Happy wife, happy life

[Nettyhugs]

AIBU to think the happiest marriages involve a man who truly believes that a happy wife makes for a happy life. I think it works like this - he’s nice to his wife, appreciates her, pulls his weight at home so that she isn’t overburdened, surprises her with little gifts that he saw and made him think of her and is focussed on her happiness. This then gives him a wife who likes him back, fancies the pants off him (because that stuff he does for her is very attractive), is up for regular sex, happily irons his shirts and makes his favourite meals even though she doesn’t have to and indulges him.

This isn’t about love, it’s a given that the couple love each other.

Happy International Women’s Day! 👏🍪

Of course. But it works both ways.

Well except for the gifts and ironing.

I still wouldn’t be ironing the shirts but I do agree with you on the whole I suppose.

I'll do just about anything my DH asks. But he rarely asks. The secret to a successful marriage right there

Both ways here.

Happy Spouse, Happy House!

But a happy husband like me and him going on stag weekends to Amsterdam and to strip bars

Yes. I'm happy, I am content, and I fancy and love my husband.
I also have a fulfilling career, a husband who supports me and pulls his weight at home. He makes me feel adored and I adore him. It works both ways and I like to make him happy too

In my experience this phrase is often used in quite a patronising way tbh. It’s obviously true that if your wife (or husband for that matter) is not happy then it’ll be tough to have a happy life (although judging by many of the posts on here there are thousands of unhappy wives and an equal number of men who didn’t seem to give a shit and are living their best lives).

Just be nice to each other, help each other out. Behave like you’re on the same team.

@FrannyScraps I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVEEEEEEE that, happy spouse happy house. I want to embroider it on a cushion. Except I can't embroider. But it's very true.

Yanbu! 🙌🥰

My husband discourages me from ironing his shirts. He tells me they don’t need it.

Honestly I’ve only heard it in a joking way, in the context of “basically just do what your wife wants, even if it’s expensive”.

My husband also discourages me from ironing his shirts. He tells me he loves me but I really am too shit at ironing to be of any use in that area 😂

Doesn't it work both ways in a happy marriage? Like it's up to both sides to make their partner feel appreciated. "Happy wife, happy life" to me has overtones of the chauvinistic attitude of "keep the little woman happy".

It's because women instigate most divorces. So if the wife isn't happy, she'll leave him. If she's happy, she stays.

Happy spouse
happy house

that way everyone is happy

I have a husband that puts me first, and he’s only happy if I’m happy. So I’d agree.

Sexist nonsense like 'happy wife, happy life' need to go. Straight women just want a man who is a normal adult. Unfortuantely, they seem hard to come by.

DH and I just do things for each other because we love each other and we're thoughtful. I'll iron him a shirt, make his lunch without a thought, it's not difficult to do his lunch while I'm doing DD's, and if I'm ironing something for me, I might as well do him a couple of shirts.

It's not a competition, we're adults, he doesn't come and tell me he's emptied the dishwasher, or done a load of washing. Jobs need doing so we discuss them and crack on.

So yeah - Happy Spouse, Happy House here too.

Well I’m not sure it’s that simple but yes your life is happier if youre in a relationship where you’re both happy and pulling your weight.

I’d love someone to empty the dishwasher without coming to find me to tell me to get a well done. It would be bliss!

I wouldn't iron his shirts, and I buy my own gifts (as the higher earner).

But yes, my husband's life is hell if I'm unhappy with him, and peaceful and serene when I'm happy with him.

He KNOWS what I need to be happy and none of it is hard, which is why I find it SO frustrating when he let's things slip.

Happy wife, happy life drives me absolutely f*** nuts. Misogynistic, patronising, patriarchal drivel.

And no, I do not require little gifts. And I do not buy little gifts for my husband. Because we are both adults with agency

We are really old. I iron his shirts happily, but quite badly. He is pleased his shirts are ironed.

What have I just read... the assumption that a woman will cook and iron for her man, and that if she's only treated in the patronising way suggested then she'll blossom into a happy little wife?