Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was right here?

132 replies

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 21:44

I went to a child’s party today. The birthday boy turned five. One guest was his seven year old cousin.

Birthday boy was given a gift from another guest and opened it. Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it. The birthday boy objected and the cousin was told not to play with it until bb had opened it and played with it, and was told to give it to bb.

Which is unreasonable?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

OP posts:
McGregor33 · 08/03/2025 23:23

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:12

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

Show quote history

To be honest, I’d feel sorry for them too. My oldest daughter always shared stuff and used to ask her cousins etc to open the boxes etc with her.

My middle daughter and her cousins were the complete opposite and refused anyone to touch birthday stuff. It used to annoy my daughter but she did eventually realise that not everyone wants others to open their gifts.

Some kids are ok with it and others not, which I wouldn’t say is wrong on either end.

GuiltyPleasure · 08/03/2025 23:24

If the context is exactly as the OP has said it, then of course the cousin shouldn't have opened and played with the brand new birthday toy, without being invited to do so. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for a child that has no basic manners.
...Waiting for a massive drip feed from the OP

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:26

GuiltyPleasure · 08/03/2025 23:24

If the context is exactly as the OP has said it, then of course the cousin shouldn't have opened and played with the brand new birthday toy, without being invited to do so. I don't think anyone should feel sorry for a child that has no basic manners.
...Waiting for a massive drip feed from the OP

What drip feed are you looking for?

OP posts:
Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:27

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:04

It’s such a big deal though.

Show quote history

No, it isn’t!! What the heck is up with you? I wonder how you cope if you break a nail!
If you consider this a big deal, I fear for your sanity as you go through life!

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:28

Ilikeadrink14 · 08/03/2025 23:27

No, it isn’t!! What the heck is up with you? I wonder how you cope if you break a nail!
If you consider this a big deal, I fear for your sanity as you go through life!

Show quote history

I’d probably do a week’s bed rest for a nail breakage.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 08/03/2025 23:32

Whichever is right my god there’s a lot of people getting way too angry at a seven year old!!!!

Gymnopedie · 08/03/2025 23:49

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

A toy that is not his, that has only just been given to its intended recipient, and that is still in its box.

Which bit of this are you not getting OP, and why are you so keen to defend the 7yo?

Even if he wasn't being malicious or bratty the GPs were right to tell him no.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:53

Gymnopedie · 08/03/2025 23:49

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

A toy that is not his, that has only just been given to its intended recipient, and that is still in its box.

Which bit of this are you not getting OP, and why are you so keen to defend the 7yo?

Even if he wasn't being malicious or bratty the GPs were right to tell him no.

I’ve said several times that clearly I’m wrong. Which bit of that do you not get?

OP posts:
Pineapplewaves · 08/03/2025 23:58

The birthday presents should have been put aside, and taken home after the party for the birthday child to open at home later. I have never been to a child's birthday party where the presents have been opened at the party.

NaomhPadraigin · 08/03/2025 23:59

Can I ask a different question? You say this a birthday party, but birthday boy only gets one present - did cousin not bring a present for BB? Nor anyone else, apart from the two sibling invitees?

Original poster
Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:59

Pineapplewaves · 08/03/2025 23:58

The birthday presents should have been put aside, and taken home after the party for the birthday child to open at home later. I have never been to a child's birthday party where the presents have been opened at the party.

It was at home. There were only three other children. A baby and two siblings who brought the gift.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:03

NaomhPadraigin · 08/03/2025 23:59

Can I ask a different question? You say this a birthday party, but birthday boy only gets one present - did cousin not bring a present for BB? Nor anyone else, apart from the two sibling invitees?

Yes. I had given him his presents on his actual birthday as did my parent and his own parents. The cousin’s parents bought him a bike which he was given a few weeks ago when they were all on holiday. His other grandparents and my aunts and uncles who were there today gave him money in a card. And then his friend and her sister came and they brought a proper present.

OP posts:
Northerngirl821 · 09/03/2025 00:04

The cousin needs to learn boundaries. 7 is old enough to understand that something belongs to someone else and is not his to play with.

MoreGuineaHyggae · 09/03/2025 00:05

Flutterbylittlebutterfly · 08/03/2025 21:46

It's rude to just open someone else's gift without checking it was OK first. Whoever told the cousin to leave it alone was correct.

This. If it belongs to the BB, then it is up to them whether they are ok with the cousin playing with it.

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 09/03/2025 00:16

GiddyCrab · 08/03/2025 22:43

My boy received a quite expensive toy truck for his birthday from his Nan. He had wanted it for ages and was looking forward to playing with it
Party guest took the box upstairs, played roughly with it and snapped off the doors and a couple of other bits.These couldn't be mended.
Son was bitterly disappointed at his ruined toy and never played with it. Nan was furious because she had wasted her money.
So yes Cousin should not be touching other people's gifts.

That party guests parents would have been paying for a replacement pronto!!!! That is unacceptable & actually sounds like it was deliberately damaged………

Was anything said?

Who was the party guest?

hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:30

Rofhdj · 08/03/2025 23:22

Not bathroom. Bedroom. That had nothing to do with the initial post though. Parents weren’t there. No idea how it was resolved.

I didn’t know we had to get something out of a thread.

Show quote history

You asked the question! "Who was right?" That's what you want to get out of this - that's why you posted here in the first place.

Simple answer: cousin shouldn't have opened birthday boy's present.

Cousin was wrong and his tantrum is really not your fault.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:34

hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:30

You asked the question! "Who was right?" That's what you want to get out of this - that's why you posted here in the first place.

Simple answer: cousin shouldn't have opened birthday boy's present.

Cousin was wrong and his tantrum is really not your fault.

Show quote history

If you know what I want out of it, why did you ask?

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:36

stayathomer · 08/03/2025 23:32

Whichever is right my god there’s a lot of people getting way too angry at a seven year old!!!!

A seven year old should know better than to take an unopened, brand new toy from a party and open it. And then they get cross when asked to stop?

Their parents should have taught them that they need to wait. This child is significantly older than the birthday child. Cousin was upset because their grandparents told them that it was nephew's day and not all toys are for them. No one's mad about that, at a family gathering there would and should have been toys for cousins to play with.

hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:38

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:34

If you know what I want out of it, why did you ask?

Show quote history

So what do you want? Which answer is right to you?

Original poster
Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:38

hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:38

So what do you want? Which answer is right to you?

Show quote history

Are you okay? You’re not making sense.

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:40

Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:38

Are you okay? You’re not making sense.

Show quote history

Who was right and who was wrong?

Which answer do you want? You asked the question even though you have an obvious answer in mind.

McSpoot · 09/03/2025 00:40

I'm starting to think that the OP IS the seven-year-old. Otherwise, hopefully a troll who finds this amusing (worried if this is an actual adult who is posting seriously).

Original poster
Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:41

McSpoot · 09/03/2025 00:40

I'm starting to think that the OP IS the seven-year-old. Otherwise, hopefully a troll who finds this amusing (worried if this is an actual adult who is posting seriously).

You’ve hit the nail on the head. I am a seven year old child 🙄

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:42

McSpoot · 09/03/2025 00:40

I'm starting to think that the OP IS the seven-year-old. Otherwise, hopefully a troll who finds this amusing (worried if this is an actual adult who is posting seriously).

I think this is a very insecure adult who just wants to be assured they're right.

Original poster
Rofhdj · 09/03/2025 00:42

hoarahloux · 09/03/2025 00:40

Who was right and who was wrong?

Which answer do you want? You asked the question even though you have an obvious answer in mind.

Show quote history

I honestly don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

OP posts: