why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?

[CoursesForHorsesandMares]

Over the past years say like a decade maybe longer I have done lots of different activities including short courses. Initially (like many women who made a similar mistake!) I started out with wine tasting when I was in a dating mind set and I did it to try to meet some men and broaden my social circle. Of course as anyone who has done this will tell you, wine tasting is 99% women trying to meet men who arent there!

Since then I've done lots of different courses for things I was interested in learning - not to meet guys -but a comment on a different thread (about walking groups) made me think that actually all of these courses are just women -maybe you get one or two men but in every case it is hugely dispropotionate weighting. This covers a really wide range of subjects from lots of varied providers - art based courses, computer based courses, acting courses, language course, comedy courses, wine tasting I've mentioned, street skating, skiiing, climbing. Even the ones that are less stereotypically 'female' - same thing again - almost all women.

Doesn't matter what the subject is - it's always women and not just single women with very few men. If you have a group of say 10 or 15, usually one man maybe two. Why is this? Is it women who are just interested in learning? Or is there something else? It's really strange because the law of averages should dictate a greater male attendance. I'm not saying 50:50 but maybe even 60:40 is so far away.

Why is it so disproportionate? What are men never doing these kinds of things?

Or maybe they're not as desperate!

Is going to a choir or a book club or a walking group desperate? I don't see it that way.
I know that on MN one can't admit to liking people. I like people though.
And I have a lot of energy, now I am done with childcare.

I think there’s a lot of truth to this.

I (my horse) recently broke a leather head collar - my OH decided he wanted to have a go at fixing it so went and watched a number of YouTube videos, bought a leather making kit for about £70 and some leather and made a band to replace the old one. Then he made a couple of wallets and then he made this handbag for his mum

he did look for an evening course but the ones he found were either miles away or didn’t start for several months. And all were (totally fairly!) many more times as much as he spent on all the stuff he needed to actually do it

Men are already more inclined to have interest like sport, etc, where they have friends or acquaintances to socialise with. For example going to the pub to watch football or rugby.

Organised sport can be very male biased. So many more men play golf, football, cycling, rugby and cricket.

Sporty ones do cycling with other men less sporty ones watch rugby in groups at rugby ground or in pubs - looking at the men in my demographic anyway.

More or less, yes. Cities have more office jobs. I'm sure google will have more info, but it's a real thing.

Sadly not 😂😂😂 His doctor recommended it following his knee replacement 😂😂😂 He was a lovely man though.

I think you could be right, they know it all already 😂

But also, in my experience, women tend to have more get-up-and-go to try new things. A lot of men tend to languish in their comfort zones (well, that's certainly true of my DH anyway 😄, but also other men I've known.)

Sad reply

In a previous job at an FE college, I attended the open evening primarily aimed at attracting new teenage students who usually rock up with parents.

My job was to talk to the parents about not letting the DC grab all the learning opportunities, how about them? We had every kind of course you can imagine, from plumbing to astronomy.

The women would usually look quite interested and take a brochure or want to chat. The men I approached looked at me like I had suggested shitting in their shoes.

Really striking difference. I can only conclude the men didn’t consider there was any room for self improvement.

All women work. In paid employment and then by holding up neo-liberal capitalism by doing most of the domestic work, caring work, child-rearing work that society would not function without. I think we should go on strike - permanently.

I think one explanation is that men generally are less proactive in socialising or trying new things.

Men in straight couples often rely on their DW or DP to organise their social life. So their time is filled. That’s why they can struggle more if bereaved or divorced.

Single men may not be proactive enough to enrol, would feel awkward (especially if it’s mainly women on the course) or choose other ways to socialise, e.g. play or watch sport, solitary pursuits like fishing or see friends socially or online.

Finally, men in couples may be more likely to work full-time, often in demanding jobs or long hours, so perhaps don’t feel they have the time or energy to go to courses.

If the courses you’ve been on have mainly been retired women, I think retired men can struggle more. Again, if in a couple, they do things with their DP. If alone, they may not do much, do solitary things (gardening, fishing etc) or socialise other ways.

I think if you joined a golf or cycling club the ratios would be very different

My ex was like this though. In his mind learning equated to job-related training, and that was the only learning that had any purpose or value for an adult. Tbf though, he is (or certainly was) someone with a particularly 'fixed' view of life.

(I was working in academia when I was with him, so we weren't exactly a match made in heaven. 😄)

Back in the day I tried a jive dancing course - I wanted to do it anyway but sort of hoped I might meet someone.
It turned out absolutely everyone else was already in a couple.

One of my gym classes is 50/50. The other is 80% women. No idea why.

I'm not really one for joining classes, because I can't commit. I like to learn things by myself. However, I'm a member of a large book group (not a single man!) And a sports team. My other hobbies are individual ones though.

Dh has never been part of anything. But we do go to a lot of gigs, together and separately, and always get chatting to people.

My aqua class is 6 men out of 55!

I have done several language classes over the last few years and it's been very equal. My current class has more men than women.

I have always thought that single women are better at getting out there and doing things than single men are, and not just to meet a partner, but to learn something and be sociable.

it's possible that single men are worried they will be outnumbered by needy women!

I think it's well established that men lose testosterone as they get older and want to ' nest'. Meanwhile women lose oestrogen- the caring hormone- and want to escape the nest.

Russian art history class, 50/50.

This is pretty much dh and me! Kids are teens and I have weekends back. Demanding job though, so nothing that involves brain power after work.

When I became single again aged 30 I joined the gym but the men there were only interested in themselves and I also took up flying lessons as I used to test my boss who was doing his licence. I thought I might meet someone there but they were all old men. I did date a builder with a pilots licence who also built kit planes but he was controlling and loved other women. Other courses or hobbies I’ve done after I remarried were all women. I became a Homestart volunteer and did Zumba. I think if you want to meet a man it’s internet dating or find religion and go to church. Not sure where they all hang out these days.

I have done two painting classes. One was about 50-50. The other there was only one man.

One factor is women living longer. I volunteer for a charity and the typical volunteer is a woman over 50 who lives alone.

Yes I know about different types of work.

However, my comment is to clarify the statistic on women having less leisure time than men. This statistic specifically applies to women in paid work vs men in paid work because the women in paid work do their job plus what a stay at home wife/mother does.