To think this is cruel to say to 14 yo?

[MarioJumbo]

When I was14 / my life was a mess. I was fat, unattractive and being bullied/humiliated in school.

My mum was a rancid alcoholic- and when she disagreed with something I was doing - she said to me aged 14

” you’ve got no one except me your dad and your grandad (with dementia)”

I had such a shit time in school was so unpopular - hated my parents as I suppose I saw them both as immature and lacking confidence and felt insecure and miserable with them

AIBU to think this was a cruel thing of her to say?

I think you know the answer to this. Yes it’s an awful thing to say.

Yes it’s cruel. Xx

Thank you. Omg she was rancid

Thank you.

shes supposed to be the adult ffs!!!!

Who the hell is voting YABU!?

Explain yourselves.

I guess context is needed, were you acting out and being unkind to them and she was meaning "be kind to us we are the only family you have"

Yes, it's cruel.

This sounds like there's a fairly complex story behind it. I hope you've found your confidence and your peace now op xx

No I was trying to take an early bus to school to escape bullies and my parents didn’t approve

Yes, cruel. But, was it true? You say you were bullied etc. Did you actually have anyone else?

Thank you so much

yes it’s complex. Abuse both physical and emotional

Yes OP that’s incredibly cruel. Stuff like that leaves lifelong consequences. Whatever the context was, it was a mean thing for a mum to say.

Oh bless , do you feel more loved and Safe these days ?

Yes - definitely ❤️

Sorry, but plenty of parents were crap, just move on and understand that what was acceptable behaviour on the bad old days, isn’t acceptable now.
You cannot accept your life being based on info when you were 14 years old.
Just move on!!

Your mother was an alcoholic, so I wouldn't expect her to have been a brilliant parent, tbh. We all have things in our pasts that hurt to remember, when people we cared about let us down. Though it sounds like you had a rougher time than many, growing up; you'll also have had an easier life than some.

As far as is possible, it's probably best to acknowledge it and not dwell on it. Thinking about the bad times more than we can help is essentially a waste of time and energy.

My mum said worse to me when I was a teen. It hasn't had lifelong consequences and we had a great relationship right up to her death. I'm mature enough to understand that parents are humans, have bad days (and things going on in their life that their kids don't understand), and aren't the perfect beings MN thinks they should be. I no doubt said things to her which were cruel and hurt her too.