Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit worried about going to someone's house where they have massive dogs?

85 replies

blubberball · 14/03/2025 06:43

We've been invited to a garden party, but I'm not sure how to get across my concerns about the massive dogs my friend had last time we were there. I don't see her very often, so I'm not sure how many dogs she currently has, but last time I was there, there were 2 huge bully type dogs. It was just us, so I was able to stay calm and was able to keep the dogs calm. This time, it's going to be a party with at least 20 people I imagine, and I just have this gut feeling that it could be a recipe for disaster. I love animals, and I'm generally not scared of dogs, but just read so many stories about bully dogs killing people. I can't get the image out of my head of how they lock their jaws on to something (or someone), and violently shake and don't let go. I don't want to offend her, but how would other people handle this situation?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 14/03/2025 06:49

I wouldn’t go.

Doingmybest12 · 14/03/2025 06:49

I wouldn't go or I'd ask if the dogs will be out. I'm happy to tell people I'm a bit scared of dogs even though I've had dogs. Most sensible people understand and if they don't even pretend to understand I'd not go.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 14/03/2025 06:49

I love dogs but would not go to this if these dogs were there. I saw a big dog attack a child when I was a child and so am cautious of breeds with known reputations.

we have a sweet fluff ball of a dog and she is taken to a dog sitter or my mums id we have parties. Parties / lots of people in the home are upsetting for most dogs so most people would arrange dog care I think.

I’d ask if she’s found someone to dog sit for the party…
and if she said no or she doesn’t need one as dogs will be there I’d move the conversation on.

for the event itself I’d cancel for whatever plausible but uncheckable reason you like.

autisticbookworm · 14/03/2025 06:51

If they are not good with people and won’t be kept separate then don’t go, it doesn’t sound fun.

Pootles34 · 14/03/2025 06:53

Nah I wouldn't go if they're bully types. I just don't trust the judgement of someone who chooses to get a dog like that.

LoveWine123 · 14/03/2025 07:13

Is there a reason you are nervous about these specific dogs? Were they aggressive last time you went, difficult to control, have they given you any reason to be afraid? If not, it just seems a bit strange to be afraid.

Why don’t you ask her what the arrangements are for the dogs because you are nervous? Then you can decide what to do based on her attitude (I.e. dismissive or if she has thought about it carefully). To be fair, you don’t know if the dogs are a bully breed or if they just look like that to you. Again worth asking? I think if your friend feels it is safe to invite 20 people then she most likely doesn’t consider the dogs to be a problem.

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 14/03/2025 07:21

I think if your friend feels it is safe to invite 20 people then she most likely doesn’t consider the dogs to be a problem

Well none of these owners thought their dog was a problem…..until it was a problem.

GiveMeSpanakopita · 14/03/2025 07:24

Ask her if she will keep the dogs indoors or tied up.

I have lots of garden gathering when the weather's good and keep my dogs tethered to a pole. Most dogs, especially if they're sociable, will be all over the place and stimulated by all the people / food smells, so it's just safer and easier that way.

Original poster
blubberball · 14/03/2025 07:26

They seemed nice enough last time I was there, and I don't know exactly what they are. All I know is that they are huge and muscular, and if they decided to go for someone, there would be nothing any one could do. I have anxiety about their potential power, strength and aggression. I love animals, but I just don't think it's a good idea to have pets that can potentially overpower adults.

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 14/03/2025 07:26

Yes, my giant breed dog is absolutely massive....and a big dopey softy that just lies there and does nothing ALL DAY LONG 🤣

Absolutely frightening (if you get covered in slobber, that is - there's loads of it).

TheWonderhorse · 14/03/2025 07:27

I would consider the dogs a key reason for attending and the 20 people might put me off 🤣

Original poster
blubberball · 14/03/2025 07:28

Then to put into the mix a relaxed crowd of people getting pissed up, and I just can see a disaster happening. I have anxiety about these risks. You know like when there's a pond in someone's garden, and there's a family gathering, everyone thinks another person is keeping an eye on the kids and one falls in the pond.

