To think some people found lockdown really hard and it wasn't their fault

[elliejjtiny]

I don't normally think about this, it's something horrible that happened but it's over for us for the most part thank goodness (I appreciate there are people who are still struggling a lot).

It's that time of year so some people are saying 5 years ago we were doing xyz for the last time etc. Mil was going on about how great she found lockdown. Not a lot changed for her and FIL as they don't go out much and they are retired. Meanwhile I had 5 dc with SEN, one of whom licks everything and for us life changed dramatically for the worse. I was saying that it was nice that MIL enjoyed lockdown but for us it was extremely hard. She told me it was my fault and it would have been fun for us too if I had been more organised.

IMO for some people lockdown was awful.

Seriously ? You can't imagine people single people working from home in a small flat with no human contact difficult? Or the elderly person who is scared that going outside will kill them? The people whose medical treatment was put on hold?

I do believe that some form of lockdown was necessary in the early days so I wouldn't describe myself as 'anti' but even so it is blindingly obvious that it was a difficult time for so many people.

Roll your eyes and just accept your MIL is a silly bint. I hope things are on the up for you now.

I found the first lock down OK- mainly due to the weather and us having a garden
The Christmas one I found very very hard.

Lockdown for you sounds like it was very understandably awful, and your MIL is a twat.

It was mixed for me. I owned a business and the work I did was much, much nicer during lockdown. I then sold it right at the end and well above what it was worth because it was COVID proof at an uncertain time, and it's made a huge difference to my life. But my friendship group was decimated, even now socially many people I know haven't really recovered, and I really miss those people.

2dc at home plus schoolwork plus business plus HUGE loss of income = awful

You are not alone

Yes, I completely agree with this. Particularly the bit about the glibness.

We were 'lucky' in that both of us continued to work outside of the house and had that routine and normality, but I am still not recovered (for want of a less dramatic word) from the battering my mental health took.

Lockdown was the worst thing that ever happened to me & I grew up in Belfast during the height of the troubles. I lost all sense of hope , joy and positivity. I kept my job & have a nice house and garden but the feeling of having no control over my life, that the government could impose laws to keep us locked in our own homes, that you would be judged harshly for questioning it nearly cost me my sanity. It was the absolutely worst time of my life.

I find it hard to.hear that some people found it great as it was torture for me. I was not able to.see my partner, I live alone and was working from home. The isolation messed with my.mental health. I'm.still not the same.

My SIL goes on about how great lockdown was and how she feels "blessed to have experienced it"

I'm sure it was great for her, since they both illegally scammed the government out of furlough money, while still working full time getting cash-in-hand, managed to put loads aside and buy a house.

For me, lockdown was horrible. I'll never be the same.

Yes, my lockdown was bloody lovely tbh.

@elliejjtiny your MIL sounds exceptionally thick. How could anyone with knowledge of your situation blame you for struggling?

I enjoyed lockdown even with young children.

I always say one of the actual nicest summers we have had was the lockdown one.

Like the planet was happy with less pollution from less flights and fewer cars on the road.

I hated lockdowns, 2 young dc at home whilst me and dh wfh, no furlough, no time to make fucking banana bread and read Hilary Mantel. Doing the same things every day - working, washing, cooking, tidying up, going for your daily allowed walk, listening to the death toll on the news. It wasn’t living, it was existing.

And we were lucky as we weren’t ill, we weren’t alone, we had a garden and we had jobs that weren’t frontline key worker ones. I don’t know how anyone’s looking back at that time with nostalgia.

Agreed. I actually find it incredibly insensitive how people bang on about their wonderful lockdown.

