Teaching- any other jobs that make you cry regularly?

[Whosaidthattt]

I quit teaching last year, after years in a negative, toxic environment, which I thought was my fault.
Most days, I cried on the way to work, at lunchtime in a cupboard or driving home. I now see that this was the culture rather than me. It took changing a 20 year career to see this.
Is there any other job out there that has staff regularly crying before/during/after work? It's so wrong!

I was going to say law but see that lots beat me to it. It gets better though the more senior you are and you start to understand why your seniors behaved the way they did.

Thank you for what you do. You have my full sympathies. I go to the GP a lot due to chronic health conditions. I'm also autistic with the typical autistic strong sense of fairness and justice. Nothing winds me up more that sitting in the waiting room listening to other patients being rude to the receptionists. They are nice people and don't deserve it. By the time I get to see the GP, I am often quite upset due to this.

The partners. The hours. The culture. Please don’t worry though, i didn’t mean to worry anyone, this was a long time ago, they will be more progressive and enlightened now. Also I just didn’t fit in. Your son will be fine I’m sure

@Britneyfan @Matsukaze @LunaTheCat

Thank you for being GPs. I am forever grateful to mine. She was the one who spotted that I was living with domestic abuse.

Just wanted to say how fantastic GPs are because they often get a bad rep.

Depending on whether you need a high wage or just a job you enjoy, have you thought about becoming a Foster carer?
Experienced Foster carers who enjoy working with young people with SEND are in huge demand. You could really make a difference with your experience there, however it may not work at this stage of life depending on your finances.

I also worked as a TA for a few years & like you felt a lot of admiration for the teachers and definitely wouldn’t have wanted to do their job despite it being better paid (& I have a degree so could have done a PGCE).

People don’t realise how extremely rude a lot of pupils can be to teachers and apparently some parents are even worse! My upmost sympathy to everyone feeling stress on this thread - especially the teachers and healthcare workers.

Yep: moral of the thread, don't go into corporate law. The lack of sleep will kill you.

I think a lot of the very stressful jobs described here have very long hours and give a rubbish work-life balance. We should be more like the French and strike for shorter working hours. It makes a world of difference to have a couple of extra hours in the day when you're not at work (they mostly use it to think about eating, cook and sit at the table, but imagine all the useful stuff we could do!).

I genuinely believe the UK culture of long hours is the root of a lot of our obesity, screen reliance, poor mental health and poor parenting. We are not a lazy and stupid society, just massively overworked. We must stop accepting this way of life.

Gives an insight into the sort of shit GPs have to put up with doesn’t it? The lack of understanding that they aren’t at work 24/7 because no one is. Not expected to have a life outside of their job.

@CinnamonJellyBeans i wouldn’t say don’t go into corporate law. There aren’t that many jobs that will pay you a six figure salary straight out of school. Rather, go into corporate law with your eyes wide open and fully appreciating that there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

Therein lies the crux of the matter, I'm afraid. People, in general, are impatient, self-centred and rude, in a way that was just not acceptable even as recently as five or ten years ago. I've worked in my current primary school for 15 years and the change in the way we are spoken to and treated (by parents AND pupils) now is honestly staggering.

From my experience law does not get better the more senior you get, the pressures just change. I will be doing everything I can to dissuade my DS from going into law - not that he’s likely to do it anyway.

What a ridiculous comment. GPs can simultaneously find their work stressful and busy but also be allowed to scroll mumsnet in their time off. We do let them have days off sometimes, wild concept I know.

Residential social work/care with teenagers. I very rarely cry but colleagues do, aside from the horrific backgrounds we have to read about to prepare, in the last week I have had colleagues called a cunt many times each day, been assaulted, had furniture thrown at them, someone was pushed down the stairs, someone was head butted, another broke their finger, and a few females were sexually assaulted and indecently exposed to. That’s just off the top of my head in the last week! Not all in one home (I’m a manager now) but within my LA. Needless to say, staff turnover is high and recruitment very difficult. I’ve also fantasised about illness (haven’t been off sick for over 15 years) or accidents that won’t have a lasting impact but would give me a few weeks guilt free rest. If I just stayed off sick the guilt of others having to do my work would make it worse.

