the building yet because they can’t be arsed to get here on time but you’re right, it makes perfect sense you shout at me about it. Do you think I want you sat in the waiting room glaring at me because your appointment is late? And yes, I do understand “I do work you know, I don’t have all day”…funnily enough I also work, here in fact! I’m not here because I’ve completed Netflix and had nothing better to do. I am here, at my job, on time…would you like me to try and teleport the healthcare provider so you can have your appointment and be on your way? Because believe me, I would much, much rather you were seen on time. Yes, this provider is always late and has had several disciplinary warnings but they are still at least 45 minutes late, every day.

Next time you’re at the doctors or the dentist, please just fill in the fucking forms without arguing with reception. We know you’ve been here before, we are very well trained in which forms are required and when. And if your doctor/dentist is running late, don’t shout at the receptionist. She is there, on time, doing her job. The fact that your health care provider went to uni does not give them the right to be late, they’re not off doing something big or important. They’re grabbing a Starbucks on the way in or scrolling tik tok in the surgery.

This is me as well, stop shouting at me because your appointment is running late. It’s not my fault and I’m earning not much more than minimum wage.
The hospital I work in has an oncology ward, these patients are more humble than you.

Frugal24 · 17/03/2025 22:10

VeraWangTea · 17/03/2025 21:49

Child protection social work. When I used to try to calculate how to crash my car on the way to work to not hurt myself or anyone else but have some time off work.

Out of it now thank God.

Awful - thank goodness you’re out now.

pollyglot · 17/03/2025 22:19

Not sure why teachers always think they have it the worst!

I really can understand just how stressful so many jobs are. However, the thing about teaching is that few other professions have to deal with 30+ people at once, with 30+ sets of stressors/ issues. Many have hungry bellies, appalling home conditions, have been beaten/bullied at home and at school, have adolescent hormones, anger and resentment, health and sensory problems, drug issues. Many can't see the point of being there, resent the kids who can, need an outlet for their anger. There is frequently low-level disruption, deliberate noise, they lack the tools for the job, have no lunch and there's always the class clown who deliberately causes chaos. A teacher is no longer a guide, educator and role model; crowd control is their first task before any actual learning can go on. Wasted time for education, seriously disadvantaging the kids who desperately want to learn.

That's just the start.

Then there's the lack of support from SLT, so frequently a snivelling bunch of cowards who hide from their responsibilies. Teachers are judged on the exam pass rates of their pupils...and are obliged to explain themselves and what they have done wrong, should the students fail to meet the targets. Classrooms are frequently dank and unwelcoming, peeling paint and mould. No other profession would countenance having to work in such unhealthy conditions with vulnerable children. Textbooks are torn and covered with grafitti, frequently one between two, so cannot be taken home to do homework - not that it is done anyway. Many pupils have no pencils or pens, and if the teacher buys them in herself, they are not returned. I had boys, after being asked to return my pencils, simply holding them up in front of me and deliberately snapping them. This is apparently the method by which certain ethnicities show their disdain for female teachers.

There's the 3 hours of marking, planning, extra reading every evening, and most of the weekend.

There's the couple of kids who have filthy school uniforms which are never washed, appalling hygiene, noses running with green snot, and who want so much individual attention, which is almost impossible to provide. There is so little time during the day. Lunchtimes and breaktimes are for pointless meetings and duties, rather than giving help and support to the people who really need it.

I spent a term doing long-term supply in a school close to the bottom of the league tables, as the fifth long term supply teacher in a matter of months. The other four had left in tears, and the poor girl previous to me, in an ambulance following a complete breakdown. It was the 3rd term of year 11, the kids desperate to pass their GCSEs despaired of doing so, owing to the classroom environment. I simply told them that if they were prepared to work their socks off, I would do the same and we together would get them through, despite them saying "Miss, we've had all these supply teachers, we're so far behind, we'll never pass." We worked together like Trojans, lunchtimes, after school. Strangely, the school had the best pass rate in my subject in many years, and the school tried desperately to persuade me to stay on. Eventually, they were obliged to employ a teacher completely unqualified in that subject. Those poor, poor, kids.

It is an impossible and thankless task being a teacher today in very many state schools. One term in that school nearly broke me, despite my 30 years' experience.I went on to an elite private school and an environment where I could actually teach...my next GCSE class had 100% A* passes.

Neverendingrain · 17/03/2025 22:21

Arrivals4lucky · 16/03/2025 06:53

OMG. My friends DH is a vet and cries all the time, she says! Borderline suicidal but won’t leave as it’s all he’s ever done.

I’m sure I read somewhere that vets are in one of the highest groups for suicide? Why though?

Proudofmynane · 17/03/2025 22:21

Fast food.
Some utter gonk of a boss, that hasn't a clue expecting more speed, faster service, throw the food at people and move on. We used to have customers loving our real customer service. Now all we get is negative reviews for speeding up and achieving lower and lower times. Guess what, the shit reviews are apparently our fault too.

MiniPumpkin · 17/03/2025 22:24

I’m a justice services manager. Cried twice today as the clock was ticking so fast and my firefighting hose ain’t keeping up with the demands. Im short staffed so I have crisis after crisis falling at my feet. When I don’t have enough social workers it falls to me to do the job.
the last few Fridays I could have cried driving home as another week without things getting done. I vary between this level of upset or just thinking sod it, I am only one person and cannot do anymore
nearly 5 years in management after 10 years as a social worker and now see why previous managers did not respond to emails.. because they just couldn’t! Not enough hours in the day. Driving me round the twist !!

OkTrueBluered · 17/03/2025 22:57

Stepfordian · 17/03/2025 21:26

Law, the constant worry that if you make a mistake or accidentally say the wrong thing the client will complain and you’ll be investigated and fired, but also you have a caseload of twice as many clients as you should have, constant phone calls and emails to the point you can’t actually do work because you’re having to spend so much time just replying to clients to tell them what work you’ve got to do. I could easily
spend just spent my contracted 37 hours at work answering emails and I would never have a clear inbox.

Yes the constant worry of a complaint. The sick feeling of opening emails on a Monday. I once had a client email me on Christmas Day. Luckily by that stage I had drawn a very firm boundary and didn’t check.

Suzuki76 · 17/03/2025 23:32

Neverendingrain · 17/03/2025 22:21

I’m sure I read somewhere that vets are in one of the highest groups for suicide? Why though?

Crippling debt, long hours for poor pay, abuse from pet owners who are used to the NHS for humans and think treatment should be free out of the goodness of the vets' hearts, and almost daily euthanasia of both sick and healthy animals.

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