To make a complaint about this head of year

[Newfoundzestforlife]

Today in assembly at my child's school...
Child tells head of year that he has foxes in his garden at night and they sound like a child dying. Head of year replies "If only!" Then she apparently smirked at another teacher saying "Yes I did just say that".
My 13 daughter knew how wrong that was.
This head of year has form for saying really inappropriate things, very odd woman, but wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

Foxes do sound like that. Hence a load of foxes are called a scream, it's an awful noise

It'd fairly common to describe foxes as sounding like a woman screaming/someone being attacked. Have you heard it? It's pretty accurate and im not sure why you think it is offensive. Its why people find it remarkable/alarming.

Implying that you WISH it was an actual child dying is weird and inappropriate, especially for a teacher.

We do but also complaints like this give us life!

The comment by the other pupil is troubling. Assuming they are 13, it's high time an adult at home told them they are hearing the sound of foxes having sex. The comment by the HoY wasn't great. But it really isn't a big deal.

wishing death on kids? Why work with them if she hates them that much?

I truly despair at the mix of humourless literalism, offence-seeking and complaint-eagerness. Your child is old enough to understand subtext and the subtext is not that the HoY wishes death on kids and hates them. Perhaps they give your DC too much credit for having the intelligence to share in such humour rather than running home to mum to get it wrong. Eesh, who'd be a teacher!

It was a joke 🙄 of course you shouldn't make a complaint!

Only complain if you truly believe he wants all children dead. In which case he'd be out of work anyway.

Do you take everything this literally, OP?

Do you seriously, honestly believe that the teacher in question actually wants to see children die? Or do you think it was actually just a dark joke that a bunch of teenagers should be more than capable of understanding as such?

It would still sound like a child dying whether you know it’s the foxes having sex or not. It’s a description of the sound.

Oh come on it's clearly a joke, teachers said stuff like this all the time when I was at school, it's to build up rapport with teenager who are notoriously hard to get on side. I bet most of the kids found it funny, I know my 14 and 13 year olds would have and I would have laughed if they told me their teacher said that.

I have never heard a child dying so don't know what it sounds like. When I hear foxes in my garden, I think 'poor vixen', not 'dying child'.

Also bearing in mind this is a second hand story from your DD that happened in a room with at least a whole year group in it, could the original comment have been that it sounds like "crying" not "dying" in which case it is a different vibe?

What do you imagine will happen with your complaint?

Even in the strictest of schools we would have a word with the teacher she or he would say, "oh gosh I didn't mean it like that" or "I didn't actually say that," and then we would call you back and tell you that. If we actually thought something inappropriate had been said we would waste students learning time getting statements and everyone would give slightly different versions and we wouldn't be able to ascertain exactly what happened and we would call you and tell you that.

But then your always going to be "that parent" and you haven't even had any actual outcome from the complaint!

Well done you
How do you cope with watching telly

A report published today on teacher recruitment cites parental behaviour as one of the main reasons teachers leave the profession. A parental intervention about a casual and humorous remark is just the kind of clutter beleaguered teachers can do without.

???

he was inappropriate but I wouldn’t complain

I’m sorry I don’t agree, it’s not acceptable for any teacher to be saying things like that. It’s not a joke

It was sarcasm. Quite funny too.

The difference is, a CHILD said that and it does sound like something horrible is happening to a child/baby, ive thought it myself.

I used to play Wheatus -Teenage Dirtbag at the start of assembly when I was head of year. When that year group left they sent a delegate to me to ask that I didn't use it with my new year group as it was their special song.
Teenagers also have a sense of humour. Also they hate disco which I played quite often.

There’s no indication the first child isn’t fully aware the foxes are having sex. He said they sounded like a child dying, not that he thought they were killing one.

I can't believe that you are seriously going to make a complaint. About this? Seriously?

I wouldn’t complain about this.

Round here the police often put something out at this time of year saying that a scream may be a vixen. They are happy to investigate it if people are worried, but they ask people to be aware of this.

I'd say that's just a silly joke that the teacher made, and the kids probably for the majority appreciated.
We had teachers who said things like:
"Someone once asked me if I liked children; I said, 'yes, on toast'."

They clearly were jokes - like the old one "have you no homes to go to" for a kid hanging about after school hours, and no one thought they hated the kids - really the opposite. It tended to be the popular teachers who did a lot for the pupils that said that sort of thing.

A 13 year old who says foxes sound like a child dying in assembly in front of their peers is highly unlikely to need that patronising response. They most likely said it to play the clown.

The joke was unnecessary but unharmful.