I don't drink alcohol. I quit two years ago, not because I was a raging alcoholic, but because I never felt fully in control of my drinking. I wanted to stop before I got too far down the slippery slope.
The thing is, there is quite a big drinking culture where I work, although the management would deny that this is the case. At christmas parties, alcohol is paid for and a lot of people get absolutely hammered. The vast majority of networking events with clients and contacts involve wine tasting, vineyards, wine bars etc. With the exception of the Christmas party, I avoid these events. No-one seems to have a problem with this.
However, whenever anyone passes an exam or joins the firm, someone will arrange drinks at a nearby bar. Now, this doesn't bother me. If other people want to stand around making small talk and drinking, then it's up to them. What I object to is the fact that I am expected to join in and, if I don't, I'm seen as separating myself from the team / being unfriendly. FYI I do chat to people in the office and have joined in with many social events (quiz nights, activity days, meals, escape rooms), I just hate going to anything where the sole purpose is to drink and chat.
We have just received another email about someone new who is starting next week. Drinks will be held at the local bar and they "trust we will all come along and make him feel welcome".
I now feel obliged to go in case I'm seen as being unfriendly if I don't go. I just wondered what other people think about this as it's not something I feel I can bring up at work.
YABU - Just go along with it. The pub is a normal place for people to relax and get to know each other.
YANBU - Don't go. They can't expect a non-drinker to stand around in a bar, in their own time making small talk with people they wouldn't otherwise choose to socialise with.