DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

Yes, if your dh was still alive he'd be paying towards bringing up your dc together to adulthood, so it's only right that he provides for them after his death too. I would hope that his adult, financially secure dc would understand that.

I'm a widowed parent too and it feels like a huge responsibility to be the only parent they have to provide for them. Especially as the days of kids leaving school at 16 and working and then marrying young are long gone.

Ok, as you're in England OP we at least know which legal regime will be applicable.

You definitely need to speak to a wills and probate solicitor asap. They'll be able to advise you whether the will has a clause saying it was made in contemplation of marriage or not.

That's awful.

You should do what your husband would have wanted.

What a horrible situation for all of you, especially when you're grieving. I'm glad it looks like you are going to keep some security. I hope your stepchildren also get some peace after this, their dad should have looked after them and it's a shame it's been left to you. Don't let your stress cloud your judgement, it's your children's siblings and family ties are important.

Just a thought!
Is it at all possible that your husband DID make another will after you two married? He might have and not told you. I found this.
https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/help
You can search for a deceased person's will, so hopefully it would tell you if there was a more recent will made? If there is, and it's worth checking, it might save you some stress and heartache.
Have you thoroughly searched the house, top to bottom, in case there is an updated will he made somewhere?

How do his older dc get anything. In the UK ?

the spouse gets it all in the absence of a Will after marriage.If there was a Will that states extra shares for the older dc after the marriage, then sure. You might be thinking of a different jurisdiction like some Euro countries

You sound lovely.

I would assume your DH knew you would get half, so knew he didn’t need to update his will.

Like others have said his Will made prior to you marrying will be void. Essentially, his estate will be treated as if he died intestate and the process is very strict. You are his wife, so therefore everything will come to you. His children from his first marriage could kick up a stink, because they will be left with nothing. However, you could off your own back, make sure they receive some money, once you receive funds. You aren't legally obliged too though.

You definitely won't be left with nothing.
How awful for you to have to sort this now. Lots of people don't bother making preparations for after they die, though. This is so important to do, especially if you have children.

The first thing is to get the will checked by a professional. We got married recently and went to update our wills only to find there was a clause that meant they weren't revoked on marriage. It's probable the will was revoked, but best to check before going any further

How old was your DH? Was his death expected? I suspect it’s more he made a will a long time ago, remarried had more children and sadly never got round to updating it.

GDHT. That's right.

Yes, our children are his as well, and they’re still quite young. That’s part of why I’m so stressed I need to make sure they’re secure too.

You’re right that I need to stop feeling guilty. I didn’t create this situation, HE did by not sorting his will. And now I have to deal with the fallout. I hadn’t even considered the possibility that he did update it and it’s just not come to light surely his kids wouldn’t hide something like that? But at this point, nothing would surprise me.

The house is my biggest worry. I can’t lose our home on top of everything else. I need to get legal advice immediately because I can’t risk getting steamrolled in all this. It’s just so overwhelming.

Yes the marriage invalidated the will. If. I knew will was drawn up then the laws of intestacy come into play.

First of all marital property will severally be deemed to be shared so even if the house was in his name that is unlikely to mean you don't automatically have a claim to half of it anyway. Sane if you had divorced.

Joint savings would generally immediate be all yours.

Everything else would be ruled by intestacy which most likely will mean it all goes to you.

OP, take a look at this website. I confirms what others have said. Any will he made would be automatically void when he married you. Get legal advice asap. any solicitor will quickly confirm this.

www.netlawman.co.uk/ia/will-effect-marriage-divorce

You don't have to "make things fair" any time soon. See a solicitor, find out where you stand, hopefully you will inherit everything and can work with a financial advisor (a fiduciary, not a salesperson masquerading as an advisor) to secure your future. Then, you can decide about gifts to his adult children, if you feel moved to make any gifts.

Don't try to divvy it all up now. You are under stress and may make hasty decisions.

Why wasn't t your name on the deeds of the house!? I hope this thread is an eyeopener to others that no matter what age you are, death can strike, and not having properly deeded property AND wills/trusts in place can really screw people over.

This is not correct. Did you actually read any of the links posted on here about what happens with an inheritance when someone dies intestate ?

There is a guarantee in Scotland - 1/3 of the moveable estate is shared amongst the children, even if they're not in the will.

In England, if the estate is over a certain amount, the children do still inherit some of the excess.

Hope you get a solicitors appointment asap.

Different thing happened to dn. Sil died and hadn't changed her will so her dh got everything. All her properties everything. Dn was devastated. He wasn't even a great dh.

I agree, when you inherit from a parent it's important to pass on a share to the children when you pass, if there are funds left after your own needs have been covered.

Often it's less about the money and more seen as a representation of love. If the children don't get something at some point they may feel that their parent didn't care for them.

If you can afford to give something earlier that would be kind.

See a solicitor, OP.

You need legal advice.

Don't worry about alienating the adult children.

Well this is why you should always always maintain independence. Said by a fellow widow whose husband didnt even get himself life insurance. Thankfully I’ve always been financially independent.

They should have been working on estate planning together. Why people leave this off is beyond me. Of course no one likes to think about dying and we're all busy, but this is crucial for every household.

Including single people. I want my money going to elephant rescue and other charities, not some long-lost cousin who might happen to be my next of kin even if they wouldn't recognize me in the street!