why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?

[CoursesForHorsesandMares]

Over the past years say like a decade maybe longer I have done lots of different activities including short courses. Initially (like many women who made a similar mistake!) I started out with wine tasting when I was in a dating mind set and I did it to try to meet some men and broaden my social circle. Of course as anyone who has done this will tell you, wine tasting is 99% women trying to meet men who arent there!

Since then I've done lots of different courses for things I was interested in learning - not to meet guys -but a comment on a different thread (about walking groups) made me think that actually all of these courses are just women -maybe you get one or two men but in every case it is hugely dispropotionate weighting. This covers a really wide range of subjects from lots of varied providers - art based courses, computer based courses, acting courses, language course, comedy courses, wine tasting I've mentioned, street skating, skiiing, climbing. Even the ones that are less stereotypically 'female' - same thing again - almost all women.

Doesn't matter what the subject is - it's always women and not just single women with very few men. If you have a group of say 10 or 15, usually one man maybe two. Why is this? Is it women who are just interested in learning? Or is there something else? It's really strange because the law of averages should dictate a greater male attendance. I'm not saying 50:50 but maybe even 60:40 is so far away.

Why is it so disproportionate? What are men never doing these kinds of things?

The only course I’ve done as an adult was calligraphy. Women and men were pretty equal and the tutor was a man.

I think it’s probably because a lot of men genuinely don’t think they need to learn anything!

I've done some of these classes and it's been far more balanced than you've experienced.

Perhaps it's just where you live?

I'm in London, for reference.

this seems unlikely, I thought all the stats say women have less leisure time than men on average?

I agree it’s usually women; my philosophy is that often men are less likely to want to learn in a classroom type setting; they’re also happy to do things on their own more often. Somehow women are more keen to do things in groups.

I do tons of leisure activities and it's always more women than men. Way more

It only took 2 posts for the manhating to start!
Classic Mumsnet!🤣

I think men, especially middle aged men, are far less social.

Spot on🤣

My personal view is that if a man wants to do an activity, they will just start doing it. They aren’t going to pay for and attend a course to learn a hobby. It’s something with how they are socialised or wired- and I think the fact men tend to not read the instructions for anything you need to assemble while women do is part of the same phenomenon.

Men are rarely inclined to join things.

The ones that work. There is still a 5% employment gap between men and women.

You're using a peculiar definition of hate.

I have anecdotally experienced this too (not all men etc etc) - but why? Are they shy? Just don't like people? My husband says this sometimes (like '99% of people aren't worth talking too' - I definitely disagree) but I then wonder if that's just an excuse? But maybe I can't understand because I am just naturally social?

I do painting, drawing and a language course. There are one or two men in each class and about 15 women. Mostly retired.

I do some outdoor volunteer work though and that’s pretty evenly split.

Maybe men are more likely to learn from YouTube as it’s free and use their money and time on other things.

Possibly a stereotype but maybe men are more likely to join other groups to meet women ? For example cycling, gyms and running are very popular with MN partners and men.

It's not man hating, it's the truth. Many academic studies have shown that men tend, more than women, to think they can just go ahead and do something rather than learn how to do it first. It's due to evolution- men had to take risks to hunt for food.

An example of this is when a man reads a job spec he will apply even though he may not meet all the criteria. Women tend to not apply if they feel they don't meet 100% of the criteria. Obviously this is to womens detriment.

It is often defined ( by men usually!) as men being confident and women being underconfident but it's much deeper than that.

This has been mostly in London ( but not all )which is how I've had access to so many options.

@MrsSkylerWhite I've done calligraphy and again all women. I think you must have had an anomolous group with a 50/50 split. I wonder whether the tutor's sex makes a difference but my calligraphy was with a man.

My personal view is that if a man wants to do an activity, they will just start doing it. They aren’t going to pay for and attend a course to learn a hobby. It’s something with how they are socialised or wired- and I think the fact men tend to not read the instructions for anything you need to assemble while women do is part of the same phenomenon.

@LoremIpsumCici - actually that is a very interesting theory. Makes me think of Andy Murray and his recently publicised skiing exploits. Why not just have a couple of lessons?!

https://talksport.com/tennis/2924867/andy-murray-skiing-emergency-rescue/

The activities I do have always been more men than women - but they are not courses. There may be some socialisation aspect as men do learn formally in male only environments like the men’s shed. Also where men are the dominant career / bread winner ( whixh is still the norm) there can be more pressure and more continuous learning during work which might make such activities less attractive

@wherearemypastnames
The activities I do have always been more men than women - but they are not courses

What sort of activities are you talking about? Sports?

My swim/ exercise class has 18 women and two men.
🤷‍♀️

I wonder if it's something about women in general being more social and group focussed so they attend a group for group as much as they do to learn.

And as we age I think there's a stereotype of the woman in early retirement out doing lots of stuff, while the men retreat a bit. Get stuck in a routine. I think there are more women frustrated with checked out retired husbands than the other way round. Although that may be partly because it's often the man who is older.

I also wonder if it's partly driven by women being the primary carer for children - still! Kids get older and responsibilities lessen. That's a prompt for a woman to say 'Great! I'm taking up life drawings classes on Tuesday evenings.' For the man whose life was less affected by kids that change never happens. Usual disclaimer that this is not universal but I'm still seeing it in my generation. (40s)

I've actually hosted courses and events and it's mostly women that sign up with one or two men who usually drop out after a few sessions. Maybe they feel embarrassed at being a minority or maybe they're pissed off because they haven't pulled.

Sport. I hypothesise that the ratio will be reversed when it comes to watching / playing sport as a leisure activity. That’s where more men are spending their time. If you want to meet men, go to watch QPR on a Saturday afternoon and spend the evening in the Defector’s Weld pub afterwards (other teams / pubs are available).

I am very social and deeply interested in people.
DH isnt because his job is peoply. His interests are mostly solitary. He doesnt hate people but he doesnt seek them out. He's not shy; if he does have to go to a party he chats with everyone. Most of my friends' husbands are the same way.