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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD’s nightmare flatmate.

401 replies

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:27

Hi all,
do you know if landlords or agents have a responsibility to protect tenants?
do tenants have any rights at all?

my DD is in her third year. Living with three lovely girls and one who they are all terrified of.
she has locked them all out, refusing to let them in (I wasn’t told until the next day and told DD she should have rang the police at the time). She’s rude, threatening. Makes a lot of noise in the middle of the night. She keeps calling the girls racist (there has been no racist comments towards this girl aside from this girl constantly calling them ‘stupid white girls’ or similar. She messages the girls regularly to tell them to stay out of her way or they’ll regret it. To shut up and be quiet or she’ll make them. (No loud noises, they’re all in their third year and studying hard/on placements). All the other girls now want to move out as they can’t face living with her anymore. I just can’t believe we have to pay and even though they’ve reported this girl to the estate agents and they’ve had meetings nothing has changed. They believe this girl has been kicked out of uni and hasn’t paid rent but they don’t have proof.

my DD is 20 and she manages most issues herself/with the other flatmates but currently she’s had enough and needs help.
I guess it’s not really an AIBU but can we refuse to pay last terms rent or we pay and chalk this up to a horrendous experience? No idea where dd will live if she moves out!!

thank you xx

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 21:13

BobbyBiscuits · 09/03/2025 20:50

@Timble if she's breaking tenancy, causing damage, asb in the house and potentially even breaking the law I'm sure they'll evict.

Depending on the type of Tenancy that can take up to a year

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:16

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:12

If multiple girls and their parents were signing the same contract / named in the same document then it’s a joint tenancy agreement so sadly option 2 in my original comment.

This means that you and the other guarantors and all the girls in the house are equally responsible for all rent / damage until the contract ends (even if they move out beforehand).

If the estate agents have stupidly cut corners and not sorted a new contract that includes the new horrible girl though then this could be what saves you. Seek legal advice asap to see if you can use this loophole to have the tenancy agreement voided.

And NEVER sign up to a joint tenancy agreement ever again! Especially if it includes someone you and your DD don’t know.

Thank you!! We definitely only signed the original contract. My DD knew all 4 girls well having been on the same course for 2 years. 3 of them lived together already and the one who left had actually been living next door so it was all good. all trusted etc.

OP posts:
Bupo · 09/03/2025 21:17

I had an absolute nightmare with my flatmate in third year. She caused me to have my first ever panic attack. She would leave the shower running (causing damage to flat below), invite random men over, leave underwear in the shared bathroom etc. I once came back after Easter and I’m not joking the entire floor int he kitchen and every single surface was covered in takeway bags. Unbelievable.

She tried to fuck me over when it came to the security deposit being returned as well. I have no advice, just sympathy. Record everything!

The way joint tenancies are done in this country are really unfair for students imo.

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 21:20

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:16

Thank you!! We definitely only signed the original contract. My DD knew all 4 girls well having been on the same course for 2 years. 3 of them lived together already and the one who left had actually been living next door so it was all good. all trusted etc.

Your DD needs to find out on what basis this person is living there, I can't figure out how a new contract wasn't issued.
They can't give you any info that may come under GDPR but I would be very interested to learn how this person replaced the original without a new contract for all of them
My DD has a house share for 3 and they are all on one agreement, they can't just replace one of the Tenants without a new contract

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:21

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:16

Thank you!! We definitely only signed the original contract. My DD knew all 4 girls well having been on the same course for 2 years. 3 of them lived together already and the one who left had actually been living next door so it was all good. all trusted etc.

I really hope you’re able to get things sorted.

Oversights / poorly written contracts by the estate agents are often the best ways out tbh.

I just wish Landlords and estate agents would stop putting people (especially young people) in these positions by not explaining things properly and misleading people, and not caring at all about the tenants’ wellbeing.

oakleaffy · 09/03/2025 21:22

Timble · 09/03/2025 18:43

Pretty much what I thought but it just feels so shit to be terrified in your own home and to pay for the privilege.

Terrified is a strong word to use- If this awful bullying woman is ''Terrifying'' could it be a police matter?

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:23

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 21:20

Your DD needs to find out on what basis this person is living there, I can't figure out how a new contract wasn't issued.
They can't give you any info that may come under GDPR but I would be very interested to learn how this person replaced the original without a new contract for all of them
My DD has a house share for 3 and they are all on one agreement, they can't just replace one of the Tenants without a new contract

To be honest we’ve only just realised. DH just dug out the contract and was reading through it and noticed her name wasn’t on it. I’m desolately hoping that the stupidity of them not organising a new contract is what saves them! We could say we never would have signed it based on this unknown person.

OP posts:
Timble · 09/03/2025 21:25

oakleaffy · 09/03/2025 21:22

Terrified is a strong word to use- If this awful bullying woman is ''Terrifying'' could it be a police matter?

she has said very threatening things to them often telling them to ‘be careful’ and watch your backs’ this was just after reporting to estate agent I’m not sure how it would escalate if the police were involved!!

OP posts:
Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:26

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:23

To be honest we’ve only just realised. DH just dug out the contract and was reading through it and noticed her name wasn’t on it. I’m desolately hoping that the stupidity of them not organising a new contract is what saves them! We could say we never would have signed it based on this unknown person.

Are you sure there’s no separate sub-letting agreement between the original girl who was supposed to move in and didn’t and this new horrible girl?

presumably one that’s been signed off and set up by the estate agents

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:26

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:21

I really hope you’re able to get things sorted.

Oversights / poorly written contracts by the estate agents are often the best ways out tbh.

I just wish Landlords and estate agents would stop putting people (especially young people) in these positions by not explaining things properly and misleading people, and not caring at all about the tenants’ wellbeing.

