Mum keeps saying my dog is getting older

[Chipsfritesbatatas]

She says it so often, aibu to find it a bit upsetting?

We rescued her as a pup and she’s now 12, but still in good health, fairly energetic, but obviously slowed down from when she was younger (she was v hyper)
Every time mum visits, she’ll say how she’s getting older, even when my dd face times her, she’ll ask how our dog is and say she’s getting old now.

I don’t really want to be reminded of it 😔

YANBU, it is upsetting as it reminds you of how short dog's lives are.
I was on holiday with my dog, and a man came over to say hello. My dog is a greyhound, and he said he used to race them (I don't agree with that, but I just smiled and nodded). My dog was 10 at the time. He said that she had another year left in her yet. She is nearly 15 now. Every day is a blessing.

I nearly lost my dog last year (had her booked in to be PTS), and my mum came to see us. She led on the floor with my dog and had a chat. I left her to it but caught some bits about my dog seeing her own dogs who had passed. My mum left in tears. It was awful.

The dog could live another 4-6 years. What's the point of "letting go" now, while it's still healthy and active?

the op doesn’t remotely need “help to let go” of a dog who may well be around for years ffs! These comments would be a pain who ever was saying them.
(I’m over 60, I’m aware of ageism on MN but this isn’t an example - except, probably prematurely, to the dog!)

I found this thread interesting. I regularly mention my dog's age (9). I can't fathom life without him and dread him getting older. I can't celebrate his birthdays. Mentioning it is my way of facing the pain head on. Of course, that's about my own dog rather than other people's but still. It was useful to read other perspectives on this.

Why can't you?? We're all getting older!!

🤣

I do the same with my dogs. Anticipatory grief I think it's called.

When my sister got married, my aunt would poke me and say "you're next".
I did the same to her at my gran's funeral, and she was not happy 😆

Yes, it is a thing. I get it all the time with my dog. I have found myself in floods of tears at the thought of her one day not being here. Sometimes, when she is in another room, I think that this is what it will be like.

Yes, I regularly cry about it too (privately).

OP is a grown woman, not a 6 year old about to lose their first pet.

I doubt she'd appreciate it if OP decided to help her mum get used to the idea of old age and dying by asking if she's made funeral plans or written her will or given any thought to moving to a property better suited to someone with the type of physical infirmity that comes with age or LPAs etc. It is causing her daughter unnecessary distress.

Oh wow even more 🤣

Fantastic😂

🤣🤣 I actually see no reason why you cannot give this response. You could also add "so are we all" on to it.

Said it n a jokey but firm way, it is fine and should get the point across. It might have the desired effect of stopping her rubbing your nose in the fact that your dog is getting older. No dog owner wants to hear that and it is very tactless of her.

Just enjoy your lovely dog. Ignore her daft comments.

Nah, fuck that, I'd have had enough by now and been rude.

My sister did this for a bit over one of our dogs and eventually I asked her if she genuinely thought we weren't aware, weren't monitoring him, weren't dreading the day we had to let him go... and if not, could she please shut the fuck up unless asked to offer her opinion.

She did belt up, I think she just thought it was small talk, something to say or just didn't think at all (most likely, she really has little grasp on how others feel unless it is pointed out to her!).

So yeah, I'd give her the 'I think the same about you each time I see you...' and let it hang. She'll get it!

I’d stop responding. It’s just Life. Wondered if your mum has dementia or similar- it sounds an odd thing to keep bringing up, unless you are struggling with Ddogs health and often talking about it or trying to make decisions.

When your mum says it again reply "aren't we all" or "we all are". See what she says.

I'd of replied to the strangers "why would you say that in front of children".

My mum often comments on other people getting older ( not quite the same I realise) It irritates me a bit, and I say yes it happens to the best of us! Every time. I'm never quite sure what she actually expects me to say.

Some people just have a negative attitude - is she like that? My MIL often commented on something that might go wrong on our forthcoming holiday - weather might be bad; might be too hot; too much driving around etc. I used to push back - we’re all fine with long journeys, we’ll go swimming if it rains etc. But it was annoying.

Ha ha! I remember seeing this as a meme on Facebook years ago 😂
Haven't gotten round to using it in real life yet. What did your aunt say? 🤣

It didn't work so now it's time to say it seriously. 'Seriously mum, i don't want you saying that anymore. You're upsetting me.'

She doesn’t need to “let go”. The dog is in good health and could live for years yet.

If anyone’s being ageist, it’s the OP’s mum (towards a dog, no less), constantly harping on about the animal’s age because it’s no longer young.

Yes don’t say it jokingly.

‘Mum when you say dog is getting old I feel upset and sad. It reminds me dog is going to die and I need to not be reminded of that. Could you not say it anymore please’

My DD does this every time she comes home, I find it upsetting too. She points out how much more grey he is.