To think some people found lockdown really hard and it wasn't their fault

[elliejjtiny]

I don't normally think about this, it's something horrible that happened but it's over for us for the most part thank goodness (I appreciate there are people who are still struggling a lot).

It's that time of year so some people are saying 5 years ago we were doing xyz for the last time etc. Mil was going on about how great she found lockdown. Not a lot changed for her and FIL as they don't go out much and they are retired. Meanwhile I had 5 dc with SEN, one of whom licks everything and for us life changed dramatically for the worse. I was saying that it was nice that MIL enjoyed lockdown but for us it was extremely hard. She told me it was my fault and it would have been fun for us too if I had been more organised.

IMO for some people lockdown was awful.

Yes. I ended up signed off for 5 weeks, fighting of crippling anxiety and suicidal impulses (teacher).

Off

@Lesina i take it you’re being facetious

Wish people would stop bringing it up. All I feel is bitter resentment at smug twats who enjoyed it many of whom were sat at home on 80% pay

Oh I see

Smug twats? It was those kind of views that made lockdown particularly unpleasant and divisive

The WW2 analogies were a particular lowlight, weren't they? I don't think I saw a single one that managed to acknowledge the existence of people who lived through both that and lockdown, much less amplifying any of their views.

@MistressoftheDarkSide What got to me the most was the sudden realisation how easy it would be to recruit people into the Stasi. It was almost a global Standird Prison experiment in many ways. And the oppression of discussion in case "misinformation" was hugely frustrating.

Yep. People used to say "Hitler would never rise to power in Britain, we are too sceptical", but now I'm not so sure. The oppression of discussion was not so much frustrating, but downright fucking dangerous. You could watch BBC interviewers cutting scientists off if they were about to deviate from the script. And the state of fear had "experiment" written all over it. To this day, I am certain that once the government decided that lockdown was inevitable (having tried to avoid it), somebody said "let's seize this opportunity to find out exactly how much we can frighten the public, and give them unrealistic rules, to see how much they obey them". This meant that it was then politically impossible to ease restrictions, because they had convinced the public that the virus had to be stopped at all costs. They would have liked to reopen the schools in June, but the public were so frightened, that it was impossible. I would have respected the government much more if they had said "actually, we can see that lockdown does not stop the virus; it only delays it. It's better to ease restrictions now (spring), so that we have the wave through the summer. We will provide support and protection to those who are vulnerable. We have seen so far that lockdown is causing terrible damage, and we apologise for the damage caused so far to your livelihoods and children's mental health".

And what worries me most is that after imposing the state of fear, the government will have observed the public reaction, and said "Wow! We did not expect this much compliance, the public did everything we told them, and not only did they not question it, they begged and pleaded for more restrictions. Frightening the pants off the public is a winning strategy, we must use it again." Partygate might have averted this for a short while, but I'm not hopeful for them trying to frighten the public again in a few years' time, possibly about something completely different.

I must point out, it wasn't like that everywhere. Anecdotally, it didn't seem to work half so well on the working classes and those less inclined to trust the police. I felt very glad to live in an area where that sort of thing doesn't fly.

Ups and downs as most things in life

loved all the walks with my two tween/teens
loved the easy mornings
loved sorting the house and garden from top to bottom

didnt enjoy home schooling

It took a couple of years for that to come back for me.
It was the autumn of constant tier changes (and life straddling two counties going into them at different times) and the November and January lockdowns throwing life out of the window again, then the glacially slow lifting of restrictions through the first half of 2021 that broke my ability to plan, anticipate and enjoy. I wasn't the only one, there was a hefty thread of people (about May 2021) that felt like the joy had sucked out of life too. I have kept on doing things until the confidence (oh so slowly) crept back.

My life was hit by bereavements through 2022, and dealing with the uncertainty of a child with various recurring ailments requiring repeated time off school. This did not help.

Friends were totally burned out by trying to work or study through the lockdowns with younger children plus dealing with their own life-shit so they were also in heads-down survival mode and it was anout 2023 before there was any collective energy between us.

I realised in 2021 that I was depressed, but the cure would be a return to normality so didn't seek medication to support it. It might be that so much time later you do need some medical help with that. Pushing out to do something new, interesting and stimulating could also help. It's taken time to trust in things like routines and plans again. A long time.

I hope you can re-find the colour and texture to life again. It may well not be the same, we're 5 years older and recent years have done a lot to make us more jaded (finances, Ukraine, climate issues, international world leaders) but finding the essence of yourself can still be done.

I nearly went to pieces in the first lockdown. Young child combined with terror about suddenly very vulnerable parents. I think so much was dependent on circumstances.

I was thinking the other day that now my daughter is that much older (late primary) it would be so much easier and possibly even enjoyable. She would be happy with craft, spending time as a family so much more and could understand when we needed to work and why she needed to homeschool.

It makes it very hard to draw conclusions as the whole thing varied so much for people.

Food for thought. I felt quite lucky to live near a county border, as it meant being able to travel away from the local restrictions guinea pig zone in mid to late 2020. We just gave false details when we went anywhere.

I always thought of that as an advantage, but can see how the mental energy required to monitor multiple sets of local regimes could've been really hard.

