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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Living alone is tough financially

368 replies

Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:43

If you have a mortgage or rent a home alone..maybe different if you're mortgage-free or perhaps only renting a room or something.
You have to make sure you can afford everything each month. If anything breaks/needs repairing, you foot 100% of the bill. All renovations are paid for solely by you.
You have to make sure you have money aside for various things.
Living alone has many advantages, but financially it's tough and I'm not sure I can do it for much longer. It's stressful unless you have a lot of savings I think.

OP posts:
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:03

Poppyseeds79 · 08/03/2025 23:02

And where exactly would I be storing all my furniture? Am I just throwing it all out then? 🙄

House shares are great for students, or people in their 20s, or those moving around for jobs. Less so for those who've already raised families and have basically a whole house full of stuff, and possibly pets.

Yes you have so much stuff, must be so hard to find room for it all. 🎻

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 08/03/2025 23:04

Are we still saying OP should freeze fruit in a ziplock bag tho?

melonalone · 08/03/2025 23:04

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 08/03/2025 23:04

Are we still saying OP should freeze fruit in a ziplock bag tho?

And microwaved rice. Everything can be frozen apparently!

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:05

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:06

No they can’t get a job when

  • Childcare costs more than they would earn
  • There is no free or subsidised child care at all - current generations are lucky and don’t even know it

How is it a choice when if SAHP got a job, then you’d not have the money to pay the rent because childcare is too much?

What do you mean?
Childcare does not cost as much as it used to. If both (or single) parents income is <£100,000pa then the SAHP is entitled to free childcare funding hours from 9 months, for a 3 year old they can get 30 free hours per week so the SAHP could work then. If they are at school then the SAHP can work during school hours.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:05

DaniMontyRae · 08/03/2025 23:01

"But go ahead and cry your tears….poor you all your money has to go on just you. Only you." This is how you responded to another poster. You don't get it. You chose to have two children. Not everyone chooses to be single. Your income had to stretch because of your own choices. And yet you are so nasty about people recognising that single people face higher costs per adult.

I’m not nasty. I voted YANBU to OP, but all the posters pretending that single people with no kids only having themselves to support are so badly off is making me rethink my vote.

Porcuporpoise · 08/03/2025 23:06

Addictedtofizzydrinks34 · 08/03/2025 21:45

Career-wise, nobody to financially support you if for whatever reason you lose your job/long-term sick. Fortunately this hasn't happened but I live in fear of it.
I think a lot of people don't realise what it's like as they have a partner's salary to fall back on.

Equally though, you'll never be expected to support a second person - that cuts both ways. I agree re rent/mortgage/bills - those can be crippling to pay as a singleton.

mylovelyboycat · 08/03/2025 23:06

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

There is no backstory other than I think it’s a bit too much whining. Yeah being single and not having a partner that makes more than you is a bit harder, but it is second best. It’s tone deaf considering the number of single parents and families with sole breadwinners who have it way worse.

Single parents on a low income/minimum wage, have their income topped up by universal credit. Wages are kept artificially low, because the government tops up those minimum wage salaries so that people can survive.

Single people, without children, who are on a low wage, don't get any top up. They have to survive with very little left after rent and bills.

It's not possible for everyone to have a partner. I live alone without a partner because of my mental illness. I've lived in shared houses but it wasn't fair on the housemates who had to put up with me and it was constant conflict.

I'm really lucky to have my own social housing flat now. But I've experienced being single, on a low income while privately renting a one bedroom flat....and it wasn't fair tough!!

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:07

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:05

What do you mean?
Childcare does not cost as much as it used to. If both (or single) parents income is <£100,000pa then the SAHP is entitled to free childcare funding hours from 9 months, for a 3 year old they can get 30 free hours per week so the SAHP could work then. If they are at school then the SAHP can work during school hours.

“As it used to” rewind 20yrs and be an immigrant with NRPF. Everything you listed did not exist.

Poppyseeds79 · 08/03/2025 23:09

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:03

Yes you have so much stuff, must be so hard to find room for it all. 🎻

Well I'd have problems squeezing my sofa, cooker, washing machine, fridge freezer, and 2 double beds. Plus me, the dog, and two cats into a single room house share, yes 😂. I've got the usual various amounts of stuff that pretty much everyone has...

Are you telling me you don't have anything in your house at all? Or are you just being obtuse for the sake of it?

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:10

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:07

“As it used to” rewind 20yrs and be an immigrant with NRPF. Everything you listed did not exist.

Why talk about 20 years ago? We are talking about now.
A SAHP has the choice to work as there are childcare schemes available.

autumngirl714 · 08/03/2025 23:10

Love by myself with my 2 children.
I totally get it OP. I struggle every month o get my head above water, and the moment I do.... something breaks or there's a school trip!
I struggle with finical anxiety after being finically abused in the past by my ex.... something breaks whilst I do appreciate not having to consider anyone else, it really is TOUGH and I find it very overwhelming.

lookatthathorse · 08/03/2025 23:11

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 22:35

There is no backstory other than I think it’s a bit too much whining. Yeah being single and not having a partner that makes more than you is a bit harder, but it is second best. It’s tone deaf considering the number of single parents and families with sole breadwinners who have it way worse.

Oh do fuck off with your ‘but think of the poor single parents’ bullshit. I’m a lone parent that gets zero support - financial or otherwise - from the other parent and the pure nastiness you’re spouting isn’t in my name. You haven’t got a clue, mate.

Prior to having my child I was a single woman living alone. Guess what, I’m a lot fucking better off now than I was when it was just me.

