Mum keeps saying my dog is getting older

[Chipsfritesbatatas]

She says it so often, aibu to find it a bit upsetting?

We rescued her as a pup and she’s now 12, but still in good health, fairly energetic, but obviously slowed down from when she was younger (she was v hyper)
Every time mum visits, she’ll say how she’s getting older, even when my dd face times her, she’ll ask how our dog is and say she’s getting old now.

I don’t really want to be reminded of it 😔

Can you tell her to stop?

Ask her to stop saying it. Your dog could have another 4 years yet - my lovely girl lived to 16.

"Yes mum - so are you"

I’ve jokingly said a couple of times ‘Can you stop saying that’

Why does she persist, surely she must realise it’s not the nicest thing to hear.

Perfect answer.

Aww, Dh’s childhood dog was 21! Realise that’s rare there though, can’t bear the thought of it, would prefer not to dwell on it tbh!

Can’t really say that but I take your point!

"Yes, mum...we're all getting older " ...

Is it because they are trying to mentally prepare themselves? I have a nearly 13 year old big dog and I'm saying to myself realistically he probably won't be here this time next year. I'll miss him massively but it's easier for me to start preparing my head now. Also they'll notice the slowing down more than you if they only see your dog occassionally as opposed to every day. Dogs definitely don't live long enough.

Do you think maybe she knows it will really impact you when your dog dies so this is her way of trying to address it? In a rubbish way…

Either way, I would just ask her how she felt if someone constantly pointed out she or someone she loved was close to death, because they were older, even in good health?

My DD3 keeps asking me if my Grandma is going to die soon (she’s 99 next week!) fairly cute and innocuous at that age, not so much from a grown up.

She’s only saying that she’s getting older. It’s a fact. I can’t say I could possibly get upset about this. If she said something like your dog looks like it will be dead next week then I’d get it but it’s such a non event.

Follow it up by asking her opinions on the assisted dying bill.

Ah god I feel this! My FiL does it to me about my old boy (12 like yours!). We rescued him when he was 4-ish.
i find myself getting really defensive and listing all the things he still loves and does.

I like @AchNo response 😂 might have to try that!

Why can't you? You can form the words...

''God! Stop telling me my dog's getting old will you!? You say it every single time we speak! ....''

We are allowed to show annoyance towards our parents you know OP.

Maybe she can't wait for you to be more available to look after her... Cynical but my nan had a thing about dogs being a tie, and she definitely didn't give a monkey's when our family dog died as it freed us up to see her more often.

Tell her that literally everyone and everything alive right now is getting older

I have one that is 17.5.

so I am puzzled why your mum keeps going on about a 12 year old dog - unless it is a big or giant breed as they do tend to have shorter lives.

But why do you think he won’t be here this time next year 😔 mine is 12 and I don’t think that about next year…I really hope not 😩
I sometimes wonder if she’s sort of trying to prepare us? She doesn’t need to though, i’m very aware of it

She’s just medium sized, she’s slowed down a little but still loves her walks, running, catching the ball, swimming in the sea and lakes

OP I feel your pain I have a breed, Bernese and it seems the only fact random strangers know is that they don't live long, that's after they have called them a St Bernard!

So I get the same but from randoms... "oh they don't live long do they" said in front of me the kids the pub.

It's like fuck off, they have short "average spans" as they are cancerous but I have a 7 & 4 year old and god save me if anyone else says it to me.

It's rude and I'd say can you just stop please, as an aside they can live to double digits and I've known a few hit 13-14

That’s an unkind thing for her to say. Acquaintances started telling me my lab was getting old at around 11. One woman suggested I probably had 6 months at most.
In the event he was 14 when he died. Still not old enough for me, but he proved them wrong.

I would probably tell her to stop wishing the dogs life away. Tell her she is being hurtful and that you are well aware that the dog is aging.

Say - yes - I know how time works - no need to remind me everytime you come.

She's trying to help you let go.

⁷But it's mumsnet so yet more older mum and MIL bashing.

My mum did this with my dog. Every time I went to stay with her, she'd say I don't suppose I'll see him again. Really pissed me off, as I didn't want to hear it tbh. In the end, he lived 'til 15 & a half so proved everybody wrong! Ignore her, or just say 'I don't need to hear that - I'm well aware of her age, thank you.' Hope she lives a long & happy life x