Who was right here?

[Rofhdj]

I went to a child’s party today. The birthday boy turned five. One guest was his seven year old cousin.

Birthday boy was given a gift from another guest and opened it. Ten minutes or so later his cousin began opening it and said he wanted to play with it. The birthday boy objected and the cousin was told not to play with it until bb had opened it and played with it, and was told to give it to bb.

Which is unreasonable?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

You posted the thread asking the question!

Who do you think was right here?

I’ve said many times, including to you, that clearly the grandparents were right to correct the boy.

I’m not sure what I’d be right or wrong about. About feeling sorry for the kid?

Who? Out of what choices?

YABU - birthday boy should get to play with it first and it was right to stop the cousin
YANBU - the cousin was doing no harm and bb wasn’t playing with it

YABU. If the cousin was 2, you might have a point; but at 7 he is old enough to know that you don't just barge up and demand to use a present that someone else has just been given.

this is absolutely batshit and i'm not engaging any further, good luck!

I’ve explained maybe a dozen times now that I felt a bit sorry for my nephew’s cousin but clearly I’m wrong. I said this to you specifically in reply to your first post.

I’d put the wine down.

No, I'm not having that. You've said you're wrong once.*

The way you said 'clearly I'm wrong' was very much in the tone of sorry, not sorry. And since you said it you have continued to suggest that your sympathies are with the 7yo, including what you said that I quoted:

I think this is a bit dramatic. It’s a kid trying to play with a toy.

*now twice as you've said it again while I was writing.

Apologies if that’s how you’ve read it, but there was no double meaning.

I do think suggesting that all respect and boundaries are non-existent because a seven year old tried to play with a toy is dramatic, yes.

This

I know this. I was responding to someone who asked if I’d like it if someone used a gift of perfume or a book.

Birthday child needs to learn that his needs are important and if something is his, then It's his, and he gets to decide what to do with it. If he hasn't yet played with it, It's right that he doesn't want others to.

Cousin needs to learn that the world isn't all about him and 'I want' isn't a reason to 'I get'.

As they develop of course this changes slightly-I might get a new device for my birthday and let a friend who's more knowledgeable about said device have a look at it first-but that's MY decision.
5 year old gets also, to make that decision.

It really seems like this this child isn’t coping with every day occurrences well but that’s not your problem

it seems someone caught onto your thread. Work it out. She’s wrong, her child doesn’t get to take over your child’s birthday.

Cause your child is just as special as hers.

Why was the 7 year old so bored to need to play with his cousins unopened toy? There must have beeb other togs around/ games from the party to play? No way should the first child to play with a new toy be anyone but the bb.

You said you didn’t say that which you hadn’t but as you later made that comment I quoted you were obviously thinking what the poster said.

If you're not a parent to either child, why are you so increasingly concerned how this dramatic, horrendous situation affects the 7yo? Why are you not bothered about the upset of the 5yo?

IMO 7 is old enough to know that this wasn’t on.

If he were 3 that’d be a different matter.

The party's my kids have been to normally the gift are put to onesie and get opend after the party when everyone has gone.

Cousin shouldn't have been allowed to open the toy. If it was already open and cousin started playing with it I would be less fussed and encourage BB to share toys. Also it's pretty normal for kids to be jealous when it is one child's birthday, easiest way to manage it is to include a token gift for each sibling/cousin.

??? Only one present?!

easiest way to manage it is to include a token gift for each sibling/cousin

Oh come on!! A 7 year old doesn't need a gift because his 5 year old cousin got something for his birthday - FFS no wonder the world is full of entitled adult brats who expect the world to revolve around them 🤬

But 7 year olds do understand birthdays and that the presents belong to the child having the birthday. He must have been to other birthday parties before this one.

If the birthday child had taken the present out of the box and played with it for a while and then left if, it would be more understandable that the cousin would try and play with it. However, he would know that he shouldn't be taking it out of the box before his cousin had a chance to do this.