DH left me NOTHING in his will – devastated and fuming

[jackmd5]

I’m honestly reeling and don’t know what to do. DH of 15 years passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. It’s been a horrible time, and I’ve been dealing with everything – funeral, DC, paperwork, the lot – while also grieving.

I’ve just found out that he left NOTHING to me in his will. Not a penny. Everything has gone to his two DC from his first marriage, who are both adults and very comfortable financially. Our joint savings, the house (which is in his name, long story), even his personal possessions – all left to them. I get that he wanted to provide for them, but to leave me, his WIFE, completely out??! I am beyond hurt and also absolutely panicking because I have no idea where this leaves me financially.

He made the will before we were married, and I stupidly assumed he’d updated it. I trusted him. Never in a million years did I think he’d do this to me. I’ve raised our DC, supported him through thick and thin, and now I’m left with nothing??

I feel sick. I don’t even know where to start with legal stuff – does anyone know if I can challenge this? I can’t believe he’s done this. I thought we had a happy marriage. Just looking at his face in old photos makes me want to scream.

Has anyone been through anything similar? What did you do? I feel so betrayed.

What's going on?

Your situation is therefore quite different to the OP's. She says in the OP and repeated in another post that the house was in her husband's sole name, so she doesn't inherit automatically. She also says that the house is worth more than £400k. Under the intestacy rules the first £322k goes to her absolutely but the balance of the estate is divided between her and the four children, two from her marriage and two from her husband's former marriage. I am not a lawyer, but this is what the basic position is on intestacy. https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

Hello - yes, sorry - our mistake. 😬

Definitely get legal advice. I hope it all works out for you and your children x

I think the position is likely to be as follows:

The estate is worth over £322,000
The estate will be divided between you and the children (including your own children).
You get:

• up to £322,000 in assets, and half of the rest of the estate
• all of the personal possessions of the deceased

The children are entitled to a share of the half of the estate above £322,000.

Hopefully that will mean you can keep the house, albeit possibly with a small mortgage. If it was me I would also ensure all children get some of the personal possessions to remember their dad by.

It was probably more putting it off, forgetting about it than anything deliberate but very silly when he had other children to consider.
It’ll take some time to sort, his children can’t turf you out, sell the house etc… Speak to a solicitor, make sure you take your marriage certificate and a copy of his Will. As pp have said, marriage renders any Will null and void and you are his next of kin.

I’m sorry for your loss, all the sorting out afterwards is so stressful so you’re fighting on two front — grief and stress. Make sure you look after yourself. 💐

Seriously, don’t waste your time posting in here. The advice may be excellent but you need to see a solicitor yesterday. Put everything down and prioritise that right now above everything else!

All you need to do to make it fair is to write your will to leave an equal share of the house between all your late dh's children.

When I got married (Scotland) as soon as the bank manager heard that it was my DH's second marriage, she told me not to open a joint bank account and to sort out my will.

The bank account was excellent advice - I was the main breadwinner for most of our marriage and I would have lost a large chunk of my savings to DH's adult children, via the moveable estate rule here - one third goes to the children, no matter what is in the will. The children actually earn much more than we ever did, but one of them is constantly running out of money through bad financial choices.

Assume the estate is worth £700k.

You get £322k plus half the balance of £378k, so your total share is £511k.

The other half share of £189k gets split between all the children which includes your minor children with your DH. Assuming your DH had 4 children they would each be entitled to £47,250. You children’s share will be held on trust until they are adults.

Intestacy
If there are children
If the estate is valued at more than £322,000 , the inheritance is divided between the partner and the children. If the estate is £322,000 or less then the children don’t inherit. The partner inherits:

• all the personal property and belongings of the person who has died
• the first £322,000 of the estate
• half of the remaining estate

The children get the remaining half divided between them. ^Source: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/^

Let's say for argument's sake, he's left £500,000.
You get the first £322,000, leaving £178,000.
Half of that is £89,000 which you get, totalling £411,000.
The other £89,000 is divided between his children from his first marriage and your children.
Let's say there are two from each marriage, each child gets £22,250 each. If hirr children are under 18 you hold it in trust for them until thry are 18.

Do look up inheritance tax as well and the property may be yours to live in. Consult a lawyer. The estate is what is left over after funeral expenses and debts have been paid.

I believe the OP can also make a claim on behalf of her children under 18yrs for child support from his estate. You can set up special life insurance policies for it to so hopefully he's done that.

