To want 9s not 7s for my child in their GCSEs?

[ZeldaFighter]

Child is a model student and no problems with behaviour or attendance. Definitely seems intelligent and diligently completes homework, often without prompting.

Report is 6s and 7s. Husband is pleased and says they're As and Bs. He thinks only kids in private schools doing extended papers get 9s.

I got As, Bs and Cs many years ago but I always strived for As. AIBU to think they should be getting 9s or at least striving for them?

9’s, 7’s won’t make the slightest difference to their lives. After A levels nobody cares. After degree nobody cares about A levels. After ten years in work nobody cares about degree unless in a professional field where it matters.

Total nonsense

Your husband is completely wrong. I’ve only worked in mainstream and know loads of pupils who achieved 8s and 9s. A student getting 9s would be like an A** grade in old money. Very academic, good at evaluating their answers. Concise. Familiar with mark schemes and exam technique. It’s not just about being intelligence at this level.

I’ve spent decades recruiting people to top jobs. Latest was on a salary of £280k.. Without looking it up I couldn’t tell you what his GCSE’s were or his A Levels. Degree 2.1 from an ok university. I could tell you lots about his career in the last fifteen years however.

Sit with him a few times and help him with homework. You’ll quickly get a sense of what he’s capable of, then you can decide how much you need/want to do.

You seem sensible, trust your gut. You will make the right decisions.

It’s not about expecting those grades is it though, it’s the differ between settling and striving.

He’s only in year 10 and working at a 7. He could sit back on his heels and coast and be happy with that, or he could put more effort it and aim for higher.

Exams are unpredictable so you can’t put too much emphasis on results.

Lots of people saying ‘as long as they do their best’ etc. but what if they’re not doing their best?

There’s nothing wrong with instilling a desire to work hard and do as well as you can do.

There seems to be a disingenuous reverse snobbery on here that you shouldn’t encourage your children to push themselves.

That is not the same as expecting things they’re not capable of, or living out parent’s dreams. It’s about valuing effort.

I’ve been involved in recruiting hundreds of people to top professional services roles and we definitely take GCSE results into account as part of our application.

I’m definitely more impressed by applicants who’ve pushed themselves at GCSE rather than lazed about and scraped 7s.

This is true. But what matters often is mindset and attitude to work.

Not being that arsed is never high on the ideal candidate list.

Can you link to some of these studies? I can only find one study of people in their 20s, which agrees with your point but does not specify grades.

I am interested also if there is any evidence that getting 9s is better than getting 7s in terms of later happiness.

It's notwhat you want or are capable of. Please lay off with the pressure and leave them to it.

Behave will you. When my children were doing GCSEs (at a state school) we were told not to aim for 9s as they were considered to be unattainable. Of course my contrary child promptly got two 9s and all the rest were 8s. It’s not about extended papers etc.

But what you fail to grasp is that these marks have nothing to do with your child’s behaviour, attendance or diligence, but are purely based on how they perform in their exams. Your child can find a cure for cancer in their own spare time, but if they don’t answer the exam questions right, they won’t get good grades. End of.

YNBU at all. You want the best for your child. Let your child know how proud you are thus far!

@SeaSwim5 I’ve never heard of any such research, care to share some?

The longest study into happiness is from Harvard, it’s been going for decades. As far as I know, they don’t attribute happiness to academic success.

Your child is not you!

If you continue to pressure them your relationship with them will become problematic.

You could be influencing your child's thoughts about themselves and they may develop the idea they are not good enough. Be very careful!

How do you know they lazed about? Maybe they worked bloody hard to achieve 7s or had difficult circumstances or home lives.

Wow ! Let your child work to their own abilities, not you expectations.

As I said, it depends on the circumstances. I will be a lot more impressed by a DC at a sink school with terrible behaviour and teaching who manages a few 8s and 9s than someone at a private or Indy who lazes about and gets 7s despite all their advantages.

That’s the point. Which is why only the OP and her DC know what is real.

If the OP had said they were currently getting 3s and were capable of 5s the conversation would be very different, but the scenario is the same.

Some people work their arses off for 7s. Some can achieve them easily. That’s the OP’s whole point.

Here is one:https://www.theguardian.com/education/2024/feb/22/gcse-grades-a-good-predictor-of-life-chances-and-wellbeing-research-shows

GCSE grades have an excellent track record in predicting the future lives and careers of young adults, according to researchers, who found the exams were even more crucial for those from disadvantaged backgrounds.

“What we can definitely say is that GCSEs have a considerable impact on how your life develops into your early 20s, and that the benefits from GCSEs are over and above the education someone obtains later,” said Alexandra Starr, a post-doctoral researcher at the University of York and one of the study’s authors.

“The main message I would say is that GCSE grades are important in real life. We always talk about whether exams are only important within the education system, to climb the next rung in the educational ladder. But it’s also important beyond that.”

Is this before or after the change from letters to numbers bexause I agree that the letter system of A* A B C did do that. But actually an A was good and seen as being something to aspire to

the problem is here that by further breaking it down to 7,8 and 9 7 is no longer seen as being a good outcome by some

but given that the number of pupils who got all 9s looks to be 1270 out of 677000 (around 0.2%)
that is an awful lot pupils not getting all 9s

getting a 7 and above should be an achievement getting a 4 and above also should - this is a system when around 30% fail

www.gov.uk/government/publications/infographic-gcse-results-2024/infographics-for-gcse-results-2024-accessible

How would you be able to tell how hard they worked?

I'd be happy for my DS to get any GCSEs but given the percentage at his school of above 5s is 0% I'll be whistling into the wind.
Count your blessings.

Is your child happy with their grades? Didn't the teachers mention if they thought your child should be aiming higher. My DC has been getting 7 8 and 9s since starting secondary now in yr10 is getting 9s and 8s I never help them. Did help sibling get 7s in gcse as they needed help every child is different all you can do is ask if they need help and be there incase they do.

IMO 7s are absolutely fine and there is so much more to life! Grades are only part of a 'successful life'. Studies have repeatedly shown that social skills, networking, and a passion for something have far more impact on success and happiness, than just getting top grades.

My child is nowhere near exam age yet so I’m not really sure how the grading system works these days but to hopefully offer you some reassurance, I was the middle child, I was naturally academically gifted but unlike the sound of your middle child I was incredibly lazy and did no homework or revision and ended up with B’s pretty much across the board. This was good enough for me to do the A levels I wanted to do, then after that point, universities and jobs don’t really care about GCSEs. I have a successful career and was able to buy my first property on my own at 26 so I’d say I did alright for myself.
Basically don’t worry too much and if your son is motivated enough to do his work himself, don’t put any additional unnecessary pressure on him, that could just lead to stress and burnout which may make him do worse. Just constantly let him know how proud you are of him and support him. That’s all he needs