Page 3 | To not want 2YO having felt tip pens

Cheesybroccoli · 2025-03-13T15:42:07+00:00

MIL gave my 2 year old DC a pack of felt tips, DH and I voiced that we were not happy about this, but she dismissed it because they’re washable. AIBU to take them away, or am I being a Scrooge? For the record I have an amazing relationship with MIL, we just have very different attitudes to our homes, felt tip on her floor/walls/sofa wouldn’t be a big deal, but to me it is.

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/03/2025 20:18

Cheesybroccoli · 13/03/2025 16:34

Thanks for all the responses.

A big issues is that DC is very high energy and doesn’t really sit still for longer than 2 mins, much prefers to be doing something active so we don’t tend to sit down and do arts and crafts (much to my dismay), most of our time together is spend out of the house as this is what DC needs.

DC has already managed to get hold of the pens few times, every time I think they’re out of reach, DC finds a way to get to them, had learnt to unlock the child locks too(!) and this is in the short space of time it’s taken me to use the loo or prep our lunch.

I think I’m going to hold off until they’re a bit older and has a better understanding/is better at listening to me.

At that age they're better standing up to draw and paint anyway so they can use their whole body.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 13/03/2025 20:19

polinkhausive · 13/03/2025 15:44

Surely there's a middle ground here where you let your DD use them when supervised?

My kids have always had paints and felt tips and markers and things but kept out of reach except when we supervised them to use them

This.

our kids have had felt tips since they could first hold them and make marks. And when we do colouring and drawing together they can use crayons, pens, pencils, paints. We don’t let them loose around the house with them, we’re not crazy 😜 My 3 year old can write his name already.

Why are you so uptight about this? I don’t get it.

Haveiwon · 13/03/2025 20:26

Yabu. Both my children started using felt tips at just turned 1. They both adore colouring, and it’s an easy 15 minute or so activity. My 1 year old asks for her pens after breakfast every day.

Also, if you don’t do any sitting down activities with them, they won’t get better at sitting down. It only has to be for 2 mins at first. But definitely keep the pens up high when not in use!

thislifer · 13/03/2025 20:27

Sharpies? No!
Anything else? Yes, great!
Experimenting and (shock horror) making mistakes is how we all learn.
Or you are the type of risk adverse parent who just sticks their child in front of an iPad watching shite all day because it’s less messy?
Because you have no idea how childhood works

Createausername1970 · 13/03/2025 20:33

Under supervision, no problem. I just put them away up high with the glitter and glue. (I didn't put the glitter out of the way until the morning I came down stairs to a glitter Armageddon. It was everywhere 😱😱😱).

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 20:38

My mum bought my 4 year old felt pens and a
colouring book for his birthday….it became a present that stayed at Nans house to play with when there. I kinda trust the 4 year old with them (mostly) but we also have a 2 year old who would likely also
want to play with them.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/03/2025 20:41

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 20:38

My mum bought my 4 year old felt pens and a
colouring book for his birthday….it became a present that stayed at Nans house to play with when there. I kinda trust the 4 year old with them (mostly) but we also have a 2 year old who would likely also
want to play with them.

What’s the worst that could happen if they got to use them?

NotbloodyGivingupYet · 13/03/2025 20:44

It's almost as if different children have different skills, interests and levels of development.
One child will sit and look at a book while another at the same age will scribble all over it or rip the pages out before you can say "Careful"...
You know your child, OP. You also know your own tolerance levels.

namechangetheworld · 13/03/2025 20:48

Will never forget when I asked a neighbour if there was anything in particular her 4 year old wanted for his birthday. Her response was "nothing that makes a mess - paint, play doh, glitter, slime." She didn't allow any of that in the house because she "just couldnt cope with the mess". What a utterly depressing life for that kid.

Let your kid have the pens and teach them NOT to scribble on the walls or furniture, job done. Mine have had felt tips for as long as I can remember and have somehow managed to resist graffitiing the house with them.

