Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!!

[ProlongedAffair]

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim for CMS and was awarded it, they see me as the primary carer because I get both children’s child benefits. I also discovered my ex is earning a 6 figure salary.

Last week I got a letter from child benefit saying that he is challenging my claim. I said to the lady that he earns too much to claim and I suspect he’s only claiming so he can try to get out of CMS. She told me that because he has the children for half the time and child benefit isn’t means tested, the likelihood is they will award child benefit one each! Surely that can’t be correct, can anyone advise who has been through their rival claims process?? He will then be able to claim CMS from me!!

@Quinlanthere was already a claim open, as to start with I had the children most of the time. He only had EOW and sometimes 1 overnight in the week. He then changed his job (worked away most of our marriage) and was going to be local and work from home so wanted 50/50.

TheCMS actually wasn’t much at all, he left it running for a bit before deciding to try and close it which is when the below happened.

He was nasty about money in the divorce, I left him due to DV and it was never easy talking to him about money.

It’s good that it’s got the point that it’s amicable now and he understands how much I still do despite 50/50, he’s now happy to pay something and says it makes life easier for him if I’m sorting out uniform, clubs, trips etc.

Why do you think you should get child support payments from him is you have the kids 50/50? I think he’s doing it in retaliation to this isn’t he (dick move but also seems off for you to request maintenance when you split them evenly)

It isn't.

But if you earn over a certain amount there is a tax on it. That's not the same as means tested.

On 6 figures if he was awarded it, he'd have to opt out of receiving payments or fill in self assessment forms and repay it all in tax

I think when the OP says the reason she claimed CMS is outing is because it outs her as grabby. She had a good set up and decided she wanted more once she found out how much her ex earned. Not a good look. Besides, I’m sure there are genuine causes the CB could be spent on. I don’t see why that’s not fraud if the kids are 50:50

Given the updates OP is either thick as mince, or this couldn't be happening to a more deserving individual.

It’s the combination of the 2 that is the problem here. You’re left with much less money, a smaller home, less extravagant holidays etc. I wouldn’t want to be the much worse off parent in this situation.. would you?

Imagine struggling to get by and not being able to afford meals out and nice holidays while in the other half of their life, your kid has all of this in abundance…

Meals out and nice holidays? That's not struggling to get by

He has them the same amount of time as you, why do you think you're entitled to his share of child related benefit?

Surely that's better than them struggling at both houses.

Child maintenance is not for meals out and nice holidays.
Its 2025. Women are more than capable of providing those things themselves. And even if they can’t, it’s not the other parent’s job to.

I can afford to take my daughter on nice holidays and for meals out. Her Dad can't as much. So, you think I should pay for my daughter to have nice holidays and meals out with her dad, too? If he's unhappy with his financial situation, he can change it. I won't stop him.

You can consider yourself however you like, that’s not how it works! If you have the children 50% of the time you are entitled to 50% of the CB. It doesn’t matter how much he earns; CB don’t care. He can claim every penny he’s entitled to if he wants to, the repaying is done via Self Assessment tax return up to 20 months later. It’s easier to stop the payments when you earn over the threshold but not everyone does. He might put the money in a high interest account and keep what he makes from it after he’s paid the charge. It’s nothing to do with you because he’s a 50% parent too. You muddied the waters here by doing the CMS claim, he has every right to claim from you as you are claiming from him. You won’t be able to argue it if he goes ahead.

I think you quoted the wrong person

You can consider yourself the ‘primary’ carer - the truth is you’re both 50/50.

The decision on who to award child benefit to is NOT based on a parent’s earnings.

They will not consider his earnings at all.

You will both receive child benefit for one child. Due to his high earnings he can either choose to receive the child benefit payments and pay the tax charge at the end of the year or he can choose to opt out of receiving the child benefit payments so there is no tax charge for him to repay.

I would get him to withdraw his claim for child benefit in return for dropping your claim.

I think you're a CF. He has 50/50 so you are not the primary caregiver, whether you consider yourself to be or not (which you've stated you do). You want all of the CB and maintenance on top of that, despite the fact that he pays everything when they are in his care, as well as providing private medical and dental care. Earnings are irrelevant as he pays his half (and then some), you're just a money grabber.

So what?
You won't be when you're only getting child support for one of the kids.
You've proper fucked up here by being greedy.
Yes he'll be able to claim CMS from you in return.

I suggest you ask him nicely to withdraw the claim on the basis that you withdraw yours too, and hope he kindly agrees.

I don’t understand why you think your the primary carer if care of the DC is split 50/50?

Women being capable of providing those things for themselves isn't really the point, the point is that child maintenance is for maintaining your child, not for subsidising your entire lifestyle. Personally, if I am dumped after bearing a man's children, I expect him to be financially peanalised by having to subsidise my lifestyle, which is one of the reasons why I chose the Legal Marriage > Home Ownership > Children life path. If a person was silly enough to reproduce with someone who isn't financially accountable to them, they I don't have much sympathy when they start whining about child support.

And she is spiteful for trying to claim maintenance when she only has her children 50% of the time and the father has them the other 50%. Father is also paying for private health & dental care.

Nobody who can read and write/type can be this stupid, surely?

If you ever get divorced I think you are going to be very disappointed.

OFGS its ancient history-why do you think she'd rake it over with you now?

I think there are a lot of assumptions on this thread as the Op has given basically no information about her own finances and expenses of the children other than her ex earns more money. If it’s a true 50/50 situation with both time, expenses and effort then no I don’t think the OP should claim child maintenance and CB for both the children. By starting the CMS claim you have pissed off your ex and now he is screwing you over which he can legally do as you have admitted he has 50% care. If however the Op is solely paying for hobbies, uniform, clothes etc. then there may be a case for receiving some maintenance from her ex. Sounds like you’ll still get more cash receiving CB and maintenance for one than you would be paying out in maintenance to him.