Covid has made people impatient and rude towards any customer facing role.

There is absolutely nothing to achieve from behaving like this. You are making staff leave, cry, customers having to wait longer.

I here you on this. Since starting teaching, the job has morphed into almost a quasi nanny service for parents. I was once on door duty in the morning and a parent came marching up to me and said 'Can you tie her laces?' and gestured down to her daughters shoes for me to tie?!!! I was also 8 months pregnant with twins so very clearly heavily pregnant. Honestly the way parents speak to teachers and demand from them is appalling and SLT just let them get away with it because they are scared it will come back to haunt them on the ofsted questionnaire.

Yes plenty. The idea that teachers have it the worst is a self-perpetuating morale drain. You're no more special, overworked and underpaid than anyone else who chooses a career where the money is not the main/sole reason you do the job.

But it's not a competition.

Police staff. Just full of toxic pests.

I know this wasn’t your question but I’m a teacher and can’t remember the last time I cried about work. Stressed and overwhelmed yes but it doesn’t make me cry. Was that one school or several you worked in?

Junior doctor. Cried every day on my way home. It wasn't the work so much as the being screamed at by relatives and patients for stuff I usually had absolutely no control over.

Thank you for the suggestion. Foster carers are permanently being advertised internally. I have quite a few looked after children on my caseload and watch them being bounced from placement to placement is so upsetting.

I cannot even consider being a foster carer, as I will have no spare room until my own children move out.

Childcare

It was all I ever wanted to do. I trained full time for 2 years to become a NNEB nursery nurse and was so proud of my qualification. Loved my job back in the day. Worked as a daily nanny and as a deputy manager in a large nursery/after school club then when Mr Blair introduced the NVQ standards declined and I became a registered childminder working from home from 2004 until 2015.
After moving to a new area I returned to nursery work, what a mistake, working with young girls who didn't realise tinned spaghetti was pasta!!!!. Staff not allowed to discipline toddlers. Working 10 hour days with children not getting enough outdoor play. Not allowed to use the word "no", not allowed to use "time out" method.
And all for minimum wage
So I left and became a self employed cleaner, earning alot more money, working hours to suit, loving it and just wish I'd done it years ago

Ditto. Always in the car on the way home. Difficult to drive and sob.

I am London based and it is really bad. I have had numerous colleagues who were unable to secure an alternative position resign, and then go to agency. This does at least have the benefit of being able to take extended breaks in between. They have found it most beneficial when they have been able to just write plans or process annual reviews, without holding a caseload.

The long term plan is for LAs to reduce dependence on agency, however I cannot see how this will work. Our service is currently 80% agency following a mass walkout, and even the agency staff are leaving due to how things are being run.

I hear you about not wanting to give up completely, however what impact can you have if the system breaks you?

The whole system needs pulling apart and rebuilding. Not run by those who are just furthering their career, but by those who actually care and want to invest in the service and community long term. Also need far more accountability and consequence for management incompetence.

I really hope you are able to find something soon. It is such a shame to continually be losing talented and caring people. Wondering if it may be worth considering a charity role that focuses on supporting families from a different angle. That or I will be seeking to go more into the backend of service such as data or QA.

I completely agree.

I got tagged in this post by a colleague whilst teaching and I couldn’t contain my frustration (not aimed at her but at the system). No one should be given the message that they have to work themselves to the bone in order to make a difference.

I was a qualified Local Authorities Children and Families social worker for nearly thirty years. I worked in an extremely deprived urban area in the South East of England. During that time, I had shotguns pulled on me, vicious dogs urged to attack me, deranged relatives trying to strangle me. The worst thing was having a car driven at me and managing to leap aside before it flattened me. I worked very many hours overtime and rarely took them back, as the high-intensity caseload had no space for that.
The best things were being able to use resources available to improve some people's lives, to have children who had been adopted thank me, and to believe that I did some good in the world.