Joint savings and joint bank accounts are normally automatically be transferred to the other account holder. If this is you and the account is set up like that the they don’t get included in the estate so are not subject to intestacy laws, they belong to the joint account holder.

If you have a joint bank account for bills etc this might get frozen so make sure you have enough money to pay for the day to day. This usually happens if one person opened the account and the other was added as a signatory - if it was opened as a joint account then should be fine.

You do need to see a solicitor asap to apply for letters of administration before someone else applies for probate based on the invalid will.

I can only speak for myself, but I was poleaxed when my husband died. If it was unexpected in the case of the OP's husband, I can quite understand the inaction.

Until you inform the bank of the death, the account will stay open and utilities will be paid automatically.

I did set the ball rolling as soon as I had the death certificate, but there was a will and I was executor, so I felt obligated to get everything done. Most of that time is a blur, but I have flashes of memory - sitting in the solicitor's office trying to deal with everything and crying at the same time.

Thankfully, the solicitor was very good.

I would only ever buy a house with someone as tenants in common again. I have my will drawn up and would draw it up again if I trusted anyone enough to remarry.

Well hang on… he’s already paid to bring them up? I mean that is what a father does right? In an ideal world. Why should they not inherit anything simply because he died with younger kids? They’re all his kids equally. What would he have wanted had he updated his will? I assume enough to look after the young kids, make sure his wife is ok and then everything else split or something along those lines. Why the op is getting greedy now is beyond me - earlier she thought she was getting nothing, before that she’d assumed he’d have written a will where they were ALL covered, now suddenly she’s like I need to protect myself and my kid as if these two adult kids are evil vultures for wanting some of their father’s inheritance (not that they’ve even asked mentioned it). She’s imagining that they’re all sneaky and kept quiet because they secretly knew it was all going to them. And despite clearly now that he’s died showing that she has no loyalty to them and doesn’t see them as anything other than adults who have no business around her and their own dad, she is saying they never saw her as part of the family?! Well I can see why!

Sorry for your loss Op.
You need to see a solicitor asap
Once you’ve sorted out your problems you need to get a will of your own drawn up.
Word of advice - please don’t leave your DH’s children from his previous marriage out. Your home was their family home too and they deserve something from their Father.
Too many children of first marriages miss out on their inheritance because the second spouse cuts them out.

A marriage generally overrides a trust:

In most cases, after marriage, a Declaration of Trust will be superseded by the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.10 Jun 2024

It's highly unlikely if everything was left in trust to his children (which seems unlikely anyway) the OP "wouldn't have a leg to stand on" as that pp seemed to think. Especially as they have young children and are living in their family home. A judge would not look kindly to well-off adult children seeking to take everything away from them either.

This is why op needs to see a solicitor asap, as most people have pointed out.

The house that we lived in was the one that I had before we married and I paid the mortgage myself.

I also finished up paying off the mortgage for the house that DH owned - I used my savings. (Both houses are modest 2 beds in an inexpensive area.) We never bothered to transfer that into joint names...That could really have bitten me in the bum, but DH left it to me in his will.

Since all the children are your DHs there should be a fair split of whatever is going to the children between all of them (not their fault that their dad married twice so they shouldn’t be negatively impacted by that)

If it turns out your children will benefit more then be prepared that they will fight for equality between all the siblings

Oh and it doesn’t matter that the older DC are financially comfortable, whatever they are entitled to legally they should get

I scrolled past the long repost of the OP only to find you'd said the same thing as 200 posters before you 😂

I don’t really think you can give him grief about not having his will updated when you don’t have one at all….

All you can do is get legal advice and hope for the best. Sorry about your loss

We can't jump to conclusions. The OP got a shock when she found out about the old will. We don't know the details of how it was found or what the other adult children have said about inheritance.

My stepdaughter thought that she had a good relationship with her partner's adult children...until he died intestate and their mother went after the house (which belonged to my stepdaughter) and their dad's pension. The partner and his ex had been divorced for 16 yrs.

The court dismissed the claim on the house and awarded the pension to the stepdaughter's child as the only dependent of her late partner.

See a solicitor.

Whilst I think your DH was completely wrong not to do a new will, he won't be the first or last person to not do so.

I'm not saying I don't disagree with you, but generally this place seem to echo that no one has the right to expect to inherit. It is unfair but also, after going through divorce how do people not check ahead on this? The OPs husband should of taken care of his family and not left his wife to clear up the mess or feel she has to protect herself. If I had been married for a long time and my husband had passed leaving me with two small children I might feel the need to protect my home and not lose that too. I would expect the children to inherit all at once with my death.