It depends on individual circumstances. I loved lockdown, but some people were suicidal because they found it so difficult. Children with SEN, living in a cramped flat, living with someone you hate, or alone with no human contact, are just some of the many scenarios that must have been Hell.

I totally agree with this.

We ruined society through fear, and the weird belief that old, sick people ‘deserved’ to live for a bit longer (and I say this as someone who is old and a bit frail, with a DH who is in continuing life preserving intervention). We used to say to each other when we heard about all the restrictions ‘not in my name’.

My worst fear was about the imposition of the ‘vaccine’ and the threat of being completely removed from society as I was terrified of having it. I have a nasty tendency to anaphylactic shock caused by random stimuli, and the first vaccine invitation mentioned this possibility almost in passing. My GP offered to have steroid injection and oxygen on standby when I was jabbed….well, no thanks.
I was very worried that I wouldn’t be allowed to enter public premises without the ‘purity certificate’ which would have been serious as it is up to me to do most of the face to face contact necessities.

Uni students had it bad. Being tricked into signing up for course fees, accommodation leases and student loans by being promised blended learning up to deadline day in Summer then once applications committed unis changed their websites to “mostly online”. Just a giant con. At our local uni, staff knew they were working from home for the entire 20-21 academic year and that virtually nothing would be happening on campus so it was a sheer lie to promise blended learning.

Then the campus security were stopping students leaving their campus accommodation, questioning where they were going. Even though flatmates were obviously a household they weren’t allowed to even walk round campus in groups of six or more, despite them living together in a flat of 12! Threatened with expulsion when son and 3 of his flat mates went out with a football for a kick about!

It was an awful time for students. What’s the point of going to uni if you’re literally going to be trapped in your tiny room watching online lectures and doing seminars and tutorials over Skype or teams. Even clubs, societies and sports were online only! May as well have stayed home and saved thousands in accommodation costs or deferred for a year.

All just to generate money for the uni! Even when there was the official edict to leave campus and study from home at the start of 21, the uni refused to refund flat rental costs for a flat they weren’t allowed to use!

The policy decision to use fear based messaging is one we're going to be living with the downsides of for a while yet.

It sounds like it was tough for you OP.

I remember one good thing about it, the weather. That was it, really.

Had Yr 6 DS and DD Yr 9 at home. So DS missed all the rite of passage end of primary school stuff, although they did go back to school in 'bubbles ' in an ad-hoc way in June. DD now says she hated yr9 anyway and wasn't that bothered by being at home. DS struggled with it though.

DH and I had to try and teach our instrumental lessons online, which was a bit farcical at times. In subsequent lockdowns it was even more difficult as the kids were then doing their online lessons so the wi fi kept packing up!

Worst thing for me was that my mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour in early March 2020 , my dad had passed away from prostate cancer in 2019, so she was on her own.

When I think back over the time we could have spent with her when she was relatively 'well' it makes me really sad. We didn't live very near, so my sister was her support bubble but in that first lock down, all she could do was drop food off etc. My mum died in Oct 2022, and I still can't think of her as she was when she was well, I can only think of her really ill, towards the end.

It makes me so angry still, when I think of how the government behaved, with their parties etc, and compare that with what my mum was going through. And I do think that it seemed to matter more about people getting covid any other health condition.

Feeling quite emotional after doing that post.

I think more people had a hard time than didn’t and I don’t think that’s their fault.

for me it possibly saved my life. I was in an abusive relationship with a man I didn’t live with but did work with. It was very hard to break free when I saw him everyday then lockdown stopped him from coming anywhere near me and I got free of him.

also after horrific pnd I finally spent some time at home with my kids and loved it. It felt like compensation for a shit maternity leave.

That shows a huge lack of empathy.

I enjoyed lock down mostly, but I live in the country with lots of walks, in a big house with a garden, DH and I could both WFH, and had no children.

It doesn't take much imagination to understand that it would have been very different for people living in small city flats in abusive relationships with multiple young kids who lost their income (for example).

No I am not. I would not survive another lockdown.

Your MIL needs a healthy dose of Fuck off. I went into lockdown with an abusive partner, a toddler who never slept and an older child who didn’t get a school place. I worked on a Covid ward then would get home to chaos and school sending me messages saying that the school work hadn’t been set.

For us it was great as well no work but full pay. We got up and went for a walk in the local woods bought snacks in local shop and watched lots of tv shows and films

I think it was absolute hell for some people. I enjoyed the fact life slowed down but I really struggled with home working and home schooling at the same time! It was very tough.
I know some people had it worse than us.
I also feel for people who were alone. My friend had no partner or children and felt extremely isolated. She said she felt like a caged animal.
I know a small business owner who killed himself because his business folded.

However it was not 'just' for that reason, that you said in the first paragraph.
When the pandemic started, there was no reason to believe that it would just 'pick off' the old, sick and immunosuppressed. There were estimates that 40% of the population could die from Covid, that's about 25 million people across the UK. We had a disaster planning exercise at work shortly before the lock down, using a pandemic as the cause, and that was the figure we were told we would lose from our staff teams.
It was genuinely terrifying that family and friends could succumb and die.

Heartbreaking to see posts above where grandparents were talking to the children through a window

What a joke