Me too. We are very lucky that we can help dd out financially but it’s so unfair and simply not right. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the fact our contract doesn’t have her name on it means something!

OP posts:
Timble · 09/03/2025 21:27

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:26

Are you sure there’s no separate sub-letting agreement between the original girl who was supposed to move in and didn’t and this new horrible girl?

presumably one that’s been signed off and set up by the estate agents

Thank you for that! I’ll see if I can find out, hopefully not!!

OP posts:
Usernamexyz1 · 09/03/2025 21:27

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:23

To be honest we’ve only just realised. DH just dug out the contract and was reading through it and noticed her name wasn’t on it. I’m desolately hoping that the stupidity of them not organising a new contract is what saves them! We could say we never would have signed it based on this unknown person.

does the contract have 5 names incl of the original girl who left uni unexpectedly?

lakecomomo · 09/03/2025 21:28

pinkstripeycat · 09/03/2025 20:16

Just asked DH, who is police. It’s not domestic abuse as previous poster said as they’ve not been in an intimate relationship with the girl.

It IS, however, a police matter when she said “You’ll regret telling the landlord, watch your backs,” or whatever the threat was.

Whoever “forced” the girl upon them, either LL or agent, it WILL be their responsibility. There was a previous post by a LL on the thread. They know more than anyone so I’d follow their advice.

I think he's misunderstood the definition of domestic abuse - it doesn’t have to be an intimate partner, you have to be personally connected.

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:28

Usernamexyz1 · 09/03/2025 21:27

does the contract have 5 names incl of the original girl who left uni unexpectedly?

Yes. The five girls who were supposed to be living together and who my Dd knew. This nightmare girl is not on our contract at all.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 21:29

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:26

Are you sure there’s no separate sub-letting agreement between the original girl who was supposed to move in and didn’t and this new horrible girl?

presumably one that’s been signed off and set up by the estate agents

Thats what I would have thought.
Either the original tenant subletted with the LL permission OR there was a new Tenancy agreement.
Of course it could be something else but I can't imagine what

BlitheSpirits · 09/03/2025 21:29

If your DC and her flatmates are genuinely afraid they need to report this matter to the police. People cannot just go around threatening people!

daleylama · 09/03/2025 21:30

Timble · 09/03/2025 19:47

Thanks so much for your input.

That wasn't helpful but also true. Similarly, those saying leave it to the "adult" girls to sort out is unrealistic. I was in a situation like this in my early 30's. Dealing with unstable, aggressive people in your own home is absolutely debilitating. I think you need to take charge, maybe arrange to meet with the other parents and discuss a way forward. Or Bite the billet and seek legal advice. A legal letter to the LL reminding them of if their responsibility in foisting this behaviour on their co tenants might do the trick. I'd be tempted to change the lock, put all her stuff out. You don't want to have to give her notice, that's imperative. If none of the above, give notice and move them all out. But I'd deffo spend a hundred quid on a legal letter to the LL / agent first.

2021mumma · 09/03/2025 21:32

It’s so awful I know how you feel my daughter was in a similar situation at uni with private landlord and we felt completely stuck. We ended up having to advertise her room and was able to get someone else into the house and my daughter out. I hope you get things sorted. Your husband as guarantor should call the estate agent in the morning and demand to speak to the landlord.

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:33

BlitheSpirits · 09/03/2025 21:29

If your DC and her flatmates are genuinely afraid they need to report this matter to the police. People cannot just go around threatening people!

I think they are scared to. If the police come out what will they do? Question them all, then leave, I doubt they would remove her and then they have to still live there after when she’ll be more angry than she currently is!!

OP posts:
Timble · 09/03/2025 21:34

2021mumma · 09/03/2025 21:32

It’s so awful I know how you feel my daughter was in a similar situation at uni with private landlord and we felt completely stuck. We ended up having to advertise her room and was able to get someone else into the house and my daughter out. I hope you get things sorted. Your husband as guarantor should call the estate agent in the morning and demand to speak to the landlord.

I genuinely couldn’t do that, I would not put other students in a house with her, I’d be scared for them!! I’d rather spend the money on another short term property.

OP posts:
Usernamexyz1 · 09/03/2025 21:35

Fluffylizard1 · 09/03/2025 21:26

Are you sure there’s no separate sub-letting agreement between the original girl who was supposed to move in and didn’t and this new horrible girl?

presumably one that’s been signed off and set up by the estate agents

that was going to be my second q.

hence ll and agents charge for rewriting the contract to replace the 5th original girl.

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:37

Usernamexyz1 · 09/03/2025 21:35

that was going to be my second q.

hence ll and agents charge for rewriting the contract to replace the 5th original girl.

Wouldn’t we all have to sign something as well esp if all liable for any issues with any tenants?

OP posts:
daleylama · 09/03/2025 21:41

Timble · 09/03/2025 21:37

Wouldn’t we all have to sign something as well esp if all liable for any issues with any tenants?

Honestly, get legal advice to settle your mind then act on it. Police involvement is a nonsense suggestion. The LL foisted her on the others so they need to sort it. Maybe you could ask the KK yourself for clarity rgds who's responsible for damage , for example.

Sidebeforeself · 09/03/2025 21:54

I’m beginning to lose patience with this OP! It’s ridiculous saying your DD and friends are terrified but that they are too scared to call the police. And then you reveal your DD isn’t there?! Why haven’t you sought proper legal advice? Get active

BobbyBiscuits · 09/03/2025 21:57

Hoppinggreen · 09/03/2025 21:13

Depending on the type of Tenancy that can take up to a year

True. I guess the others should also start looking for a new place, with less bedrooms so they don't need an extra stranger.