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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dinged someones car door and drove away

133 replies

Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 17:48

I was out shopping with my friend and baby, she had driven us in her car. at a carpark, when we returned to our parking space the car beside us had parked over the line into our space on the side with the car seat, thinking I could still get my child in I opened our car door and unfortunately it did a small dinge, when I checked the other car there did not appear to be any dents but the smallest dot of white paint from my friends car was there. My friend said not to worry and she backed out of the space to let us get in safely (something we should have done from the start). There was no one in the other car and my friend drove off but now im worried we'll get in trouble or that someone will have saw us and report it? AIBU for worrying, friend doesn't seem bothered!

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 08/03/2025 18:41

I am on the fence about this one.

I would, and have, left my details on the one occasion I actually definitely damaged another parked car and I knew the visible damage was my fault.

However, on another occasion which possibly involved me dinging another car with my door (I genuinely did not think I had) when I was much younger, the other driver was being very unpleasant and saying I had caused the damage on their car door. Luckily, my husband appeared at that time and realised what was going on, and pointed out that the damage wasn't in the area that my door would have made contact. Basically I was being stitched up for existing damage.

So whilst I don't condone not saying anything, I would be very wary of ending up in a similar situation.

Original poster
Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 18:42

It wasnt a Tesla, it was all a bit overwhelming with a child crying and being in such a tight space, if I was on my own not sure how I would have gotten the baby in as I couldn't drive back like my friend did. The carpark is quite out in the open and facing a fast food restaurant so i dont know if anyone noticed, i definitely checked and there was no indents etc and looked around a few times to see if I could see anyone but we had to leave and my friend definitely didnt want to leave a note. I don't feel theres anything I can do now more worried if it's reported and one of us gets in trouble, but if we say we checked and there was no damage what would the Police do? My car has been properly dinged numerous times, never would I have even questioned it especially if I was parked over the line with a car with carseats in it

OP posts:
Original poster
Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 18:44

Also curious what you would put in a note in this situation? Hi I hit your door I dont see any damage except a fleck of paint sorry! Heres my mobile number?

OP posts:
biscuitsandbooks · 08/03/2025 18:46

Honestly, stop stressing. The chances of anyone even noticing let alone doing something about it is absolutely tiny.

And even if they do notice, they're highly unlikely to ever find out which car did it and who owns it. And even if they do find out, it's your friend who owns the car and who will need to deal with the fall out, not you.

AquaPeer · 08/03/2025 18:47

Tbh OP even in the tiny chance there is some noticeable damage and the driver can get the car’s details no one will contact you anyway since it’s your friends car? She’ll have to deal with it

KellySeveride · 08/03/2025 18:51

We are as a country ridiculously precious about our cars bodywork. Some people need to spend some time in France where a lot of cars there have a ding in every panel. If we were all a little less precious life would be simpler.

Accidents that involve damage to one or all cars should absolutely be dealt with by insurance companies but a little car park ding? Meh I can’t get worked up about it.

RuledByHormones · 08/03/2025 18:53

Could be worse. My friend got a lift in her pal’s new car the other week. Opened the passenger door to get out and a passing car took the thing right off its hinges 🙊

saltinesandcoffeecups · 08/03/2025 18:59

Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 18:42

It wasnt a Tesla, it was all a bit overwhelming with a child crying and being in such a tight space, if I was on my own not sure how I would have gotten the baby in as I couldn't drive back like my friend did. The carpark is quite out in the open and facing a fast food restaurant so i dont know if anyone noticed, i definitely checked and there was no indents etc and looked around a few times to see if I could see anyone but we had to leave and my friend definitely didnt want to leave a note. I don't feel theres anything I can do now more worried if it's reported and one of us gets in trouble, but if we say we checked and there was no damage what would the Police do? My car has been properly dinged numerous times, never would I have even questioned it especially if I was parked over the line with a car with carseats in it

What does being on your own have to do with anything?

it was all a bit overwhelming with a child crying and being in such a tight space, if I was on my own not sure how I would have gotten the baby in as I couldn't drive back like my friend did.

This whole comment seems way over the top of what is an everyday occurrence of having to navigate life.

I mean you were putting a crying child in a car which was a tight squeeze… Not exactly juggling nitroglycerin.

Now you’re catastrophizing … it’s fine your friend will either get dinged for it or not at this point. In all likelihood it’s a nonevent where the owner (if they even notice) rubs the spot and it’s gone.

Seriously this isn’t something to worry about.

DetectiveSleuth · 08/03/2025 19:01

Pootles34 · 08/03/2025 17:56

Shouldn't have parked over the line then should they!

Would you be so unconcerned if someone damaged your car and then just drove off?

DetectiveSleuth · 08/03/2025 19:03

AquaPeer · 08/03/2025 18:47

Tbh OP even in the tiny chance there is some noticeable damage and the driver can get the car’s details no one will contact you anyway since it’s your friends car? She’ll have to deal with it

There’s no ‘friend’.

Original poster
Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 19:03

saltinesandcoffeecups · 08/03/2025 18:59

What does being on your own have to do with anything?

it was all a bit overwhelming with a child crying and being in such a tight space, if I was on my own not sure how I would have gotten the baby in as I couldn't drive back like my friend did.

This whole comment seems way over the top of what is an everyday occurrence of having to navigate life.