As a single parent renting I get support from
UC with my rent and childcare costs. I get child benefit. I got the cost of living payments when they were a thing. I get extra flexibility afforded to me in the workplace. When you’re a single person living alone you get none of that, unless maybe you’re on a very low income or just don’t work. Neither of which apply to my circumstances, pre or post being a mother. So, please @SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice do shut up.

OP, I completely agree with you. The people on here spouting off about how much of a luxury it is to have a home of your own are complete idiots. And have no clue. Or empathy.

As someone else said, it’s the single tax. Everything is designed for two. Discounts very rarely apply to single people. Holidays are a good example; any deal on Travelzoo, for instance, is always based on two sharing. It used to really piss me off.

Sadly, I don’t expect an improvement any time soon. Not with the current state of things anyway. I get you though, it’s tough out there. You’re definitely NBU.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:11

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:10

Why talk about 20 years ago? We are talking about now.
A SAHP has the choice to work as there are childcare schemes available.

I posted my life and people took exception to it. That’s how we got to 20yrs ago. HTH

overthinkersanonnymus · 08/03/2025 23:11

My sister is single with no children so doesn't get any universal credit top ups or child benefit etc and she lives hand to mouth every month on a £27k salary. It's really worrying, if she was to lose her job she'd be fucked.

Pinkfluffypencilcase · 08/03/2025 23:12

I have been married and reduced my hours to save on childcare. That felt quite secure as my h was working too.
then I was a single parent, topped up by benefits. Hard. A lot of pressure.
Then the worst situation of all - dc all moved out. And it’s v hard, relentless. I feel the pressure more and there’s no safety net.

HauntedBungalow · 08/03/2025 23:12

A lot of the extra expense of living alone comes down to economies of scale. But, there are some aspects that are more policy driven. Lack of earning top ups is a big one. Council tax is another huge one. Single people pay 50% more than people in a couple. So that's 50% more tax, not bills or food or discretionary spending, that's money the state demands from you. Also, married couples pay less income tax. Fuck knows what the rationale is for that. Single people are more likely to live in smaller dwellings and unfortunately in the UK smaller dwelling inevitably means leasehold which as far as I can work out is a legal fiction designed to fleece householders - thankfully the current government says they'll do away with it; we shall see. All of these things are an extra whammy for single person households.

EG94 · 08/03/2025 23:12

This reply has been deleted

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mylovelyboycat · 08/03/2025 23:12

My post was supposed to be a quote, followed by my comment 🫣....

BassesAreBest · 08/03/2025 23:12

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 22:58

That's a wholly different argument though.

People who earn more can afford more, sure.

Being single without dependents doesn't stop you earning well, indeed it's advantageous compared to those raising children.

But all things being equal, (ignoring the advanages that single people have that helps them earn more) a single person paying for one person expenses is worse off than a couple, no children pooling money, yes.

But better off than a single parent paying for 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children

And better off than a couple where only one person is able to work.

And better off than a couple where only one adult works and one adult provides childcare for 1, 2, 3, 4 or more children.

And better off than a couple where both adults work and they are supporting 1 or more children.

Probably also better off, if working, than retired people relying on state pension, disabled people on benefits, those without jobs....

So in the various family types, one person supporting one person is more fortunate than pretty much every family type apart from couples without children.

Yet on and on and on they whinge about how hard done by they are...

It does depend on salary a bit, though.

Understandably, you get far more help from benefits if you’re a single parent than a single adult living alone.

Out of interest, I looked up what the position would be for a single adult living alone compared with a single parent of 1 child, assuming renting suitable property sizes for both in my local area, both working 40 hours a week on NMW and no childcare costs or disabilities (which I appreciate would make the figures look different).

On wages plus a bit of UC, the single adult would get just under £29k per year. The single parent would get just over £40k per year. That goes a long way towards covering additional costs for a child.

Obviously if both were on £29k but the single parent needed a bigger house, higher bills, more clothes then they’d be worse off. But it’s not always as simple as the headline salary.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 08/03/2025 23:13

Oh do fuck off with your ‘but think of the poor single parents’ bullshit.
So, please do shut up.

oooo aren’t you so nice and pleasant? 🥹
Sound a tad bitter don’t you?
Well I’ll leave you to your pity party.

mylovelyboycat · 08/03/2025 23:14

@Addictedtofizzydrinks34 .....what have you started here?!!

mrsm43s · 08/03/2025 23:14

IWillAlwaysBeinaClubWithYouin1973 · 08/03/2025 23:04

Are we still saying OP should freeze fruit in a ziplock bag tho?

I, a person who is part of a family, buy it already frozen in it's own bag. I'm fairly sure that there's no rule that says you have to be in a relationship to buy the bags of frozen soft fruit that are readily available in all supermarkets!

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:16

Why don’t you sell up and look into buying shared ownership schemes? You can still live by yourself and it may be cheaper, giving you more disposable income to cover costs of living.

TwistedWonder · 08/03/2025 23:17

Totally get it OP. Just a shame the thread been monopolised by someone making it all about them and turning it into a Monty Python Yorkshireman race to the bottom pissing contest

But hey that’s MN - can’t possibly have a thread without someone derailing with ‘me me me me me but what about meeeeeeee’

angelspike · 08/03/2025 23:18

Yummydindins123 · 08/03/2025 23:16

Why don’t you sell up and look into buying shared ownership schemes? You can still live by yourself and it may be cheaper, giving you more disposable income to cover costs of living.

Edited

They're not usually because you're paying mortgage and the rent part

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