To not want 2YO having felt tip pens

[Cheesybroccoli]

MIL gave my 2 year old DC a pack of felt tips, DH and I voiced that we were not happy about this, but she dismissed it because they’re washable. AIBU to take them away, or am I being a Scrooge?

For the record I have an amazing relationship with MIL, we just have very different attitudes to our homes, felt tip on her floor/walls/sofa wouldn’t be a big deal, but to me it is.

I can't believe thta your toddler is really able to outwith you with the pens. I feel like you're trying to prove a point that your terrible MIL shouldn't have bought washable pens. Also, 2 minutes colouring is fine, the more they do the longer they'll do.

It’s perfectly normal concentration wise to not sit long at that age.
They are supposed to aim to concentrate on something for double their age at that age.
So a 2 year old, you should be expecting about 4 mins of doing one activity. So craft at this age is sitting at table with pens and paper with them for 5 mins max. Then bored. Then swap pens for maybe playdough, 5 mins, bored. Then swap for stickers 5 mins max, bored. Then craft time finished.

Gradually with Practice they might sit longer for some activities. Remember in Uk by 4, so in 2 years time they will be at school. And expected to be able to sit and use a pencil, pens, scissors.

I still don’t let my 4 year old run about with craft stuff. It’s all kept in kitchen drawers so he does it at the table, rather than biro and kinetic sand all over the sofa.

I simply asked a question to find out others views…not sure how not being keen on felt tips is ‘so uptight’ haha!

We have a small house and the only place to do these activities is in the living room right next to the sofa, I take a lot of pride in my home and I didn’t realise not wanting pen on my sofa was that big of a deal 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s not like I’ve said no to all arts and crafts, we have a chalkboard, lots of pencils and crayons so DC isn’t exactly missing out on building these skills. They don’t use felt tips at the nursery we use either.

Like a lot of posters have said, I know my child and unlike a lot of other mumsnetters children they aren’t perfect (nor do I expect them to be), they’re going through a phase of not listening and doing the opposite of what I ask which is typical of a 2YO so I think I’m right in holding off until they’re a little older. The packet even says not for under 3s.

Not sure if you read my entire post but my MIL is far from terrible…she is the most wonderful woman ever, I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have her in my life. Not being keen on something she bought doesn’t make her terrible.

Just teach her to use them sensibly. We introduced washable felt tips at about 2 and made sure our DD knew she could only use them at the table, on paper, and she has to put the lids on when she's finished with a colour. Works for us and we've never had a felt tip accident.

Felt pens are a normal (I'd say necessary) resource for a 2 year old. Yes, it might be annoying/time consuming that you have to interact with them during use.
Children don't suddenly become able to sit and concentrate on an activity without the opportunity to practise.

It’s because of the lids being a potential choking hazard so you shouldn’t leave them unsupervised anyway. I have a small house too, never got pen on my sofa 🤷‍♀️ don’t you have a kitchen table or dining table? Or some floor space away from the sofa?

Wishy washy excuses - and sorry but you are being uptight. Giving a toddler crayons, paints pencils and pens for a few minutes drawing is good for them. They can explore the differences, no they won’t all spend ages on it but they might grow to like it and spend longer each time.

We keep both Play-Doh and felt tips on top of a tall cabinet. I even need to stand on a chair to reach so I'd love to see a two year old get them in the time it takes me to use the loo!

We always had craft time sitting up at the table.
glue, scissors, pens, paint, play dough were all only played with at the table.
anything that was remotely messy play (or had the potential) was only used at the table or outside in the summer.

I have a 5 and almost 3 year old. They both only use felt tips at the table in the kitchen. They don’t have free access to them like they do with the colour pencils.

Another no to felt tip pens , no matter which ones we’ve had they just make a mess and stain things ,
my 4 and 7 year olds rarely have felt tips even now , pencils and crayons work just fine

It’s up to you! I wouldn’t allow it either as my son is fast and unpredictable, so even if I used them with him while supervised he could jump up and use it on the wall/on the dining table before I could stop him. He finds art boring so all the more likely to do something like that too! To me it’s all annoyance with no benefit whatsoever (he can use crayons instead).

but don’t make any declarations to MIL as it’s not a totally inappropriate present. Just put them away and get them out again when she’s a bit older and can follow instructions a bit more reliably.

Felt tips are nasty and don't teach them how to blend shades and use different pressures. Also, If they are allowed to use pens or crayons anywhere except the table/easel you are in trouble as they see any blank surface as a canvas. I'm with the OP, pencil crayons are much better.

He’s 2 years old.

25 years an art teacher her. He doesn’t need to learn how to blend colours at 2

Not at all but if you expect a showhome 24/7 then don't have children.

I’m surprised by the responses, I’d have these as a lovely ‘at granny’s house’ toy since she’s fine with them

Got to start somewhere! They aren't encouraged at school either. No art teacher, but definitely a parent.

It really isn't impossible to supervise and keep them safe (I'm a former childminder) but it's hardly child neglect if you'd rather not. Summer is coming. Keep hold of them for playing with in the garden. I absolutely wouldn't have made an issue about it with the mil either - just say thank you and do what you want with them.

Children need a variety of mark making implements then they can experiment and see what effect they have for themselves. You don't teach techniques at that age.

Supervise. Not q big deal.

Mt 2 year old girl always had access to scissors and felt tips even at 2. Sometimes unsupervised (oops). For some reason she never used them anywhere she wasn't supposed to. Now at 4.5 he uses biro to write all over herself. And every time she has scissors unsupervised, she starts cutting her hair (she wants her hair to look like her 6 year old brother's). So you never know!

But serious, why not keep some of those f* to give when something really serious is worth giving f about. For now, supervise the use. Or hide them if you want. And keep nurturing the relationship with your lovely mil. So many people are not that lucky

I have a 2.5yo who uses these pens. How do you think they learn? What age is perfect for you?
My LO did write on the couch in the beginning but it was a good lesson to teach her that it's for paper. We went through a few packs of not putting the caps on, but now she does. It's cheap so you can go through many and teach them. Now she will go grab a piece of paper or coloring books and her pencil case when she wants to use them. She knows it goes back in the case too. Supervise them, teach them and they will learn.

I'm actually amazed that the majority view on this thread is that 2 year olds should (not just can) have felt tips! Not that I would mind if someone gave my child washable pens, and maybe my family's 2yos have all just been shit at drawing, but basically all the 2yos I know would just be stabbing the pen on the paper going 'DOT DOT DOT' or scribbling really hard, and the pens would be bashed in and dried up in no time. It just feels like there are lots of other drawing implements better suited to that age group (esp crayons and paint) and I'd assumed that's why nursery tended to use those ones for the younger age groups. MIL giving some wouldn't particularly bother me apart from the waste if they were quickly destroyed.

@BarnacleBeasley neither of mine got on at all well with crayons, they somehow found them hard to use. But they did like the chunky Crayola markers from a young age

I think fine motor control comes before blending.

They can stay at her house and be used there