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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Living alone is tough financially

368 replies

Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:43

If you have a mortgage or rent a home alone..maybe different if you're mortgage-free or perhaps only renting a room or something.
You have to make sure you can afford everything each month. If anything breaks/needs repairing, you foot 100% of the bill. All renovations are paid for solely by you.
You have to make sure you have money aside for various things.
Living alone has many advantages, but financially it's tough and I'm not sure I can do it for much longer. It's stressful unless you have a lot of savings I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:45

Career-wise, nobody to financially support you if for whatever reason you lose your job/long-term sick. Fortunately this hasn't happened but I live in fear of it.
I think a lot of people don't realise what it's like as they have a partner's salary to fall back on.

OP posts:
backtothemeadow · 08/03/2025 21:45

Yes, I definitely found this when I lived alone. Bills are higher and even things like entertainment cost more, eg a single national trust membership is more per person than a joint one.

Original poster
Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:47

backtothemeadow · 08/03/2025 21:45

Yes, I definitely found this when I lived alone. Bills are higher and even things like entertainment cost more, eg a single national trust membership is more per person than a joint one.

Yes definitely, even the 25% CT discount is still more than a couple splitting the bill would pay. Food seems more expensive too when it's just you.

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:50

Yes, of course having a space all to yourself is more expensive than having the same space shared between two.

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself? Most people need to share to make property ownership affordable.

Original poster
Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:53

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:50

Yes, of course having a space all to yourself is more expensive than having the same space shared between two.

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself? Most people need to share to make property ownership affordable.

I was lucky to get my flat for a low price, and honestly I don't know if it'd be big enough for two. My sibling is much younger and I don't have a close friend I could've bought with, and to be honest I don't think I'd ever want to own anywhere with a friend.
It's not even the monthly mortgage but things like the boiler going, washing machine going, costs of decorating etc.

OP posts:
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 21:53

Yes, YANBU but it is even worse if you are the sole breadwinner for a family with a SAHP and DC all depending on you. That was my life for 15years.

backtothemeadow · 08/03/2025 21:54

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:50

Yes, of course having a space all to yourself is more expensive than having the same space shared between two.

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself? Most people need to share to make property ownership affordable.

These statements are a bit mad … I mean, how many of your friends would you buy a property with?

You’d both have to be single and fairly sure you were going to stay that way. The potential for it to go wrong is massive.

loropianalover · 08/03/2025 21:55

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:50

Yes, of course having a space all to yourself is more expensive than having the same space shared between two.

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself? Most people need to share to make property ownership affordable.

Eugh this sounds torturous. I can’t believe this is the state of things!

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:57

Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:53

I was lucky to get my flat for a low price, and honestly I don't know if it'd be big enough for two. My sibling is much younger and I don't have a close friend I could've bought with, and to be honest I don't think I'd ever want to own anywhere with a friend.
It's not even the monthly mortgage but things like the boiler going, washing machine going, costs of decorating etc.

Show quote history

That's the downside of the luxury having a place all to yourself, surely?

DH and I get to share bills, sure, but we also have to share space. Not to mention two children who we also provide for. So 2 incomes pay for 4 people...

Nanny1983 · 08/03/2025 21:59

I live by myself and I’ve just been made redundant . After my rent I’m left with less than £100 a month to live on before paying any other bills , food or anything else .

It’s soul destroying and it’s going to cause far too many people to stay in toxic relationships rather than struggle to live by themselves .

beadystar · 08/03/2025 22:02

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 21:50

Yes, of course having a space all to yourself is more expensive than having the same space shared between two.

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself? Most people need to share to make property ownership affordable.

Yes, but OP is talking about the 'single tax.' Single people shouldn't have to just muck in with housemate strangers off the internet or whatever random friend or sibling is available, simply to make ends meet! How awful for one's mental health. There's a huge vulnerability in doing that too. Working single people are financially overlooked as a group, there's no help at all.

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 22:02

Nanny1983 · 08/03/2025 21:59

I live by myself and I’ve just been made redundant . After my rent I’m left with less than £100 a month to live on before paying any other bills , food or anything else .

It’s soul destroying and it’s going to cause far too many people to stay in toxic relationships rather than struggle to live by themselves .

