Never let ANYONE move in!!

[Engineweld]

OH moved in with me 5yrs ago. House is in my name, I have a nice home. I’m very house proud. I’d done everything on it before he moved in.
then I made a mistake.
I let BIL moved in “temporarily” ..he was struggling where he was and having quite a few problems. 2 and half years later he’s finally just moving out. I’ve been trying to get him out for over 12mnths.
But then I walked into the room he’s been using and I’m fuming!
It’s absolutely filthy! Clearly nothing has been cleaned since he moved in. Skirting boards, windows and blind, ceiling, marks and stains everywhere, laminate flooring full of I don’t know what. I bought him 2 sets of drawers when he moved in to help him ..both of them are completely beyond repair and it definitely needs repainting everywhere.
I actually burst into tears over the state of it.
I’m so upset.
I’ve come downstairs and took it out on DH and I know I shouldn’t. It’s not him that’s done it. He’s trying to be practical and saying we’ll just deal with it tomorrow but I’m fuming.
I’ve worked hard for everything I’ve got and to have someone take the p**s like this has just devastated me.
OH took me out of the room, closed the door, and just let me rant. I just can’t get those images out of my head. I’m angry, frustrated, disgusted.

Action OR fact, not 'for'

Either way

all silly nonsense that you had no idea for 2.5 years.

Very unsympathetic

I was told on another thread that I was trying to stay on benefits because I would not let my DP move in... and that it should not be allowed. Tell me how the state can force a couple to live together.

If my DP moved in, I would be 100% reliant on him. Not recommended at all!

Did he pay his way towards bills and food when he was there, sorry if I've missed it

As I’ve previously said, i did on occasion “pop my head in” but he hid the floor damage with a huge rug and the drawers were always closed so didn’t know they were damaged.

we both agreed to him moving in. And he had no idea of his lack of housekeeping as previously he had lived with ex g/f

That's awful OP. Have you contacted Bil and read the riot act to him? Get really really angry and demand that he cleans the room and puts right the damage. Don't let him just walk away. What a disgusting thing to do. Make him take responsibility.

Did he pay rent? Contribute to bills?

your dp exploited you by allowing this to continue to 2.5 years. I believe this is what posters are trying to tell you. Are you not blamig him at all?

Can't you or your husband just speak with your BIL today and tell him he needs to come back to clean the room and replace anything at his expense that he has damaged.
Was he paying you any rent while he lived there?

Tbh ..me and OH have cleaned it all today. He’s going to try and repair the drawers, if not, we’ll just get rid of them. We’ve been talking and both agreed that he’s gone, I don’t want him coming back. It’s all done now.

No as it was down to both of us allowing him to move in. We both tried talking with him. Both of us tried helping him. So no, I disagree with OH exploiting me.

He left and came back this time OP so I wouldn’t count on your DP not sidling up to you to suggest his brother temporarily staying again

It is YOUR home
This is HIS brother

No. And I don’t want to. He clearly thought this was acceptable so we’ve both just cleaned up, and learned a hard lesson to NEVER help him again, regardless of what he says.

We’ve both learned a hard lesson. We won’t be helping him again.

In total he’s lived with you rent free for 7 years? 8 years? And your OH moans at you for when your GS stays for a mere week.

Shocking what some posters put up with

Cleaner.
Price up replacement furniture for what he’s damaged.
Bill him, payment within 3 working days.

And then what? It’s just bluff

I don’t know where you got 7/8 yrs from. and it definitely wasn’t rent free. As for GS, he moved back with his mum when she finally got a house.

Your other thread (s)

What happens after three days?

I’m waiting with bated breath also!

Me too!