House buyer has moved stuff in before completion.

[AlinaRawlings]

Hi everyone, apologies as this is long.

I have what I think is an unusual situation and I just wanted some opinions on my next move.
I split with my husband in 2023 and we have now divorced. We obtained a financial order by consent in November 2024 which stated I could occupy our marital home with our 3 children until it was sold with most of the proceeds going to me (we had other properties and capital that went to him). I am not on the mortgage and he is the legal owner so when we separated I obtained a right to occupy notice over the property. I agreed to remove this and it was removed on January 10th. He is very awkward and quite abusive and manipulative and our relationship is strained at best but I try to stay civil for the children.

He accepted an offer on the property within a week (November 7th) and he told me he will keep me updated the whole way through. On the 10th January he told me that the house was going to complete on 15th January. I was dumbfounded that he had not kept me up to date and told him there’s no way I could find a rented property (which I’d decided to go into until I’d saved a bit more to buy a home outright for myself and the kids) and move within 5 days. He was extremely abusive telling me I would lose us the sale. I had no access to his conveying solicitor who would not speak to me as I am not the legal owner. I then found a property and moved out within 14 days. I asked him when completion would then happen and he had no clue. This dragged on for weeks.

I then got a call from him on 7th March telling me I need to hand the keys to the buyer as she needed to move her stuff in (I still had the keys and still had belongings in there). I asked had he exchanged he said she refuses to exchange until she has the keys. I told him that that’s too risky for us both and could cause many issues. I then got a barrage of abuse and was told “she’ll call you to explain just give her whatever she wants”. She then calls me and tells me she’s a financial remedy judge (about 5 times) and how she’d never have touched the property had she known there was a matrimonial charge on it or known it was a “divorce property” (she was told this upon viewing). How her child had now lost his place at his preferred high school and that a condition of her offer was a completion date of 15th January due to her child’s school place. I asked why it hadn’t exchanged and she said she’ll do it today whilst I hand her the keys. I explained I still have stuff in there and that I’d need time to move it, she said I’ll stick it all in the garage for you. I felt bullied by both my ex and her and agreed as she repeatedly told me she’s a judge and can be trusted, that she’ll take on insurance liability, that she can’t get time off to move so needs the keys to move in the evenings, that she wants her electrician to come and put up light fittings, that she’s happy to pull out if I don’t acquiesce so I ended up hurriedly going up there grabbing what I could and handing her the keys over. I did ask when completion would happen and she said it’s out of her hands as a company is buying her home and they’re dragging their feet.

it’s now over a week later. I have asked my ex to keep my updated (we only speak on msg never face to face as it’s too volatile). He has ignored me. I still had her number from her calling me so I sent her a nice msg basically saying can she keep me in the loop as now she has the keys I have no idea when completion will be and my ex won’t tell me. She seemed very annoyed that I had msged her directly and told me she’s not the mediator between me and my ex. That this was all our fault for not completing on January 15th and that it will basically takes as long as it takes, she then asked me not to msg her again as she will only communicate with the legal owner and not to contact her again. She also threatened to remove her things and just pull out as it’s all stop stressful for her. I have also asked can his solicitor send proceeds from the property straight to me and he said his solicitor said as I’m not his client then no it will have to go to my ex then to me. This is a huge amount of money that I don’t trust him with. I have no money to obtain legal advice and I now don’t know the best course of action. I feel a bit like a fool for not demanding a completion date before handing over the keys but she’s certainly flexed her authority and knowledge as a judge over me.

Am I being unreasonable in asking the buyer to commit to a completion date and should I have give her the keys in the first place?

Please get legal advice from a qualified solicitor as soon as possible and not from AIBU.

I think she’s scamming your ex and he’s too stupid to realise. It’s text book scam talk, the pressure regarding timings, the gas lighting about how it all your fault, the impressing on you about how trustworthy she is. Can you check the house out to see if she appears to be living there?

Staggered at the lack of critical thinking on this thread.

Believe no one, trust nobody, paddle your own canoe.

I find this situation weird. Get your own solicitor. Cost doesn’t matter, as too much at stake. XH may even have to pay costs. If you don’t get settlement money now you will spend more later trying too.

Always get your own independent advice. DO NOT trust anybody else’s solicitor. You are not their client.

She is not a judge. So what if she walks away, plenty more buyers in the market.