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 20:48

@AnneLovesGilbert I just don’t want felt pen all over the walls/furniture. Contrary to this thread this doesn’t make me a bad parent. We do plenty of arts and crafts, painting, play doh, glitter, every except felt pens, I ….unsurprisingly (according to this thread) my children are not traumatised by this and quite frankly do not care that we don’t have any felt pens (they’ve never even asked for any).

namechangetheworld · 13/03/2025 20:50

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 20:48

@AnneLovesGilbert I just don’t want felt pen all over the walls/furniture. Contrary to this thread this doesn’t make me a bad parent. We do plenty of arts and crafts, painting, play doh, glitter, every except felt pens, I ….unsurprisingly (according to this thread) my children are not traumatised by this and quite frankly do not care that we don’t have any felt pens (they’ve never even asked for any).

Edited

What's stopping you from sitting and using the pens with them? Or teaching them not to scribble on things they shouldn't?

BertieBotts · 13/03/2025 20:55

I think it's a bit much to object to it. I would keep them up high and get them out to do some colouring or drawing together, then put them away when finished with them.

The same as I do with playdoh, scissors, or stickers. It's just a non issue? I also wouldn't give a 2yo free access to felt tip pens but it is a very normal thing for them to have for use under supervision. They are much easier to draw with than crayons for little hands when they haven't worked out how to do pressure yet.

KindLemur · 13/03/2025 20:56

Getting them into colouring is a god send for eating out with toddlers, my 2yo has a pencil case with the Bic ‘ultra washable’ felt pens in and a variety of sticker books and colouring books, just don’t leave them unsupervised, sit and colour with them for a bit and model how we use pens to colour and draw and put the lids on. My DD’s nursery has them all using felt pens to mark make, supervised, and I’ve never seen pen on the walls etc there, even with 12 toddlers in a room using them

DreamingOfASilentNight · 13/03/2025 20:57

In theory they're ok supervised, but In reality a child of that age can't even hold a pen to make Marks properly yet, so something like a crayon is easier to use and they learn to press to draw. Even supervised it's inevitable a 2 year old will end up with felt tip all over them due to poor motor control. Not all of them come off that easily, but must proper branded ones do, it's just a bit if a pain. Assuming all drawing materials are kept for supervised times id start with crayons as they are easy to use and not messy. Having said that if they escape wax is a pain to remove. All of my children have had lots of art stuff but I did hold off the felts for a bit and when I did,I had a good brand of washable ones. Keep them for a bit, practice with something else then use them together.

KindLemur · 13/03/2025 20:57

namechangetheworld · 13/03/2025 20:48

Will never forget when I asked a neighbour if there was anything in particular her 4 year old wanted for his birthday. Her response was "nothing that makes a mess - paint, play doh, glitter, slime." She didn't allow any of that in the house because she "just couldnt cope with the mess". What a utterly depressing life for that kid.

Let your kid have the pens and teach them NOT to scribble on the walls or furniture, job done. Mine have had felt tips for as long as I can remember and have somehow managed to resist graffitiing the house with them.

How sad. All those things are crucial for motor skills which equal good pencil control and ultimately confident writers and drawers. Play dough and slime are amazing for finger motor control and muscle tone.

KindLemur · 13/03/2025 20:59

DreamingOfASilentNight · 13/03/2025 20:57

In theory they're ok supervised, but In reality a child of that age can't even hold a pen to make Marks properly yet, so something like a crayon is easier to use and they learn to press to draw. Even supervised it's inevitable a 2 year old will end up with felt tip all over them due to poor motor control. Not all of them come off that easily, but must proper branded ones do, it's just a bit if a pain. Assuming all drawing materials are kept for supervised times id start with crayons as they are easy to use and not messy. Having said that if they escape wax is a pain to remove. All of my children have had lots of art stuff but I did hold off the felts for a bit and when I did,I had a good brand of washable ones. Keep them for a bit, practice with something else then use them together.

My dd is 2 and can draw a person, try drawing a cat, and write her name, so they most define Lu can hold a pen properly. She’s been allowed to use pens, felts, various things since a young age though… I just supervise her 🤷

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 21:01

@namechangetheworld I don’t want to, that ok with you?

