DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

This was deleted for being a troll thread. It's total bollocks. 4 threads later (same author)....

Mumsnet posted a comment to say that they'd reinstated the thread.

I'm losing the plot with Mumsnet.
Especially on the following two points

• get married as it protects you as his wife
• you can't expect to inherit anything (as a child)

Unless he was forced to marry her which sounds unlikely as they were married for a long time and had two children why shouldn't she get the protection of marriage? She was/is his wife of course she gets the same rules as the first wife. For her not to sounds like something out of the Handmaid's Tale.

Secondly. Why do the children the first Mariage get everything? This is not the rules in court, all children are treated equally. It's a made up rule your pushing on the OP.

The OP is looking at a considerable bill for IHT if there was no trust provision made.

Depends on the size of the estate - bear in mind there’s no IHT when assets go to a spouse

From GOV.UK advise for England and Wales, deaths after July 2023.

If the estate is worth up to £322,000
The husband, wife or civil partner gets all of the estate and is entitled to apply for probate.

If the husband, wife or civil partner died after the deceased, their share will become part of their own estate.

If the estate is worth over £322,000
The estate will be divided between the husband, wife or civil partner and the children of the deceased.

The husband, wife or civil partner gets:

up to £322,000 in assets, and half of the rest of the estate
all of the personal possessions of the deceased
The children of the deceased are entitled to a share of the half of the estate above £322,000.

If any of the children died before the deceased, their children (grandchildren of the deceased) will inherit in their place.

If any of these grandchildren died before the deceased, their children (great-grandchildren of the deceased) will inherit in their place.

If any of these people died after the deceased, their share will become part of their own estate.

The good thing about this situation is that it doesn’t depend on what anyone wants or thinks he would have wanted. There are clear rules on how the estate will be divided. OP, as soon as you know where you stand, please write your own will.

What if she remarried and dies before the second husband?

Then her second husband inherits everything from the first husband and the first husband’s kids get nothing.

OP, you need to proceed with this with your husband’s wishes in mind. He would want his older children to have a decent amount. He would want all his children to benefit equally.

Consider what you’d want to happen if your children had been the first set.

This is literally the point of a will. If she remarries she can make a will saying what happens to the money. Marriage only nulls it if the will was written before.

All his children should get equal shares of the house. Just not the wife.

She “can” doesn’t mean that she is legally required to.

People who enter relationships of this kind, where there are existing children, need to be much more careful and really consider this situation. There should be legal requirements to meet with a solicitor to create a will.

All his children should receive equally. That’s very unlikely to happen. She seems very reticent to give them anything. Never mind writing a will so that they benefit equally with her children when she dies.

Also, we have no idea about the age gap between her and them.

That is not what the law says, at least in England (where OP is)

And do you really think a long-standing wife should be entitled to nothing?

I assume that was a typo and should read “not just the wife”

Not a typo. No, the wife should not receive any money from the house. Just the children.

Not for a house she didn't contribute to financially. No. All his children, yes.

Why not?

you have no idea whether she’s paid for it or has contributed at all. Why do you assume she’s been some sort of freeloader and moved into his completely mortgage free house?

especially as she’s now a lone parent with young children. Who’s going to pay the mortgage for the next 20 years? That’s right, she is.

you’re suggesting she doesn’t get a share of the house she’s more than likely paid for and contributed to, and will keep on doing so.

the children from his first marriage will inherit the house he owned with his first wife. Why should they get a share of two houses, leaving a woman who’s financially invested with nothing and the children of the second marriage with half their inheritance?

how do you know she hasn’t contributed to financially?

o/p hasn’t said. So how do you know?

how do you know he wasn’t retired and she was working to pay the bills? How do you know he wasn’t left with a huge mortgage post divorce which she’s paid?

come on then, show your working.

Do you mean that she should be permitted to live in the house for the remainder of her life at which point the house would be sold and split between the children?

Or that she should be forced to move out immediately and the house sold and proceeds split between the children now? In which case the minor children would have to have it put in some sort of trust fund but simultaneously be rendered homeless as dependents?

Even though there is an intestacy which has certain rules, The Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 can come into play which may allocate assets away from the normal intestacy rules. For example if there dependent children and they have a greater need than other beneficiaries. This is fairly specialist and I recommend OP consults a legal adviser who is a member of the Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners for advice.
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1975/63

I read it as he owned the house before they got together and had not subsequently put her name on the lease. She should be able to live in it until their joint children are adults say 21 or 25. Then it should be sold and the proceeds split between all the children.

Does this apply to all sahm’s, regardless of marriage order?

don’t financially contribute to your home, it should be left to the kids, not you. So if you’re a sahm, or move into his house, you aren’t entitled to any of it?

or does it only apply to second wives? Funny that.

I read it as he owned the house before they got together and had not subsequently put her name on the lease.

Hahaha! You really have no idea how wrong you are. Almost the very same scenario happened to my nephew and niece. Sister and her ex split up, she was screwed over and ended up having to move out into rented due to DV. Ex moved his GF in, then had another child. DSis died very suddenly when children were in late teens. They moved back in to the family home but the new wife made their lives unbearable. Their DF died when they were in their 20s, new wife kicked them out and as he had no will she ended up with everything.
Sometimes life can be pretty shitty and yes, the OPs husband should have made a will. But people cannot help their feelings, and the feeling of not being treated fairly by your own father.

Not second wives. Second wives where there are existing children.

It needs much more consideration that it currently seems to. We should have much stricter legal requirements regarding this.

If a man or woman has children, it is only morally right that any assets are passed down to them. What is legal is entirely different, but children should not have to lose out because Mummy or Daddy has got a new "friend". Your husband actually sounds like a very moral man for thinking of his offspring which is so often not the case on here. I know it doesn't feel like it but he sounds pretty decent which is a rarity nowadays.

So she should be left homeless facing retirement? To pay independent adults who have their own homes already?

after being a lone parent, raising their child, which will impact on her ability to work. With no CS either. Paying all the maintenance, any remaining mortgage, all the bills etc?

where’s she going to get the money to house herself when the children are 21? What if the children can’t afford to leave home on a quarter share? Where are they all going to live?

you’re an awful person if that’s what you think. Surprised you haven’t suggested she pays the children rent.