Mixed bag here- first one we were in UK, worried about our business and to be honest I'm not a 24/7 round husband kind of person, I found that hard as my H moaned non stop -but we got through it without going bust thank goodness- however lots on our industry basically had their income cut dead overnight , so we had lots of friends in difficulty

We had also been planning to move overseas post Brexit and hit obstacles as couldn't fly anywhere to view rental houses etc-

Second one we were living in Copenhagen and it was easier to handle- they used the Covid app passport too and if tested twice a week there was a fair bit you could still go to plus had a gorgeous beach an easy drive away and a cute fishing village that was doing great ice creams and coffees to take out

So much of this depends where you lived, what space you had inside and outside, whether you were dealing with parents or young kids, whether your relationship was good, what your job was etc

A few years ago I met someone at a party and she was saying how she’s a consultant and during Covid worked in A&E. I commented that that must have been v difficult and she said “oh not really- much better than being locked up at home”. So I think it’s a case of everyone having different things that they find tricky. If I’d been in uk in Covid I’d 100% have just gone and got a job in Tesco or Amazon or something just to get out of the house. I can’t be inside all day. I find it mentally oppressive. My parents, although retired, are the same and also found it tricky- the dog got walked a LOT 🤣. They’d take it out separately to get some space from each other.

Single parent to child with SEN, a job I had to keep going.... Lost my relationship...caught COVID.....developed MEcfs.... Feel like I never quite came out of lockdown.

I don't think that's universally true. My primary school aged child sailed through lockdown, loved being at home doing things with us, enjoyed his home schooling. Whereas our teenager secondary schooler really suffered from 6 months missed socialisation.

@elliejjtiny of course you're right OP and your MiL is wrong. Lockdown was incredibly difficult for many people.

Your mil sounds self absorbed. And presumably, if lockdown didn't affect her negatively, friendless.

I think the overall effects on society were dreadful. Maybe a few individuals enjoyed it but surely even they aren't enjoying the way that services and leisure amenities have been since then.

It was shit. My dad died, my mum had to go into a care home which I never even saw since she then died, my MIL was terminally ill, I had to clear and sell my childhood home, and couldn't have a funeral for either parent.

Every time we talk about lockdown I think about how incredibly lucky we were as a family. We had plenty of space, a garden, secure jobs, and no one close to us was CEV. Yes, it was quite stressful with primary aged children and work life that really ramped up due to the nature of what we do, but for us personally it was quite a good time. But I recognise we were lucky to have that experience and think that we were the exception rather than the norm.

People lost their lives, their livelihoods, their loved ones, and it drastically impacted peoples' mental health in a variety of ways - not acknowledging that does them a disservice. Your MIL is out of touch with the ways it impacted people in the real world and an idiot.

I found lockdown really hard because both my DDs were primary school aged then, the youngest only just turned 5. I was expected to WFH and look after them and try and get some school work done with them. DH could only WFH 2 days a week so most of the time it was just me.
My DM kept making comments like wasn't I washing all my shopping before putting it away and should I really be taking the DC out for a walk every day - not really what I needed! They would also call a couple of times a week to talk to the DC but never really wanted to talk to me, check I was ok and coping etc (I think they just thought it wasn't that bad for us).
It did actually affect our relationship a lot and it's taken a while to recover

We also found it really difficult
Newborn baby and a toddler with SEN and trying to teach 2 other children at home.

While everyone else was panic buying, we was wondering if we would be able to feed our son who at the time was living off aldi cheerios (later was diagnosed with ARFID and autism) dp would go to aldi and there would literally be no cereal for him.

We In a way become prisoners in our home and didn't go for any walks etc because he is a bin/lamp post licker.

It was extremely isolating especially as everyone's focus was on the fact we had a newborn baby at home to our selfs and how that must of been so "nice"

But the knock of effect was I didn't leave the house for over a year because my anxiety was so high regarding our son that I became really unwell.

For me I suspect that there were periods in my life where I'd have been less affected by it. I was quite socially isolated for a period after university and lockdown wouldn't have made it any worse. I don't know how I'd have reacted though.

Personally, I was very happy during lockdown, apart from the worry for others. Like someone else, my house was good, I had plenty of garden space and an assured income. I was returning from maternity leave in the March, and my return to work was much more flexible than it would have been. My elderly relatives were safe, and I wasn't giving birth (although I did give birth with lock down visitation rules later on, and we managed well)

I'm not naive enough to think that it was like that for everyone, and my heart broke for others that struggled.

ETA: I do often think about how the lockdown periods may have impacted DCs development though. Six months of being held by no-one other than DH or I...