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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who was right here?

132 replies

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:44

I went to a child’s party today. The birthday boy turned five. One guest was his seven year old cousin.

Birthday boy was given a gift from another guest and opened it. Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it. The birthday boy objected and the cousin was told not to play with it until bb had opened it and played with it, and was told to give it to bb.

Which is unreasonable?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

OP posts:

madaffodil · 09/03/2025 12:21

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:53

If I got a new book or perfume I honestly wouldn’t care if a cousin read the blurb or had a smell.

Show quote history

Yes, but you're not 5 are you?

Original poster

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 15:21

CaptainFuture · 09/03/2025 09:19

If you're not a parent to either child, why are you so increasingly concerned how this dramatic, horrendous situation affects the 7yo? Why are you not bothered about the upset of the 5yo?

He wasn’t upset.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 15:22

Swiftie1878 · 09/03/2025 10:02

??? Only one present?!

Show quote history

This has already been explained.

OP posts:

NewName90210 · 09/03/2025 15:23

LastHeraldMage · 08/03/2025 21:45

The gift was for the birthday child. Why do you think it was ok for another child to take it?

This.

Original poster

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 15:23

madaffodil · 09/03/2025 12:21

Yes, but you're not 5 are you?

Show quote history

As was blatantly obvious, I was replying to this - ‘At any age, the same rules apply! Imagine you got perfume or wine or a book, and your cousin started opening your stuff!’

OP posts:

Kahless · 09/03/2025 15:29

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 22:05

I’m not related to the cousin at all. Im BB’s aunt and the cousin is his cousin on the other side.

My nephew is a well behaved little boy and rarely any trouble. I’m often told that his cousin is naughty and is quite badly behaved. My nephew opened his gift today and his cousin started looking at it when nephew was doing something else. Nephew objected and their grandparent told his cousin to let nephew have it and it was his day etc. Cousin left the room upset and the grandparents said he had to learn.

I felt a bit sorry for the kid. He was just looking at and playing with the toy. I couldn’t see the harm. But clearly I’m wrong.

Show quote history

Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it.

It was not his to play with though. Yes, it's not fair from the eyes of a year old, but that's how it is.

The birthday boy was also probably overwhelmed by all wcfuss of a party, presents etc.

madaffodil · 10/03/2025 13:50

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 15:23

As was blatantly obvious, I was replying to this - ‘At any age, the same rules apply! Imagine you got perfume or wine or a book, and your cousin started opening your stuff!’

Show quote history

You're missing the point. Why should someone else be allowed to play with the five-year-old's birthday present before the birthday child gets to play with it themselves? It belongs to them and they are not obliged to share it or let someone else play with it if they don't want to.

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