What do you think of this family house rule?

[Porcell]

People in the house are not allowed to come downstairs in the morning without being fully dressed/clean and moderately groomed.

This does not apply to school kids during the week. But at the weekends/school holidays memebers of the household are not allowed to be in pyjamas. They can veg out on the sofa but they have to be groomed and in clean clothes. Trackies are allowed.

Good lord, I’d really fail. Unless I’m going out I stay in my pj’s all day. I mainly wfh and if I’m on a video call I’ll brush my hair and change into a top for it. Then I change straight back to comfy pj top after🤣. So, one top would get me through 1/2 working weeks. I’m equally productive working in normal clothes, pj’s or indeed a swimsuit. In fact more productive as I use the time I would have otherwise used to get changed and do face etc to do extra work.

I only get changed, if I need to go out. Get back in the door and change straight into pj’s, hair up in a bed top knot.

If I got up, got dressed, my kids would say ‘where are you going’. If I said nowhere, they would be so puzzled🤣.

So if you've had a bath or shower before bed and put on clean PJ's you can't go downstairs for a drink?

Our household was v much like this. You wouldn't catch an̈y of us in our pjs in the kitchen or living room in the daytime unless we were ill. Had to be dressed to answer the door etc etc.
I'm more relaxed now I have my own family but still struggle to answer the door to the postie etc as worry they'll judge me as lazy or sloth-like if still in bedwear past 9am.
I went to see an ex friend once and she was still in her pjs at 11am, it's not why she's an ex friend but I knew she knew it didn't look good.
My dd stays in her pjs at weekends if she's not going out and I admire her relaxed attitude but I know at my parents' house we get a lot of "are you not dressed yet?!" comments if it's coming up to 10am etc

You are making your love and acceptance of your children feel conditional. “Only if your are clean and presentable!”

How lovely for a child or teen to immerge all snuggly and disheveled from their beds, and to be embraced as adoringly as ever, and accepted fully.

The conversations about mental health and being set up for the day can happen alongside this. It isn’t an all or nothing approach. If anything it is better for their mental health.

I think there's a massive difference between expecting to be dressed for breakfast and expecting to be dressed for lunch...
I like to have breakfast straight out of bed and yes, in messy pyjamas. As a teenager I was forced to get dressed first and it made the whole waking up experience awful every day. It's just a better start for the day for me to tumble out of bed, have breakfast, then head to the bathroom (after having got DC ready for nursery etc).

Being dressed by lunchtime doesn't feel like an unfair rule.

I kind of like it. Not as a household family rule, but as a rule for myself. I do tend to laze around in my jammies for ages on week which then makes it difficult to get my day started, so I’m going to try it for myself. Not the kids though. Hopefully they’ll see me do it and miraculously follow the trend.

Saying that, I don’t recall my mum ever being in her PJs or lounging around when I was a kid. She must have followed the same rule too. (No, it didn’t make me miraculously follow the trend!)

Sounds a good idea

Batshit crazy

My son's just got back from uni exhausted and I wouldn't dream of insisting on what he wears. He needs a couple of PJ days before he becomes human again!
He's independent enough without nonsensical rules about what he can and can't wear in his own house. Your home is supposed to be where you relax.

Controlling.

FFS

There is zero chance i would tolerate this. I would leave my partner if they suggested it. It is so controlling

Wouldn't work for me at all. I'm up early this morning so I went down to make coffee in my clothes I slept in (I don't own pyjamas) and have brought it back to bed with me. Then I'll have a shower, get dressed and go down for breakfast.

Normally it's up, breakfast and coffee in my "night clothes/dressing gown) then back upstairs to get ready.

Kids are always in their onesies until I tell them to get dressed.

I couldn't live in a house with rules around what clothes I was allowed to wear downstairs but we have pets so there are worse thing allowed on the furniture than people in their pyjamas.

I voted YABU, but now I’ve read all the replies it doesn’t seem that bad. A quick shower and sticking on some comfy joggers isn’t asking that much. I had a very different image in my head from the OP, but this isn’t being that unreasonable.
It hadn’t really occurred to me but that’s actually what I do. Get a cuppa in bed, shower, slouchy clothes then downstairs. The difference being my toddler is still in pj’s with last nights drool still stuck to his face 🤣

It's how I grew up pretty much but not quite as rigidly. I'm now 64.

I never, ever saw my grandma in her nightie, not even when she was in a nursing home, until she became bedbound.

My mum will make tea and breakfast in her dressing gown but is always dressed by about 8am (88). Whilst I wasn't expected to come down dressed on non school days, I was expected to get dressed after breakfast. If we had visitors we were washed and dressed.

I go downstairs in my dressing gown, feed the cats, empty the dishwasher, put on a load of washing, make a second round of tea (DH makes a very early one), and take tea and breakfast back to bed and footle on MNet for 40 minutes. Doing it now. Then I get washed and dressed and start the day. By about 7/7.15 Monday to Friday. When the DC were small, they used to have breakfast in their pyjamas in the family room, and dd always got dressed on the sofa, watching TV. It worked for us and kept their uniforms clean.

The DC tend to get dressed before going downstairs. DS's wife goes down in her Jim jams and dressing gown; I've never seen dd's bf in his pyjamas but he's from a very traditional family.

It's probably generational.

Hoover more?

I have a Beagle and I hoover a lot.

My ex's family were like this. I didn't know. I've stopped with other relatives and they've all mooched around having breakfast in their pyjamas.

The first time I stayed there, I wandered downstairs in my pyjamas in the morning. They were all dressed and his mother said to her husband "oh dear, YP has appeared in her pyjamas!" in the sort of tone as if I'd appeared in a thong and nipple clamps.

Just to add.

I think my teenager prefers me to hoover the dog hairs rather than stop him coming downstairs in his pyjamas.

Unless I’m going out I stay in my pj’s all day. I mainly wfh and if I’m on a video call I’ll brush my hair and change into a top for it. Then I change straight back to comfy pj top after🤣.

I also wfh but your strategy would not work for me. I am, er, well endowed and need my supportive undergarment.

“My parent made me get dressed every morning” is a fairly short therapy session unless it’s being enforced in a ridiculously strict and damaging way! As lots of people have said it might just be the natural routine of the house. We get up, dressed, make beds etc here before starting our day but we aren’t cosy day or PJ day people - every one of us functions better up, dressed and moving. No teens yet though so this may change! We also often come home and get into our pjs at teatime so maybe we are just as bad in reverse!

50 years ago was 1975 not 1875.

It certainly wasn't the rule in my house then, or now.

Ah but in this OP's house you're not allowed to go and make the tea and bring it back to bed first.

Different houses, different rules. Definitely was a rule in my house in 1975. Yes, many things have changed over the years so 100 years ago coming down to breakfast in pyjamas I don't think would ever have happened. Gradually these behaviours have been eroded.
I would imagine that more active households tend to be the get dressed type as it's more efficient.

We all do this I have just realised. Except the dog

I would argue the opposite.
For starters, who said anything about not giving love and cuddles in pyjamas, it just happens upstairs.
Secondly, building in an active approach to life is good for mental health. Down times can happen at the end of the day.
Accepted that I am an 'active type'. I can't remember the last time I chose to spend a whole day at home and on the rare occasions that it's been forced on me by bad weather, I make sure I don't waste it by getting on with something in the house.