DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

I honestly don’t know how to feel about that. On one hand, I’m still furious and hurt that he never updated the will how could he not think about me and our DC? But on the other hand, I never wanted to leave his older DC with nothing. This isn’t what I would have chosen, but I have to think about protecting myself and my children first.

I suppose I need proper legal advice to see exactly what this means and if there’s a way to make things fair without leaving myself in a bad position. I don’t want a war, but I also don’t want to be taken advantage of. The fact that DH put me in this situation at all is just unbelievable.

It's a bit complex and depends whether the property is jointly owned by you and what proportion of the estate is house as to how much it will impact your life if say for example you want to stay in the house.

The most important thing is to not listen to what people tell you on here and go and get proper advice from a solicitor.

Oh and make sure before you go to get as much info together re the ownership of the house and the likely size of the estate.

I hope it goes to you and your dc. Any life insurance/death in service benefits?

There's Bereavement Support Payment.

OP, assuming you are in England or Wales, that there is no newer will (you should check on this) and that the will you have does not say it was made in contemplation of marriage, then you should apply for letters of administration so you can distribute his estate under the rules of intestacy (it doesn’t all automatically go to you if it’s a large estate, but you get most of it).

I would start talking to his children to set up a civil discussion about the estate and maybe consult a solicitor with them if you think it may be a shock to them that the will isn’t valid. You are reeeling from the loss of your husband and they will be reeling from the loss of their father so emotions will be running high. But it is a good idea to try and avoid anything acrimonious with others who might have had reasonable expectations as disputes can be costly, emotionally draining and time consuming. There may be sentimental items they would like. You may also want to consider what your DH would have wanted for them if he had had the good sense to update his will and vary the distribution to reflect this if it would have been more generous than the law provides, or rewrite your own will to include them when the time comes.

If you do inherit everything, I hope you give his children something from their dad.

The will is gone if it was made before your marriage and was not made in contemplation of marriage to you as a named person.

if this is the case he is intestate. You get the first £322k and half the remainder. Anything jointly owned would come to you by survivorship.

This is why these charity “free wills” enrage me. It’s not the basic document you need it’s the advice - especially with the rise in blended families.

I really hope that what people are saying is true. Fingers crossed for you

unless the will says it was made in contemplation of marriage, the marriage invalidates it and the intestacy rules apply.

Go and get advice from a solicitor who deals with wills and probate

His will was revoked on marrying you, so he is effectively intestate and his will shall be administered according to the laws of intestacy in your legal jurisdiction

Yes, I’m in England. I don’t know exact figures yet, but the house alone is worth around £400k, and there were savings and investments too so definitely a significant amount. I always assumed we’d both be secure, but now I’m realising just how much he left unresolved.

I need to see a solicitor ASAP to understand exactly what my rights are and what happens next. I still can’t believe I’m even in this position it’s such a mess.

I think it's a shame to see this as deliberate malice or deliberate apathy towards you, especially as you say it was a happy marriage. It's really, really common for people not to have an up-to-date will for so many reasons that are nothing to do with not wanting one. I think you will be happier if you see this as an oversight rather than something he did on purpose.

Someone with more knowledge will come along to confirm, I'm sure, but I think marriage revokes the will. So, you as his wife, should inherit. I'm pretty sure that's the legal position If there's any doubt / argument about it with DH's older children you can contest and will be likely to win as they are comfortable financially, whereas you are not, and I haven't RTFT but it sounds like your children are still dependents. It must be a very stressful, painful time for you. Try not to worry. I think it'll be ok 💐

Depends whether your husband assets etc, were put into a trust for his children.

If they were, you don't have a leg to stand on unfortunately OP.

Yes, worth checking up on that. I only found out by accident when my husband died.

I was entitled to it because I wasn't yet pension age.

Please remember how you felt when you thought you would get nothing at all and don't do the same to your dh's children from his first marriage.

At the very least, make sure they are remembered in your will along with your joint children when you are passing down what you inherited from your husband when the time comes.

Marriage is more important than people think.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss.

I'd guess most people know that marriage makes old wills obsolete but perhaps your husband was telling his kids that he had sorted things so that they would get the house. Have you another 'neutral' family member who could speak to them about it. If the house was their old family home they might be thinking it would have been ring fenced for them.
It might be a thought to give some money to your husbands children's kids if they have them. Depending on your situation of course.

I’m pretty sure your husband assumed (correctly) that the marriage would entitle you to at least half, if not all. He absolutely did not intend to slight you with a will that was written long before you were even in the picture. He married you to ensure you had protection, and you do.

Time to take a deep breath, stop thinking or assuming badly of him, and contact a solicitor to have everything ironed out properly.

I hope this works out for you and gives you security, OP. And I also hope that you'll bear in mind that you'll be inheriting your step-children's family money - maybe some has come from their grandparents or great-grandparents as well as their father - and do the right thing by them, even if you're not on the best of terms. I imagine it will be extremely upsetting for them to find out that their father didn't update his will to recognise them, just as it was for you when you discovered this.

Is the house and/or any of the savings in joint names?

Because if so, that is automatically yours and not part of the estate.

It's unlikely his adult children will be left with nothing as it sounds like the intestacy laws give them... actually quite a bit. So I wouldn't waste time on feeling guilty or feeling sorry for them. I am worried for you that your home is only in your husband's name, and based on what people have written about how things get divided up when there isn't a Will, it's still possible you might end up being unable to stay in your home. Your husband's failure to update his Will means he didn't look out for you. You getting a share of his assets is purely by accident of whatever intestacy laws currently are on the books. You have every right to be angry with your husband, even though you can't argue about it with him now.

I also would not necessarily rule out the possibility that he made an updated Will after he married you, and left it with his kids. Or, that they'll fight the intestate distribution of assets and try to wear you down by you having a lack of liquid cash to fight for your rights legally.

You say you have children. I presume they are minors? Are they also your husband's children?

In England the marriage invalidates the previous will.

Even if he made a new will leaving all to his adult DC you could contest. You would be entitled to fair provision as his wife and having younger kids - you would likely have had a claim to some as you would have had you divorced.

You need to see a solicitor, establish that most will be coming to you (I think but am not sure that intestate rules may now apply). And consider what you think he would actually have wanted at the time of his passing.

Again, check your home insurance! It's likely that you can get free advice in the next ten minutes if you have a free legal helpline!

Like I said, I'm evangelical about this. SO many people don't realise they have this option. I was two months into my legal nightmare before I found out!

@jackmd5 then the very specific rules come into play with intestacy. You need legal advice as it won’t be you that decides

Apply for letters of administration NOW.