To not want 2YO having felt tip pens

[Cheesybroccoli]

MIL gave my 2 year old DC a pack of felt tips, DH and I voiced that we were not happy about this, but she dismissed it because they’re washable. AIBU to take them away, or am I being a Scrooge?

For the record I have an amazing relationship with MIL, we just have very different attitudes to our homes, felt tip on her floor/walls/sofa wouldn’t be a big deal, but to me it is.

Under supervision, then yes, otherwise I hide them.

Yeah, I do let mine have hers under supervision on big paper and sometimes she gets them out under not supervision and makes a mess. You can avoid it though, if you're not as lax/distracted as me.
She also has a blackboard and coloured chalks which I let her use without supervision so could try that if you don't want to be glued to her?

I assume they’re those Crayola washable ones? They’re great, they even wash out of our very light cream carpet. My DD has been using them since before she was 2! And is always under supervision so any potential damage is limited anyway. Couldn’t imagine not giving DD any pens ever, she loves colouring and pencils are boring 😂

I think this definitely comes down to preference, but personally I see nothing wrong with MIL getting them so that you can used them supervised.

I've left my DD alone with art supplies since she was quite young (felt tips for 2nd birthday) and never had a mishap with drawing on anything she shouldn't (although I also wouldn't have been bothered if we had). She's 4 now and has an "arts and crafts station" in our living room where she can access felt tips, crayons, glue, glitter, stickers, scissors, playdoh etc. freely (which has been there for over a year now), I've always encouraged her to use them sensibly, with a note that they would be removed if not. She might just be a compliant kid, but it seems to work for us.

Thanks for all the responses.

A big issues is that DC is very high energy and doesn’t really sit still for longer than 2 mins, much prefers to be doing something active so we don’t tend to sit down and do arts and crafts (much to my dismay), most of our time together is spend out of the house as this is what DC needs.

DC has already managed to get hold of the pens few times, every time I think they’re out of reach, DC finds a way to get to them, had learnt to unlock the child locks too(!) and this is in the short space of time it’s taken me to use the loo or prep our lunch.

I think I’m going to hold off until they’re a bit older and has a better understanding/is better at listening to me.

Leave them at MIL's house - win win everybody happy.

Cool. They can have the felt tips round your MIL's house then

Its like paint... you use them under supervision somewhere they can't destroy things. Like the garden.

YABU. Give your child a desk/table to draw at and put some newspaper down if you are really worried about a bit if pen missing the mark.

It’s up to you. The crayola ones are washable. I used to let mine use them in the high chair at the table or on the tray so they are contained. Then keep them up high. It was lids in mouths that used to frighten me but that’s why they were always supervised.

If you are so precious about you show home why did you bother to have a child ? They are messy, they break things, they make a mess. God help you when you have a teenager. TBH i feel sorry for your little one.

Far worse things to get hands on than washable felt tip pens.

After an after party play date where I offered to take a few 6yos until their parents came to get them I found secret messages and maps on my walls written with invisible pens. I actually burst out laughing as they were quite clever. I had a word with my dd who said she thought it would be ok as I could only see it with the special light 😝

Pens and scissors were only used with supervision and kept inaccessible to my kids until they were much older.

If you want to do art and crafts, or baking or the like with little ones, then you do it with them. That means sitting down and doing the activity, not rushing off to the loo or trying to fit in a quick household chore if you are anxious about anything getting spilled or messy.

Just accept that you find this type of play difficult.

I found rough and tumble hard and although I tried to be laid back about it, it showed! My voice started to get tense and soon enough the kids picked up on it and after a while started to find it funny🙄.

It's difficult to be chilled when we are doing something we aren't completely comfortable with, and it sounds like you enjoy your house a certain way and rather it stayed that way. If that's the case then maybe just ask your MIL if your child can use the pens at hers for a while longer.

@ERthree

lol do you should only have a child if you’re prepared for your house to be a state with your walls covered in felt tip pen?!

@wovencloth

sometimes with the best will in the world we can’t predict when we’ll need the toilet and do have to rush off to the loo. Surely you’re not saying that op should just piss herself rather than disturb the arts and crafts activity?

Mine has had them since about 18 months, ultra washable ones and we taught her to try keep to the paper.

She also won't sit down and is happier outside like your DC, but we got a small kids table so she can stand while she draws and that keeps her engaged longer.

I’m precious about my home because my environment has a huge impact on my mental and emotional well-being, I don’t think there is anything wrong in wanting a clean and tidy home free from toddler scribbles.

You don’t need to feel sorry for my little one, they are very well looked after, very loved, very happy and have everything they need and more. I feel sorry for YOUR children if their happiness is dependant on messing your house up 😂

The average 2 year old is really only going to sit down and do arts and crafts nicely for 5 mins half an hour max so it's not difficult to avoid loo breaks

Just take the pens with you when you go to MIL house and they can play with them whenever they are there. x

Yup, “toddler doesn’t have felt tip pens” is definitely a sad story if ever there was one 🙄

Yeah you're being unreasonable, just put them out of reach and get them out when you're doing supervised colouring/crafting. Paint, pens, scissors, glue all just needs to be supervised.

Having said that I also like the Crayola mess free colouring sets and those magic painting books that you just use a little water!

I have a 2 year old and think it's really sad that you don't want yours to have felt tips. They are such a standard thing to have at home. Do you not let them paint either? Playdoh? Bake? Loads of things have the potential to create a mess.

Surely you just keep messier art supplies out of reach and sit with them when they use them?

And that's why they start school unable to use pencils, paintbrushes etc. or, even worse, scared to use them in case they get dirty hands. It's sad

I’ve got an older one too so DS has been using felt tips since he could hold a pen and I regularly pop him in a big cardboard box with a handful of pens and let him go mad. It’s lovely. They’re not specifically washable but it comes off skin in the bath.

I recommend those books with wipeable black pages and chalk tip felt tips, they’re brilliant for using out and about and fun and colourful but easy to clean up.