why only women mostly do these things? what do men do?

[CoursesForHorsesandMares]

Over the past years say like a decade maybe longer I have done lots of different activities including short courses. Initially (like many women who made a similar mistake!) I started out with wine tasting when I was in a dating mind set and I did it to try to meet some men and broaden my social circle. Of course as anyone who has done this will tell you, wine tasting is 99% women trying to meet men who arent there!

Since then I've done lots of different courses for things I was interested in learning - not to meet guys -but a comment on a different thread (about walking groups) made me think that actually all of these courses are just women -maybe you get one or two men but in every case it is hugely dispropotionate weighting. This covers a really wide range of subjects from lots of varied providers - art based courses, computer based courses, acting courses, language course, comedy courses, wine tasting I've mentioned, street skating, skiiing, climbing. Even the ones that are less stereotypically 'female' - same thing again - almost all women.

Doesn't matter what the subject is - it's always women and not just single women with very few men. If you have a group of say 10 or 15, usually one man maybe two. Why is this? Is it women who are just interested in learning? Or is there something else? It's really strange because the law of averages should dictate a greater male attendance. I'm not saying 50:50 but maybe even 60:40 is so far away.

Why is it so disproportionate? What are men never doing these kinds of things?

They don't hang out much in churches. The one I go to is practically all women, with none or two older men and one middle aged one. Some men accompany their wives to church but the people who run everything are all women.

When I was a barmaid, in the very distant past, I would often call in for a pint by myself. But I guess it was different, because I always knew someone in there.
I still think women by themselves in pubs are seen as waiting for someone, rather than wanting to sit and have a pint. It's like one of the last places where we're still outsiders.

Are women looking for friends more than men are? I will actively search for groups to find new friends while dh is happy with a solo hike or bike ride.

Not on MN, no...😀 Here it's all I hate people I never want to leave the house everbody irritates me etc etc.
IRL I think some do.

I've attended a few random courses and groups, because I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people (most of the time...).

Whilst hubs does like learning new skills, he's definitely someone who'd rather visit YouTube and just have a go. He generally says he's antisocial 🤣 but I also think he's of the opinion that he can just give something a go, and not need an in person tutor for it.

My dad is very sociable, but I've never know him join a group or course for things!

I think it's that the op is talking about classes. Men do things, they just don't want anyone to teach them how to do them.

Dh and I are thinking of taking up a new sport. Neither of us have played it before and neither of us know much about it. I suggested that we start with a beginners lesson to see how it goes. There is no way he will go to a lesson, even if it's a private lesson for just the two of us. He is under the impression that he can just start playing. If only we all had the confidence of a middle aged white man.

I joined a book group which started with about 20 people of which one was a man. The worst thing was that whenever he spoke up (a lot) the other women were all ears at his pearls of predictable and dull wisdom. So depressing.

The probably do it to make friends and socialise, as it's really hard to do this when you are 40-45+ especially. Also, some women want a break from their man, and the children, and a few hours a week doing their own thing.......

Men do the same, but with golf, fishing, cycling, and football - and going down the pub!

I think women are maybe more up for trying something new and less worried about people judging it or something? Like, for many men there may be a strong sense that sport is the only acceptable hobby and everything else is a bit ... girly and therefore unacceptable or weird for them?

That's a good example of how men socialise - dad bands. They are learning but it's group self-led. It's as though they don't like someone else knowing more than them.

Yep. Far be it from me to join in with any man bashing,😆 But in the 'social groups' I have been in, (that have been largely female,) the one or two men in the groups have been proper fucking know-it-alls. Mansplaining, acting like women are beneath them, and loving the sound of their own tedious voice.

Seriously, no wonder so many women want to be at female only pursuits. There is a female only session at my DD's gym, and a couple of men she knows, are proper miffed that there isn't a 'male only' session. There's a reason why there are female only things. MEN. (Some men!)

In my 40s I was in 2 walking groups, one was connected to a singles group, and the other was a straight forward fell walking group. They were both pretty evenly divided between sexes, although there were more men in the fell walking group. I enjoyed the straight forward fell walking group much more, the singles group had definite meat market vibes which made me uncomfortable.

Wrong type of courses! I’m doing engineering based courses and skills and it’s easily 10:1 men - women. It doesn’t matter if it’s an accredited course or leisure course though.

I’m surrounded by blokes but this isn’t the place to meet for dates. I’m here to learn how to make cool stuff

Maybe the men's wives don't let them go to events with so many women ... [/sarcasm ends].

Totally agree. I'm at a stage where I'd like to meet someone new, not in bars etc as I don't have childcare, and have found the same.

Join a walking club, someone advised! So I did, and there are some men there, but they are all 60's, 70's plus, as are most of the women there. Nothing wrong with that, I have older friends, but no good for broadening horizons to potentially date.

I joined a beginners pickleball course in January. The split is about 55% female 45% male. DH's response was 'you joined a class where you know no-one?'. Well yes, that's how exercise classes often go.

I think men will often decide to do something because they want to for a particular reason ( say cycling to get fit or whatever) whereas women may prefer the social side .They may work long hours in their jobs ,more women still work PT hours than men I expect

Your local chess club will be 99.9% men, but chess isn't the most social activity, and clubs are for playing, not teaching.

Maybe motorbikes, bike & accessory shops are full of men at weekend and bikers congregate outside a country pub near me every weekends spring and summer. Probably 90% men plus! But I'd be out of my depth with motorbikes 😂

That's not my experience. I have done languages, sewing, knitting, art and jewellery making short courses at different institutions. The only courses with majority women were knitting and sewing, but there were men on both.
I wasn't doing any of the courses to meet a man as I'm happily married, but the bonus is I've made some lovely friends who I keep in touch with.

It’s a shame Maplin has gone. That’s used to be jammed full of men, like a city centre man warehouse. All of them looking at wire and resistors.

I'm not sure I buy that it's an innate gender difference. The last time I joined a "random" class that wasn't one of my interests already, it was a street dance class - definitely about 50/50 in the beginners' group. When I play tennis, there are always group social lessons taking place on the courts next to me that seem fairly evenly balanced.

I do wonder whether it's connected to who maintains their hobbies through their 30s and 40s. MN seems full of women who dropped their hobbies when they had kids, or never had any in the first place. They're the perfect demographic for taking up something new in their 50s and beyond. Meanwhile most men know what they like to do by their 30s and by and large stick at it, unless there's a specific self-improvement angle like getting fit, getting better at cooking etc.

The men are all cycling.

Choirs are mainly women.

Not in my village. Or my local market town. Church choir is half men and half women, market town choir is 60% women, and 40% men.