Protect your own interests. Show your children how to stand up to bullies. You are protecting their interests too.

Start playing hard ball now.

You do realise that you're not going to see a penny of the proceeds of this sale don't you?

Exactly this!! Do you think the mortgage company would happiest remove their outstanding charge before completion to make the buyer happy? It’s the same idea with yours. Consult a solicitor about it now! Who told you it needed to come off? If it was him why did you listen?

Also if he’s let her move in pre-completion he’s an idiot - he now has no bargaining chips left to ensure completion and it’s entirely on her terms. If she doesn’t complete then 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’ll be an expensive process to evict essentially a squatter. Her profession has nothing to do with it - she’s entirely unreasonable even asking for keys at that stage and he’s entirely stupid to have agreed. Who has it insured? If it burns down tomorrow she’ll walk away having lost a few boxes - he’d lose much more.

OP do this without delay.

As things stand you will likely lose all the proceeds from this house.

Act now!

Is the house in joint names or held as tenants in common? If so, I simply don't understand how a solicitor can be dealing with the sale whilst refusing to deal with you.

Pleeeeease get legal advice quickly. You really need a solicitor to lay down the law to protect your interests, both in terms of this buyer and your ex. Don't trust your ex to hand over the money meekly on completion.

Agreed. @AlinaRawlings get advice ASAP! Don't wait any longer.

Is there in fact such a thing as a financial remedy judge? Aren't they all just judges in the Family Court?

OP, I don’t know what the hell is going on here with this monumental mess. I’ve never heard of anything like it before in my life.

But what I do know is you are being utterly mugged off by everyone involved. I really think you need legal advice about all of it, but especially the financial settlement. I suspect you’re being screwed.

Sorry you’re going through this - it all seems very murky.

I would get a solicitor immediately to deal with your nasty ex and the bullying judge.

I think you’re being conned in some way but first step is a good solicitor.

This can't be real. Who gives someone their house before they get the money?

Just a thought, whilst I understand his solicitor cannot act for you and the estate agents also a strongly worded email from you to them both explaining that you will be a beneficiary of the sale and you are extremely concerned about the antics of your ex and the 'judge', were they aware of them and if so you trust bearing in mind their good name they are advising their client of his inappropriate actions. Then final sentence you will be hearing from my solicitor shortly. So no actual request to act for you but rather pull their bloody fingers out and get this shit show back on track. ALSO urgent appt with solicitor as many have said.

Very odd that a woman should shout about being some sort of judge repeatedly, doesn’t ring true. And if she has any sort of legal knowledge she’d know you can’t move into a house until completion ( you don’t get keys at exchange of contracts, that just binds you to complete or lose your deposit) She’s squatting.
To me it looks set up by your ex husband.
The estate agent can contact the solicitor for information. The only Goid thing I can see is that Nov- March is time to complete although searches are notoriously slow especially now solicitors outsource them.
I hope it all works out.

Change the locks now, and ask her to remove her things with immediate effect until the house sale is complete.

Seek urgent legal assistance at 9am tomorrow, you are being screwed over. You can quite possibly salvage this situation by being swift and securing your house.

You would be better off running the risk of losing the house sale than being shafted by a rental agreement or a squatter. You have been awarded the entire equity of the house - it’s most definitely in your interests to secure the house today. Or this could drag on for years and cost the earth in legal fees.

This crossed my mind, too.

He's definitely up to something. If she's buying it, is it conceivable that he's intending to bugger off with the proceeds of sale?

When a friend was in the process of a messy and vindictive divorce, she signed up to something with the land registry that would tell her if her (now) ex exchanged contracts on either of their properties.

Some more thoughts…

1. he said his solicitor said as I’m not his client then no it will have to go to my ex then to me this is completely wrong. If his solicitor did this then they would be in breach of a court order. As part of the conveyancing process, how the house is owned and why it is being sold is ascertained. In your case, they will know that it’s being sold due to a divorce so would ask if there’s a financial order. It is virtually impossible for them not to know the circumstances surrounding the sale. You are perfectly within your rights to contact them and “serve” them a copy of the court order so they have it and know about it. You may not be on the deeds or their client but you are a party to the proceedings. Anyone telling you they can’t tell you who his conveyancer is is basically stopping you from making them aware of a court order which is nonsense. You are a party to this transaction so you need to know who is acting on behalf of your EXDH so you can get your money (you’ll need to provide them with ID and bank details so get all of that sorted out well in advance. Ask them what they will need (in person or scans) and make sure you have everything sorted. If they’re not local to you ask them if they’ll accept certified copies and from whom).