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 14/03/2025 07:36

So the problem isn’t the bully dogs (you really should avoid claiming them to be that when you don’t know what they are), it is that you have anxiety about large dogs. If this is the case, you absolutely should feel free to not attend.

Personally I would be looking to get some help with this issue as this seems to be preventing you from enjoying nice, social occasions with your friends.

TurnThatLightOn · 14/03/2025 07:37

LoveWine123 · 14/03/2025 07:13

Is there a reason you are nervous about these specific dogs? Were they aggressive last time you went, difficult to control, have they given you any reason to be afraid? If not, it just seems a bit strange to be afraid.

Why don’t you ask her what the arrangements are for the dogs because you are nervous? Then you can decide what to do based on her attitude (I.e. dismissive or if she has thought about it carefully). To be fair, you don’t know if the dogs are a bully breed or if they just look like that to you. Again worth asking? I think if your friend feels it is safe to invite 20 people then she most likely doesn’t consider the dogs to be a problem.

It's not at all strange to be nervous of large dogs, and especially on their own territory. It's unfair to label people 'strange' just because their reactions don't coincide with one's own.

Original poster
blubberball · 14/03/2025 07:38

Well they're definitely bully type. I just thought that was an umbrella term for all bull dog breeds?

OP posts:
Original poster
blubberball · 14/03/2025 07:41

I love animals, but I think that I now have anxiety about any large, predatory animals that have the potential to overpower adults. Especially in uncontrolled situations.

OP posts:
Serpentstooth · 14/03/2025 07:42

LoveWine123 · 14/03/2025 07:13

Is there a reason you are nervous about these specific dogs? Were they aggressive last time you went, difficult to control, have they given you any reason to be afraid? If not, it just seems a bit strange to be afraid.

Why don’t you ask her what the arrangements are for the dogs because you are nervous? Then you can decide what to do based on her attitude (I.e. dismissive or if she has thought about it carefully). To be fair, you don’t know if the dogs are a bully breed or if they just look like that to you. Again worth asking? I think if your friend feels it is safe to invite 20 people then she most likely doesn’t consider the dogs to be a problem.

Has OP any reason to feel like this? Hmm, wonder what it could be? Maybe the number of fatal dog attacks by what she perceives to be similar breeds? Stay safe OP, stay home.

Lighteningstrikes · 14/03/2025 07:42

Don‘t put yourself in a potentially very dangerous situation.

If she’s got any sense (these people haven’t, because they treat these dogs like their harmless babies) she would lock them up in a secure room.

Yirk · 14/03/2025 07:43

Just don't go, !

Gundogday · 14/03/2025 07:44

I wouldn’t go.

A large Old English sheepdog or Leonberger, fine. A bully type - no.

9fthighfence · 14/03/2025 07:46

I’d not go

LoveWine123 · 14/03/2025 07:47

Serpentstooth · 14/03/2025 07:42

Has OP any reason to feel like this? Hmm, wonder what it could be? Maybe the number of fatal dog attacks by what she perceives to be similar breeds? Stay safe OP, stay home.

Show quote history

But surely then the obvious answer is not to go? If the dogs are so dangerous why is there even a question of going?

Loubylie · 14/03/2025 07:47

Don't go and explain to your friend that you're wary of bull breeds. Nothing unusual about that and perfectly understandable.

Itchybritches · 14/03/2025 07:48
Celebrate Happy Birthday GIF by Sealed With A GIF

Mumsnet, either you’re drunk or I’m drunk (unlikely at this time of the morning) but why the F is there a dog gif appearing in my post 😂🤣🤣

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 14/03/2025 07:53

Just tell her you are nervous of the dogs' so won't be able to attend, they might tell you the dogs are going to be in another room/outhouse for the time you are there. Or they may be going to a dog sitter? If not then you have been honest