I mean you were putting a crying child in a car which was a tight squeeze… Not exactly juggling nitroglycerin.

Now you’re catastrophizing … it’s fine your friend will either get dinged for it or not at this point. In all likelihood it’s a nonevent where the owner (if they even notice) rubs the spot and it’s gone.

Seriously this isn’t something to worry about.

Show quote history

Sorry the bit about being on my own was because my friend was able to reverse her car out of the space before we got in in the end but if I was on own I couldn't do this and hold the baby.
Yeah probably worrying for nothing, just don't want my friend to get into trouble for something I did. Oh well cant do anything about it now

OP posts:
BIossomtoes · 08/03/2025 19:05

If it happened to my car I wouldn’t even notice. I doubt most people would.

Original poster
Dragonfirestone · 08/03/2025 19:05

DetectiveSleuth · 08/03/2025 19:03

There’s no ‘friend’.

Show quote history

Why would I lie about my friend? What difference would it make, having my friend there meant she could actually reverse the car out for me to put the baby in without doing any damage, getting a baby into a carseat is difficult when you have the proper space but when someone is over the line it's even harder!

OP posts:
Beamur · 08/03/2025 19:09

Dings happen.
Personally I don't think it's a big deal. I have dings on mine - doesn't bother me. If you'd done this to my car and left a note, I wouldn't have contacted your insurance company (because I don't get them fixed...)

Chemenger · 08/03/2025 19:11

I drive a Fiat and have adopted an Italian attitude to minor scrapes and scratches, I really don’t care and never get them repaired. Having lived with a horribly narrow steep drive and now with a ludicrously tight underground car park with poorly placed pillars the odd scrape is just part of life’s tapestry. I would own up if I damaged someone else’s car but people have left marks on my doors before and life’s too short to fret about it.

2025willbemytime · 08/03/2025 19:12

No sympathy. I hope you are worried. I have discovered that someone has keyed my car almost the full length of one side today. Majorly pissed off. No reason for it. I never park too close. Just a spiteful wanker trying ti make themselves feel better.

biscuitsandbooks · 08/03/2025 19:13

2025willbemytime · 08/03/2025 19:12

No sympathy. I hope you are worried. I have discovered that someone has keyed my car almost the full length of one side today. Majorly pissed off. No reason for it. I never park too close. Just a spiteful wanker trying ti make themselves feel better.

Edited

That's not really comparable to OP's situation where there's no damage, though.

I think most people would be pissed off to find their car had been keyed, but I wouldn't even notice a single fleck of paint!

Chemenger · 08/03/2025 19:14

2025willbemytime · 08/03/2025 19:12

No sympathy. I hope you are worried. I have discovered that someone has keyed my car almost the full length of one side today. Majorly pissed off. No reason for it. I never park too close. Just a spiteful wanker trying ti make themselves feel better.

Edited

How is that remotely comparable to the OP’s situation?

Isobel201 · 08/03/2025 19:14

Most door dings are easily repairable with T-cut anyway, I have had a few in the past. They're not worth even bothering insurance.

2025willbemytime · 08/03/2025 19:15

Just saying how annoying it is when people act like dickheads around cars.

Beamur · 08/03/2025 19:16

Keying cars is such a spiteful mean spirited thing to do.

TiredEyes25 · 08/03/2025 19:18

Everyone doesn't do it.

I accidentally left handbrake off once. It rolled into another car. I waited so long and no one returned. I had a school run to get to. I asked the supermarket to take my details and also left the details on their windscreen to call me.
They did but actually said don't worry their car ' was a heap an old banger' for work (in their words) and said to not worry.
.I remember being so worried as I'd not long passed my test .

Supporthelittleguys · 08/03/2025 19:21

I have to park in a busy car park with tight spaces 5x days a week, my door has been dented quite badly, I have had a scratch the shape of an egg timer carved into my door, numerous random scratches, someone hit/kicked my petrol cap so now that permanently hangs open. No one has ever left a note. So no you’re not the first & I have no way of knowing who did it, so what can I do? It is annoying though. Saying that, if they parked over the white line I’d say that’s fair game and if their car got damaged that’s their fault.

WonderingWanda · 08/03/2025 19:23

You didn't open the door very gently if it left paint on the other car. You could see it was close, in that situation I would always put my hand between the door and the other car.

DalzielOrNoDalzielAndDontPascoe · 08/03/2025 19:23

RickiRaccoon · 08/03/2025 18:37

Try not to worry about it. Honestly people have dented our car with doors and it's a little annoying but I sort of figure it's life and cars should be able to take small knocks and not remain pristine forever. The other person isn't going to come after you for a fleck of paint.

Yes, this. Cars travel at up to 70 mph and share the roads and car parks with thousands of other cars. They aren't museum pieces that are carefully stored in climate-controlled glass display cases.

Serious damage needs to be dealt with, but anybody who buys a car and doesn't expect it to ever get a tiny ding or fleck of paint from another car's door on it just is not a realist - especially if they ever use any public car park these days, with ridiculously narrow spaces.

What happens if their paintwork gets slightly chipped from loose stones on the road kicked up by other cars - or indeed by their own car?

If you leave your details, loads of people would fill their boots and claim on your insurance for everything wrong with their car that they can possibly find - or demand you pay them the £XXX that they claim it will cost to repair and just leave it and pocket the money.