DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

Assume nothing. You need legal advice and the will needs to be checked. As we know on MN a sniff of inheritance brings the worst out in some people. Dont negotiate or listen to offers/deals/threats. Its all about the will, its validity and terms. Who was the executor(s) originally listed?

Deffo get some advice, invalid or not he’s not even split it between all his children just some of them so I’m sure that is worth something that you could say this will surely isn’t a true reflection

That's so heartwarming what a good person your relative was

https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-may-aug-2018/how-does-marriage-affect-your-will/

I think your marriage overrides his will.

Speak to a solicitor.

It was described to me like that but having just googled it, it’s about adequate provision (which is slightly different to what I had said). As I said in my post, OP needs to take legal advice as contesting a will is complex.

“Can my husband leave me with nothing?”
Under the Inheritance Act a spouse who does not receive adequate financial provision under the will of their late husband or wife is entitle to make a claim. The Act gives the courts the power to rewrite the deceased’s will and award the surviving spouse money and assets that had been left to others.
The amount of financial provision varies from case to case and depends upon the individual circumstances. The court will take into consideration a range of factors including the size of the estate and the finances of the surviving spouse.

Depends where you are if in UK. In Scotland a spouse has a legal right to I think 1/3 of estate even if a will leaves everything to someone else that cannot be overridden, your children would have similar rights.

Exactly. Most people would know this I think.

I would still try and respect his DC’s in this and give them some of the money you inherit x

Get a solicitor. It was similar with DH's kids. At first it was "We don't want anything! It's all for you!" (I'd warned them that there wouldn't be much. I was younger and the main breadwinner as well as being my husband's carer for many years.)

Then it was "You're family!"

I put my foot in it after interference from DH's adulterous first wife (currently with man number 4) and the kids went non-contact.

I sent off the cheques for the children plus an additional one for the grandchild. I also sent them the family medals and my MIL's jewellery. (GC wasn't in the will, but DH told me what they were to get.)

Cheques weren't cashed for over a month. I'm fairly certain that they were checking whether they were entitled to more. The bank phoned me to verify that I wasn't being scammed when the first cheque was cashed. The bank then actually declined two of the cheques because they couldn't reach me - I was in hospital.

Cue phone call to my solicitor to say that the cheques had bounced...I got it sorted out and I've had no word from them since.

You need to see a solicitor who will advise. In England/Wales you are likely to end up with at least the house for your lifetime and the £322K. You may need to do an Inheritance (Provision for family and dependents) Act 1975 claim but that will be fairly routine for a solicitor in contentious probate. You need to do this within 6 months of probate so bear that time limit in mind. Good Luck and sorry for your loss.

Citizens' Advice say:

If the estate is valued at more than £322,000 , the inheritance is divided between the partner and the children. If the estate is £322,000 or less then the children don’t inherit. The partner inherits:

• all the personal property and belongings of the person who has died
• the first £322,000 of the estate
• half of the remaining estate

The children will inherit the other half of the remaining estate. If the person who died had more than 1 child, this amount will be divided equally between them. This includes any child adopted by the person who died. It also includes any biological or adopted child the person had from other relationships.

But we still don't know if OP lives in England & Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland or elsewhere in the world.

See a solicitor to get application for Letters of Administration under way a.s.a.p.

Given that most peoples’ estates consist solely of property plus maybe a pension and a bit of savings, handing his DC cash may not be an option.
Of course if the house is worth more than the spouse’s ‘share’ of the intestacy, it becomes a real problem - the DC may well turn nasty and want the house sold, in which case the only winners are the lawyers.

As others have said, if there was no mention of the children that you have together then it's old and didn't update it. So it wasn't to intentionally hurt or impact you. Just a very stupid mistake. I hope you can find a good solicitor. Sorry for your loss.

I’m really sorry for your loss. Assuming that you are in UK, this link might be of help to you.
www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

You also need to think about your dh’s children. He would have wanted them to inherit something . Dont be that person who ‘forgets’ that your dh has other kids .

Why?
The DH died intestate because the will failed due to subsequent marriage.

1. The wife automatically becomes the owner of any jointly owned savings/assets.
2. The wife then gets the first £322,000 of the remaining estate
3. The wife gets ALL personal possessions
4. Anything that belonged to the DH alone is then split and the wife gets 50%
5. All children (from first and subsequent marriage) split 50% of the residue equally.

So all children get something unless the estate is worth less than £322k

I know nothing about such legal matters things but I do want to express my sympathy for your situation.

What a truly horrible situation to be put in. I'm so sorry for your loss. It must all be such a massive shock.

You've had some great advice here from fellow Mumsnetters.

Take a deep breath. You've got some work to do to protect yours and your children's future. I know it feels like a massive betrayal but I doubt if he meant to do it. He most probably thought he had plenty of time. If you had a good relationship, try not to let it sour your memories of him. Saying that, I really can't blame you for calling him all the bad names under the sun for what he did.

Best of luck to you in getting it sorted out.

Exactly the same happened to my DSIL. Apart from the house there wasn’t much. DBIL hadn’t made a will after their marriage, his adult kids weren’t happy, but at least DSIL couldn’t be turfed out after nearly 20 years. They’ll get most of it when she dies.

If the will is void then there are default rules to where money / property goes. I’m in Scotland so marital home would go to wife but a proportion of movable estate would go to any dc .

@jackmd5 you need proper legal advice on this.

See a lawyer. The first thing you need to do, asap, is lodge a caveat with the probate office to prevent the executor of the existing will being granted probate and starting distribution, getting access to accounts etc.

do that, now. You can do it yourself if you feel confident, but you need a lawyer appt now.

eta if he died a few months ago have you checked to see if they’ve applied for probate under the old will? If so you really need to get on it. Do you have a friend who could maybe help you out?

do a probate search on the .gov website.

I've skimmed, so apologies if anyone else had suggested it, but please look at your home insurance policy, and see if it includes a free legal helpline. They nearly all do, whether or not you chose full legal cover.

My insurers helpline (24/7 and I called at 11pm) was an absolute lifesaver. I honestly think the lovely lawyer who answered my question and reassured me, saved my mental health that night.

So I'm evangelical about telling people to check their home insurance. Someone actually qualified will be able to tell you where to stand and what to do next @jackmd5

You won't need a fight, you don't even need to talk about it

Everyone (apart from you 😬) knows it comes to you.

They will be expecting it from the moment you got married, don't worry

How much are we talking OP?

And are you in England?