Would it not be cheaper to rent a room in a shared house, take in a lodger or rent a 2 bed place with a friend?

suburberphobe · 08/03/2025 22:02

2 incomes pay for 4 people...

Yea, like me. 1 income for two people. Single mum. Wait till they become a teenager.... eat you out of house and home!!

HoskinsChoice · 08/03/2025 22:03

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 21:53

Yes, YANBU but it is even worse if you are the sole breadwinner for a family with a SAHP and DC all depending on you. That was my life for 15years.

No it's not worse. The SAHP can get a job! It's a choice for a household to have a SAHP and you'll always have a fallback if one of you becomes ill or redundant. If you live on your own you are literally on your own.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:04

Working single people are financially overlooked as a group, there's no help at all.
Because you have it second best? Why should there be help?

Ineffable23 · 08/03/2025 22:05

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 22:02

Would it not be cheaper to rent a room in a shared house, take in a lodger or rent a 2 bed place with a friend?

Show quote history

Why dont you and your husband and children do the same thing? I expect two rooms in a shared house would be cheaper than running a whole household?

You already know the answer. It's because sharing with strangers, or near strangers, is highly unpleasant.

Editing: clearly highly unpleasant is an exaggeration, but there are a lot of disadvantages to living with a load of randoms, namely that their choices and priorities may well be entirely different from yours.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 08/03/2025 22:06

This explains the extraordinary amount of people living in crap relationships.

YANBU

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:06

HoskinsChoice · 08/03/2025 22:03

No it's not worse. The SAHP can get a job! It's a choice for a household to have a SAHP and you'll always have a fallback if one of you becomes ill or redundant. If you live on your own you are literally on your own.

Show quote history

No they can’t get a job when

  • Childcare costs more than they would earn
  • There is no free or subsidised child care at all - current generations are lucky and don’t even know it

How is it a choice when if SAHP got a job, then you’d not have the money to pay the rent because childcare is too much?

westisbest1982 · 08/03/2025 22:07

Yes it must be really hard, financially and mentally. I note that most of the threads on here from folks who're struggling financially are from people living alone or who're lone parents. And of course you usually get fuck all in terms of government support when you have no kids.

If you have a two bedroom flat have you thought about getting a lodger?

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 22:07

beadystar · 08/03/2025 22:02

Yes, but OP is talking about the 'single tax.' Single people shouldn't have to just muck in with housemate strangers off the internet or whatever random friend or sibling is available, simply to make ends meet! How awful for one's mental health. There's a huge vulnerability in doing that too. Working single people are financially overlooked as a group, there's no help at all.

Show quote history

But if you want the luxury of private, non shared space, you have to accept that comes at a higher cost than shared space. You pay more, but you get more.

That said, there are plenty of families of 3,4,5 people or more living on just one income (or two but with eyewatering childcare costs). Yes, children are a choice, but so is wanting a private space, not a shared one.

EG94 · 08/03/2025 22:07

Yes it’s expensive but the peace it brings for me in invaluable. I live month to month, saving each month and every room in the house needs renovating. I have unemployment insurance just in case. It is daunting. I sometimes find it frustrating when friends and family are like let’s do this, let’s do that. I just had an £850 vet bill. I have no money but they have partners salaries too so live a bit more comfortably. Sure they get pissed with me because I don’t say yes to things but my house is my priority over and over a £100 night out / meal out

BassesAreBest · 08/03/2025 22:08

Did you not consider buying a bigger property shared with a friend or sibling, rather than your own property by yourself?

Because everyone has friends and siblings in exactly that position and likely to stay that way…

And for everyone suggesting houseshares with strangers. Not everyone can share with strangers (disability etc), and not everyone lives somewhere that houseshares are easily available.

Crushed23 · 08/03/2025 22:08

I've lived on my own since the age of 30. Rather like flying business class, it's expensive but definitely worth it.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:08

Children are a choice, but so is being single and not wanting to live in a house or flat share….

angelspike · 08/03/2025 22:09

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:08

Children are a choice, but so is being single and not wanting to live in a house or flat share….

I just don't want to live with strangers at 40 having always lived alone
It's a bit different to living with a partner