They have multiple varieties of crayons, they have paint sticks, they have glitter paint things….i sit and do these crafts with them….they do not need felt pens if I don’t want them to have them, it is not the end of the world. I really don’t understand the big deal about them not having felt pens 🙄

BertieBotts · 13/03/2025 21:03

If necessary, keep them completely out of sight - then they won't climb up to them and get them if they don't know where they are kept.

It sounds like your LO isn't that interested in drawing and colouring which is also fine - my 6yo wasn't really at that age (my 3yo loves it). It's still a bit OTT IMO to tell MIL you're not pleased with the gift! They will be fine hidden in a high cupboard most of the time for a year or two.

A good tip BTW is to get the biggest paper you can find - that tends to work well and be fascinating for more active children. If you have outdoor space, take the big paper and pens outside when it gets warmer. Less risk of mess and they can draw with the paper on the floor or taped up on a wall.

KindLemur · 13/03/2025 21:05

but What’s the difference between paint sticks and felt pens? You either trust them to play with these sort of things or you don’t. And you just use them supervised, you want to leave the child alone you take the messy stuff away. It’s not that complicated… alternatively just thank your Mil and leave them at hers, ask her for some colouring books to go with them, she can sit and colour with your dc when you go round there? Does your dc not mark make and use pens at nursery?

namechangetheworld · 13/03/2025 21:09

HMW19061 · 13/03/2025 21:01

@namechangetheworld I don’t want to, that ok with you?

They have multiple varieties of crayons, they have paint sticks, they have glitter paint things….i sit and do these crafts with them….they do not need felt pens if I don’t want them to have them, it is not the end of the world. I really don’t understand the big deal about them not having felt pens 🙄

Edited

You don't want to teach your kid not to scribble on the furniture? Or you don't want to supervise them? And what's the difference between felt tips and paint sticks?

AubernFable · 13/03/2025 21:48

DreamingOfASilentNight · 13/03/2025 20:57

In theory they're ok supervised, but In reality a child of that age can't even hold a pen to make Marks properly yet, so something like a crayon is easier to use and they learn to press to draw. Even supervised it's inevitable a 2 year old will end up with felt tip all over them due to poor motor control. Not all of them come off that easily, but must proper branded ones do, it's just a bit if a pain. Assuming all drawing materials are kept for supervised times id start with crayons as they are easy to use and not messy. Having said that if they escape wax is a pain to remove. All of my children have had lots of art stuff but I did hold off the felts for a bit and when I did,I had a good brand of washable ones. Keep them for a bit, practice with something else then use them together.

‘A child of that age can’t even hold a pen to make marks properly yet’

Really? I think most, even just turned, two year olds can make marks with a felt tip with no problems. The two year old I work with can draw all sorts of -vaguely recognisable- things as she’s had art supplies in her hands since she learned to hold a spoon. It’s just one of those things you have to practice with them I think.

Jk987 · 13/03/2025 21:59

I wouldn't have made a big deal and voiced my concern over a pack of felt tips...

I would have put them in a high up cupboard for a later date.

LouH1981 · 13/03/2025 22:40

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/03/2025 20:18

At that age they're better standing up to draw and paint anyway so they can use their whole body.

Show quote history

That’s interesting to read! That had never occurred to me but makes so much sense.
Suddenly feeling awful for mine being in a high chair when I used to let them use them 🙈

Uppitymuppity · 13/03/2025 22:43

I allowed all my dc to use felt tips from a very early age, it helped with motor control and one of my dc is now a very artistic teen Just supervise your dc as you usually would and there won't be any mishaps.

BillyILash · 13/03/2025 22:46

KindLemur · 13/03/2025 20:57

How sad. All those things are crucial for motor skills which equal good pencil control and ultimately confident writers and drawers. Play dough and slime are amazing for finger motor control and muscle tone.

Show quote history

I was watching tv this morning and they were talking about how many children start school and don’t even know how to turn a page in a book or can’t hold a pen. It’s so sad. I grew up in a “pristine” house, I hated it, I couldn’t care less about a bit of pen or paint on the walls as long as my house is clean. My youngest is 8 this year, we’ve deliberately left decorating parts of the house so our DCs can paint, colour, craft when ever wanted to. They are old enough now to still enjoy themselves and not make too much of a mess and clean up after themselves.