To make a complaint about this head of year

[Newfoundzestforlife]

Today in assembly at my child's school...
Child tells head of year that he has foxes in his garden at night and they sound like a child dying. Head of year replies "If only!" Then she apparently smirked at another teacher saying "Yes I did just say that".
My 13 daughter knew how wrong that was.
This head of year has form for saying really inappropriate things, very odd woman, but wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

The comparison was your daughter’s. It was a bad joke but a joke nonetheless. I couldn’t get worked up over this. Also, from the age of your daughter, I’m guessing this is the head of Y8? This is the most challenging year group for behaviour by far. Cut them a bit of slack!

I cut them plenty of slack but what she said was sick.

It was an utterly inappropriate thing for your DC to come out with. What a dreadful comparison.

Frankly they are lucky that the HoY dismissed it - rather than penalising them for coming out with something like that.

Secondary teacher here.

From your post it sounds like a boy in assembly made the first comment (which was also a horrible comment to make). And that your DD was just an onlooker. Others seem to think your DD made the fox comment, which was it?

It’s an inappropriate comment from the HOY if it’s true, (but teenagers are not the most reliable witnesses.)

You could email the HT and say this is what was reported to you and you find it inappropriate and they will investigate. If it happened in assembly, there will definitely have been other staff present so it will be easy enough for them to investigate. It merits a telling-off from the HT, nothing more. But hopefully she’ll speak more carefully in future.

I think you've misunderstood! The head of year said if only a child had died not my daughter.

Your child said the fox made a sound like a “child dying”??
Your issue should be with that, and that alone.
That’s quite disturbing.

No, she hasn’t misunderstood; you have.

My child didn't say that another child did! What the H.O.Y said was so much worse as the adult. Well done for missing the point by trying to be clever though....🙄

I have a feeling you go out of your way to misunderstand things just to be disagreeable....lovely person you must be...a real delight. 😅

It was a strange remark for the student to make but I read it that another child said it, not the OP's daughter.
Head of dept's joke was far from appropriate but I doubt I'd complain.

Thank you for being one of the first people to read my post properly and not jump down my throat 😅

The original comment by the child was inappropriate in an assembly and almost certainly made to disrupt proceedings. I couldn’t get worked up by the HOY’s response. Obviously it’s not ideal, but I doubt it was planned.

I don’t think either were inappropriate.

Child dying - screaming and high pitched, descriptive not factual. Macabre simile but no big thing. HOY made a joke.

Everyone needs to chill the fuck out!

I also read it that it was your child that made the fox comment.
why the child thought saying that was appropriate in assembly I don’t know

Not something I could get worked up about. Pick your battles, when it comes to school I find. This is not one of them.

Both comments were inappropriate.

When my dd was about y2, we had foxes whose screams used to scare her at night. I explained that it was sex noises which amused my dd to the extent that she told everyone the next day. I was judged for telling her but she was never scared of the noises after finding out.

I'm more worried about the kids comment!!

You would genuinely complain to the school about a joke made to a 13 year old? Are you going to say your daughter is traumatised? Perhaps she genuinely believes the teacher wants them all dead?
I suggest you google “Daily Mail Sad Face” and hot foot it to the local paper as it’s important that teachers lives are constantly made harder and that children are never taught when to shrug off minimally poor taste jokes.

It was a joke. Not particularly funny, but it was a joke. It wasn't racist, or sexist or anything that would be grounds for complaint. .

I agree! I certainly wouldn’t let DD see me get het up over things like this either, just laugh and let it go. She’s 13, not 6. Best to teach her not to hold onto things.

Do you actually and genuinely believe that the HOY wants children dead? In your heart of hearts, do you believe it? Of course not. It was a stupid off the cuff remark but come on. HOY is one of the hardest jobs in school. There is a mass exodus of staff from schools and one of the reasons is an increase in complaints from parents. There are things worth complaining about. This is not one of them imo.

Oh good lord, yes of course you would be unreasonable.

A teacher makes an inappropriate but silly joke and according to you it means she hates children and wishes death upon them? 🙄

Hopefully your daughter is a little more level headed.

Could not get myself worked up about this. A bit inappropriate but not sure it puts HOY or the boy who made the first comment in psychopath territory.

Get over it and stop making a mountain out of a molehill. The child who made the comparison set the tone of the conversation and the teacher deflected it with a flippant comment of similar tone.

Your dd basically decided to be offended and dragged mummy into it. You are now feeding it too.

We wonder why teachers have a hard time and are capable of such flippant comments. Well here is an example.

Honestly, who gives a shit? A couple of bad jokes are not worth getting worked up over