2. A property is “sold” when the seller has received the funds on completion and the buyer receives the keys. You said the court order said you could stay in the property until it sold so you didn’t have to move out prior to the sale being agreed. It worked well for you to do so, but if he said you had to he was wrong. Again.

3. Exchange and completion are two different parts of the sale process. Usually, contracts are sent out at the start of the process and are signed by both sides. This has no legal effect and doesn’t create a contract. The buyer then carries out searches which can take 3 months or so to come back. They ask questions of the seller and might get inspections carried out on the property to see if there’s anything wrong, what restrictions there might be on ownership etc. They can still pull out as there’s no binding contract for them to purchase. Once they’re happy with the property both sides can exchange contracts (this is done by their conveyancers who get their explicit permission to do so. There’s set questions they have to ask to make sure everyone knows what’s happening as it has legal consequences). People usually exchange contracts with a completion date of 1 week later, but you can do a simultaneous completion where you exchange and complete on the same day.

Once you exchange, liability for the property transfer to the buyer so they have to get insurance to cover the period between exchange and completion in case the house goes on fire etc.

The seller owns the property until the sale is completed.

There is no binding contract until the parties have exchanged.

Letting someone carry out works to your property if you haven’t even exchanged contracts is completely reckless. If her electrician accidentally sets the house on fire and it burns to the ground then you will get no money. Highly unlikely an insurance company would pay out as your husband effectively allowed the activity to take place so would they’d say “Tough. Your fault”.

3. There may be argument that he is putting unfair risk on your share of the funds with what he’s doing but you would need a solicitor to get involved in that. There must be a legal principle that you can’t be reckless as to destruction/reduction in value of an asset that is subject of a court order.

4. Many solicitors will represent you on a contingency basis ie you don’t have money now but you’re guaranteed to get it in the future. You might be able to pay a deposit of a few £££ then pay the remainder when you receive the divorce settlement.

5. Stop speaking to judge lady. You don’t need to deal with any of her nonsense. Your part in this process is to move out at completion (which you’ve done) and be paid the money a court has ordered you get. That’s it. EXDH has to speak to the buyer, he has to exchange contracts, he has to agree dates, he has to give her the keys, he has to worry about her son losing his place at school, not you.

6. GET YOUR MATRIMONIAL HOME RIGHTS BACK ON THE LAND REGISTRY ASAFP!!!!!! You don’t need a solicitor to do it. DO IT TODAY!!!!

Wow this is awful op. Fingers crossed you get some decent advice tomorrow and get it sorted. If you have time please come back and update us. Many years ago we came back from a meal out the night before completion and saw our buyers had moved loads of their stuff into the garden. I thought this thread was going to be something like that.

Ha! We had the opposite. Arrived after completion to find our completely unapologetic but tired looking sellers still in the house saying they hadn’t managed to remove everything yet as they ran out of time!! Luckily we were renting and hadn’t moved out so had somewhere to stay. I was 7 months pregnant at the time 😀

No. You never hand over the keys until completion, that comes after exchange.
Who gives a fuck if she's a judge? She could be fucking queen of England and I still wouldn't.

You need legal advice immediately. Not MN. Because it sounds very much like you've just had your marital home stolen from under you.

Agree with this. Do they know each other? In fairness to buyer this mess between you and ex is not her problem, however her insistence on keys, moving in etc is . Neither is acting legally and despite you saying you have no money to fund a solicitor you stand to lose far more without one.

Don't bother passing on information to your ex, the buyer etc.
Your priority is ensuring the order is on the house and you have confirmation any monies owing to you goes to you from conveyancing solicitors. No delays.

If your solicitor is busy on Monday, get another one.

Stop communicating with your ex and other buyers etc. Let their solicitor come to you direct in writing and do not rush when responding. Your solicitor will advise. You worry about you and the dc.

And don't be impressed by job titles.

I've read op posts, but cannot understand why keys were given to the buyer before contract completed. That's standard for house buying in England??

Get her details, and if she is a judge, then she is acting without due respect? I can't think of the word, but she should be acting better...