DP wants to buy a house for his DF

[Allthesweets]

Current situation. DP and I have been together for 5 years, we have a three year old DD. I own the house and all bills are in my name, he pays me set amount each month which covers the bills. I’d like us to eventually move out and buy a house together. Ideally sooner rather than later, as where we are is small. DP has asked that we wait as he’s has been going through a lot over the past year or so. His step dad passed away last July and this affected him a lot.

This would be ok, but now DP’s DF, who was renting has moved out of his home due to a fight with his landlord. He is pretty unreliable and owes DP’s brother money already which he is showing no signs of paying back. We are unsure where he is living so now DP is understandable worried. Both he and his brother are considering buying a house together to put DF into for him to pay them rent. I am very wary of this due to DF’s history with money and it would also mean that when we come to buy it would be classed as our second home, bigger deposit etc. plus my DP would be using all the money he has saved on a deposit for this house making me have to put all the deposit into a home for us.

I have tried saying this to DP and I am worried that even though this is very caring towards his DF that he is not considering us and how this will affect his family. He says he is going to do this anyway as he just wants his dad to have a home.

AIBU to be annoyed about this?

Yup this 100% too!

If your partner buys this house then when you come to buy together it will class as a second home and you'll have to pay the additional 5 percent SDLT. If he buys somewhere for his Dad to live I'd ask him to move out and in with his Dad then he can see what a stupid mistake he's making. He's not acting like a loving and responsible partner to you. In your situation I'd warn him if he goes ahead and prioritises his Dad over you and his DC he must move out. I'd follow through with it too. Make him pay child support for your DC or care for DC half of the time. His Dad could find another rental.

Does your partner realise he'd need a 25 percent deposit? Don't marry this selfish partner.

I think you need to let him go live with his father while you sell your house and with the equity and your savings, buy a bigger house. You will find someone who will make you and your DD their priority over anyone else.

If he gives his savings over to buy a house for his DF, then that's his/his brother's, but then, wants to marry you and buy a house "with you". That would be basically you buying the house and him owning half? That doesn't sound good for you, OP. Add in the 2nd home implications, and it's just "no".

OP he's using you. He has a roof over his head rent free and only has to cough up half the bills. Renting from a commercial landlord would cost him a lot more. Where was living before he moved in with you?

Does it occur to you that he probably couldn't afford to go halves on a house for his father if you weren't subsidising him?

He won't commit to anything with you. He's always got a reason why not. And he always will.

It's your house you're in currently and without him in it it would probably be big enough. Send him on his way to live with his dad and hope they'll be very happy together.