DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

OP please ignore this poster writing that you are "getting greedy now." How nasty when you've just been widowed and are worrying about having to support your kids on your own. Some people will stick the boot in at the most inappropriate times.

A decent Family Solicitor wouldn't touch this with a bargepole and would suggest that the OP speak to her colleague the decent Wills and Probate Solicitor.

So his other children got nothing?

@Crocmush

All you need to do to make it fair is to write your will to leave an equal share of the house between all your late dh's children.
It depends on what happens between now and when the OP dies.

If she increases the estate considerably by making a fortune somehow then that is her money and that's nothing to do with his older dc.

THEY DON'T GET NOTHING

All children share 50% of anything over £322k

This does not sound accurate. Even married people get to have their wills respected.

Is their an actual lawyer who can answer this?

Oh it appears that marriage does invalidate will. Interesting.

It may be that your DH had good reason not to make a will following your marriage. My DH is resistant to doing so because he would prioritise me, his wife of 20 years, over his adult children who have been well looked after during his life. He is uncomfortable with saying so explicitly in a will so, I think, prefers to leave it unsaid and to be dealt with as intestatcy.

That’s the law!

I don't think you can assume that he never thought about you and your children.

As you now realise, it's not simple to come up with a solution that feels fair to his first family and also protects you and your joint children. Whatever that solution turns out to be, it will very likely be different to what it would have been if he had died 10 years earlier or 10 years later, when the needs of you and your very young/ school age/ almost adult children would be very different. It's practically impossible to write a will that gives a fair solution in all these cases, so if he had made a new will it would have had to be regularly updated.

Perhaps he did think about you, realised that because you were married you would have a lot of protection, and he trusted you to look for the best solution for everyone. Once he was gone, you'd only have to find a solution that was appropriate for that point in time. Everyone's actual needs on his death only crystallise when he actually dies, so you're in a position to balance them out in a way that he would never have been able to do while he was alive.

I completely understand your wanting to make things fair without leaving yourself in a bad position, but please remember that 'fair' and 'bad position' are subjective judgements that probably look different to the other people involved. There's quite possibly no answer that's going to leave everyone entirely happy, so I wouldn't set yourself an impossible task.Take everyone's feelings into consideration, but in the end you can only do what seems right to you. It looks to me as if he trusted you to do that.

For goodness sake. Children who are dependent and have lost their dad are entitled to more than children who are independent adults and enjoyed being provided for by their dad for their entire childhood.

After that there is the children’s mum to consider, who may also be a dependent.

When his assets are no longer needed for survival by his widow and young children, the adult dc can be considered.

Adult DCs have lost their dad, but they have other people in their lives to support them. OP has lost her husband and is supporting their dc.

Cut her some slack if she’s not on top of the paperwork.

OP there will be pensions that need informing- they can choose who to pay out to even if there is an expression of preference. I’ve left mine to my DC, but if we’d had a disaster and DH was on the breadline, they’d likely pay to him instead, if he needed it.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Oh, and they may be being quiet because they understand you are in a tricky situation and don’t want to make it worse.

Have you asked them to contribute to the funeral arrangements? Readings? Music choices? DM cut us all out, which we found hard.

Which works of most assets are held jointly as they automatically go to wife and it's only separate assets that get treated under intestate rules.

But if the husband owns all the assets in his name and that value is over £322k, it can mean having to sell a house to pay things out

Traditionally, a 'family' solicitor is like a 'family' doctor - local, general practitioner, knows enough about a lot of different areas to refer on to a specialist if necessary. I assume that was what was meant, not an expert on Family Law.

No doubt, but when a thread is already into 10 pages I'm only going to read all of OP's posts. 😂

Someone dabbling in multiple unrelated areas is generally best avoided. Solicitors specialise for a reason, and seeing a specialist won't normally cost more, in fact it normally results in a saving overall.

I'm sure you're right. I have the impression it's a very old-fashioned term now for a High Street solicitor.

(Having said that, I'm not a lawyer, but surely any lawyer, of any specialism, would have been able to confirm to the OP that in English law a will drawn up long before a marriage would no longer be valid. Several hundred MNers knew this, after all, and have all posted to prove it ...)

This is how I understand it - wife will get the first £325k and then everything else is shared between his surviving children, so, the 75k residual value in the house and any savings will be split evenly, I think?

If there is enough, it may be that OP’s Dcs can have their share of the estate in the form of the remaining value of the house and have it put into a trust so that OP and her children keep their home. The rest/anything her DC’s inherit above £75K would have to go into trust funds because they are under 18.

So OP is unlikely to lose her/the DC’s home, I think, but there will be no money left over to live on, so she will need to look to work (if she doesn’t already) and apply for UC etc to top up?

It’s not ideal, but it’s not the dire circumstances she was facing at the start of this thread. Which reminds me…. My DH hasn’t done his will either.

Then you may lose out. Under intestacy you are only entitled to the first £325,000 of his estate (which may or may not cover the value of your shared home if it is not in joint names on the title deeds); everything else be it £1 or £10m is divided equally between his children. You may also lose out as a group because the legal costs f court hearings etc come out of that money, making the pot smaller still.

It is always best to do a will and make clear how you wish things to fall to your heirs and spouse. No one needs to know about it in your life time, so to avoid sorting this out is both cowardly and negligent if you actually love those you are leaving behind.

I believe she said the savings were in joint names so she will likely retain those as they are not his to pass on as they belong to them both.

No, I think she will be able to take half? The rest goes in the pot…

do you also want to leave a proportion to his adult children because they will be liable for inheritance tax as well if he does it this way at a massive 40%

if he left it to you and you were happy
to leave an agreed proportion to them inheritance tax won’t need to be paid until the estate reaches a million

jnheritance tax for the kids will be due here as well and that includes one suspects the amount for the children the OP has as well so she will need to get that sorted

If his older dc haven’t been apprised of the lack of updated will, they’ll probably assume you and your joint dc are set to inherit, as most people would. Therefore they aren’t likely to be hounding you for cash/to sell. Anything for them will be a nice bonus (hopefully). Please do as you say and go get advice asap. I’m sorry for your loss.

I’d urge everyone to sort out their wills. You never know the hour or the day.

OP says she and her late husband thought of their assets as jointly owned but in legal terms the house wasn't (it was in her husband's sole name) so the savings and investments may not be in joint accounts either. I know what she means. My husband and I also regard all our assets as jointly owned but for tax reasons they're not all in joint names. However, we both have valid wills and our house (biggest asset) is indeed in joint names.

The problem with the house is it’s in his name, intestacy from what I can see on citizens advice doesn’t apply to joint accounts, and rightly so.